febuary

febuary

Member
Apr 12, 2025
12
2025 was the hardest year of my life, in particular the last few months of the year were just fucking awful. Going into 2026 thousands of dollars in debt, losing friendships, with no end in sight. Just had to get a second job again to try and make ends meet, the thought of which depresses me. I worked 2 jobs for years, quit one of them because I wanted to go back and finish my degree, blew through my savings and now here I am again, forced to work 2 jobs because I can't afford to live. Starting to feel like I'll never finish college.

Some might call it foolish but I've always seen New Year's as a fresh start or a blank slate of sorts even if it's purely symbolic. I'm kind of superstitious in that way I guess, I used to be really serious about resolutions and all that. I've never felt this hopeless going into a new year. I just can't see an end to it all.

I was doing pretty ok for a few months so I don't have any preparations or a plan. Had the thought to buy SN a few years back and stockpile just in case, wish I would've gone through with it. Now I have to get my affairs in order all over again. Got a girl who I love, she's not my girlfriend but I know she likes me too. I really don't want to see her in pain because of anything I do to myself. Just can't see a way to keep going anymore.
 

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