Had my set up all ready failed to do it!!! 😭😭😭

[Nagoop]

Guys I'm fucking done trying! lol. Like I'm sorry but you either have to be in SO MUCH pain to go through with it or be dead inside and have ZERO fear because I KNEW I was going to pass out the MOMENT I put pressure on my throat!(yeah it's THAT GOOD!). Idk if I should say what my half hanging method was or HOW I did it but ik it worked using Research here and some common sense and thinking skills(hard asf because of a sinus issue I can't get rid of!!! so my brain is mush and I'm VERY STUPID ASF!!! ). But other than that I'm done.

I'm going to go try and go back on Abilify. It was a medicine I used to take when I was a kid but stopped due to health concerns. I'm going back on it and going to try to sort out my mental health. I'll keep you guys updated! Am I looking forward to loosing my creativity and intellectual abilities? HELL NO but at the same time I want to feel happy again and stable so I'd do ANYTHING for that. And tbh if things get even worse I guess I could always count on either eating myself to death or getting SN as I found a source!!! But I'm getting help now! Help and prayers!!!

No more suicide for me! Duck duck fuck that shit!!! I'm getting help now!!!

 

[Hollowman]

Good luck to you.

 

[Nagoop]

Thank you! I am personally VERY TERRIFIED of what the meds will do to my brain as before everything In my life I was super intelligent and very knowledgeable of things and I'm TERRIFIED of meds taking that away from me ESPECIALLY my creativity as then I'll never be able to finish my novel(s) but again I have no choice. It's either suffer mentally and even physically or be mentally stable but lose intelligence and creativity. There is no in between unfortunately… but I could just eat myself to death IF things go horribly wrong ofc! :).

Good luck to you.

 

[jatty]

So relatable!! I go through periods of failing ctb out of fear and then trying to do recovery because i know im too scared currently im doing both which is really weird

 

[MissAbyss]

I wish you all the strength on your road to recovery.

 

[Leonszabs]

Hey, I'm sending you my love and I am hoping that things will work out for you! Feel free to message me anytime

 

[Nagoop]

So relatable!! I go through periods of failing ctb out of fear and then trying to do recovery because i know im too scared currently im doing both which is really weird

Same actually!!! Weird Right?! lol.