Venting Harmed myself after 7 moths

[ilistentoradiohead]

I just harmed myself. There's 5 lines of scar and I did it with my cutter. I was scared because it has been a while and I had to stop in-between. I did try to dig in to my skin so it would bleed but I was too scared so I'm just left with red scars.

I'm upset it doesn't bleed but I'll do better next time. I haven't been doing anything but staying in bed for the whole day. I just want to disappear.