![Jacquelyn](/data/avatars/l/5/5935.jpg?1614715452)
Jacquelyn
hellworld_kickflip888
- Feb 23, 2019
- 107
I've been in and out of my episodes of severe depression, haven't offed myself yet, surprisingly.
I have a girlfriend now. She wants to get a car and live with me in an apartment. She's a ridiculously hard worker and recently got promoted to manager. I love her I really do, but here's my issue:
I can't work for the life of me. I've never lasted more than a few months at any job, usually because I have some sort of mental breakdown eventually. But I also have a medical problem with my feet and can't do much labor.
I feel useless. I've resorted to trying to do... Less legal things for money... And it's not paying off at all. I'm lazy as fuck, I'm a drug addict, and I don't want to be a leech on my girlfriend.
I just don't want to break her heart. Some of my close friends basically are just waiting for me to be found dead in my room, they make jokes about me being suicidal at this point.
I'm tired of trying and failing. I don't want to do this adult shit. I fucking hate it. I feel like life is a complete scam and most people just end up lucky and have enough reasons to live like their family, children, etc. If I end up catching the bus, tally it up as another casualty of capitalism. I'll try to give it a month or so, but otherwise I'm just finding a nice place to be alone for a while and overdosing.
Thanks for reading.
I have a girlfriend now. She wants to get a car and live with me in an apartment. She's a ridiculously hard worker and recently got promoted to manager. I love her I really do, but here's my issue:
I can't work for the life of me. I've never lasted more than a few months at any job, usually because I have some sort of mental breakdown eventually. But I also have a medical problem with my feet and can't do much labor.
I feel useless. I've resorted to trying to do... Less legal things for money... And it's not paying off at all. I'm lazy as fuck, I'm a drug addict, and I don't want to be a leech on my girlfriend.
I just don't want to break her heart. Some of my close friends basically are just waiting for me to be found dead in my room, they make jokes about me being suicidal at this point.
I'm tired of trying and failing. I don't want to do this adult shit. I fucking hate it. I feel like life is a complete scam and most people just end up lucky and have enough reasons to live like their family, children, etc. If I end up catching the bus, tally it up as another casualty of capitalism. I'll try to give it a month or so, but otherwise I'm just finding a nice place to be alone for a while and overdosing.
Thanks for reading.