Aleandra Felix

Aleandra Felix

Give me peace or give me death
Jan 2, 2020
39
I'm off my meds. I took Zoloft before but it didn't work. After taking other (expensive) antidepressants with no results, I asked my psychiatrist if I could go back to Zoloft but in a higher dose. That's one of the only two medicines I can get for free where I live. I'm too broke to afford a mental illness. Anyway, I got the prescription but I'm not taking them. I don't wanna postpone my death (once again) because I deluded myself with some temporary fake happiness that solves absolutely nothing.

The thing is: I'm not taking the meds cause I don't wanna feel better but I was reading about the high rate of suicide among teenagers and young adults taking Zoloft. I read the leaflet and already knew that but I was seeing some statistics. I've never felt suicidal on Zoloft. After the initial improvement I'd just feel like shit. But now I'm wondering if I could use it to help to CTB. Has any of you felt suicidal urges or impulses while medicated? How can I trigger these feelings?

Just to clarify, I'm 100% sure I wanna die. I've been thinking about it for years. It's just that back in the days, I had emotions and the pain motivating me. Now, as I said in other posts, I just feel completely numb and my apathy won't let me die. Life is stilI terrible, I'm just not reacting to anything anymore. I wish I could have a little nudge to end it all.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Fragile and uglybean18
J

Jimbo

Member
Jan 9, 2020
24
@Aleandra Felix

All psych meds react differently on different people. Yes a side affect of antidepressants can be suicidal ideations/thoughts in some people. No one is going to advise you to "trigger" suicidal feelings as you ask. No one will "nudge" you to end it all either.

You sound confused stating.... " The thing is: I'm not taking the meds cause I don't wanna feel better ".

I encourage you to to take the meds if they help you feel better. No one will encourage you to take meds to make you feel suicidal as you ask. My best suggestion would be if that did happen (the meds made you feel suicidal) then try another medication(s) first. We don't aid or encourage suicide on this website.

Please read the header again you see each time you log on or view SS.com which states..........

"Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information.
For immediate help, consider calling the Samaritan's hotline: (877) 870-4673. Be aware they may call emergency services if they believe you are at imminent risk of death. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support."

I wish you the best.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Aleandra Felix
Lastsauce

Lastsauce

Experienced
Dec 22, 2019
258
According to some new research findings Zoloft (sertraline) seems to alleviate anxiety much better than depression.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Aleandra Felix
J

Jimbo

Member
Jan 9, 2020
24
According to some new research findings Zoloft (sertraline) seems to alleviate anxiety much better than depression.
Actually Zoloft is an SSRI which treats BOTH depression and anxiety. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors are a class of drugs that are typically used as antidepressants in the treatment of major depressive disorder and anxiety disorders. Like ALL psych meds it will affect everyone differently. Some it helps and others it makes their conditions worse. There is no exact science behind it.

This however gets off topic of what OP is asking for. What OP asks for can't be aided or encouraged here.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Aleandra Felix
Aleandra Felix

Aleandra Felix

Give me peace or give me death
Jan 2, 2020
39
@Aleandra Felix

All psych meds react differently on different people. Yes a side affect of antidepressants can be suicidal ideations/thoughts in some people. No one is going to advise you to "trigger" suicidal feelings as you ask. No one will "nudge" you to end it all either.

You sound confused stating.... " The thing is: I'm not taking the meds cause I don't wanna feel better ".

I encourage you to to take the meds if they help you feel better. No one will encourage you to take meds to make you feel suicidal as you ask. My best suggestion would be if that did happen (the meds made you feel suicidal) then try another medication(s) first. We don't aid or encourage suicide on this website.

Please read the header again you see each time you log on or view SS.com which states..........

"Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information.
For immediate help, consider calling the Samaritan's hotline: (877) 870-4673. Be aware they may call emergency services if they believe you are at imminent risk of death. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support."

I wish you the best.

"I encourage you to to take the meds if they help you feel better." Regarding this, as I said, all antidepressants I've taken until now didn't work. What happens is that I feel a bit better or stable in the first month, then I slowly get to my normal state of feeling terrible in the following months of treatment. I don't wanna take it because I don't want to postpone my death cause I'm feeling "ok", just to get back to depression mode without the motivation to end it all. What I wanted to know was that if I could get suicidal after the first month. But I understand it's not allowed to encourage suicide here.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Jimbo
TheEndof

TheEndof

It's getting dark and it's getting cold
Dec 31, 2019
146
I took Zoloft for a while. It was helpful for my anxiety, but didn't do as much to alleviate my depression. It helped a bit and it gave me the energy/desire to go out and socialize (a lot of my anxiety at the time was social in nature), which in turn did alleviate a lot of my suicidal thinking. I stopped taking it after about a year because I didn't like the idea of being tied to a drug and believed things to be looking up for me life circumstance wise. I was "okay" (anxiety still mostly alleviated, depression very much present but manageable) up until 6 or so months ago and have gone downhill since.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Aleandra Felix

Similar threads

fishlover
Replies
1
Views
187
Recovery
BlackEyedDog
BlackEyedDog
hungryhamster
Discussion bpd rambling
Replies
5
Views
199
Suicide Discussion
Tig
Tig
catbunny
Replies
3
Views
205
Suicide Discussion
GalacticWarrior777
GalacticWarrior777