Had a nightmare where I CTB'd with a gunshot to my head and was still conscious

[VegasLyra]

The context to my nightmare is weird (you know how dreams are) but apparently I was a korean war criminal (??????? I'm not even asian lol) who shot himself in the mouth, angled to hit the brainstem, to avoid punishment.

There was no pain whatsoever, not even mild discomfort. But I was still conscious. I could see people moving around me, I just couldn't move my eyes to track them. And what woke me up in a sweat was this: I could feel myself needing to breathe, more and more desperately, but I couldn't mechanically breathe.

So yeah I think that method is off limits now. Matter of fact any method that doesn't render me unconscious first is off limits lol

 

[theproblem]

I also dreamt of shooting myself through my temple except I wasn't any special soldier or anything. There was also no pain, just that everything went dark for a moment(which was weird.).

After a second I realized that I woke up again and was really mad at my family about it saying ...why did they let me live?

I woke up crying lol it felt so real even though it made no sense

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

Yeah I don't want to imagine the ways an oxygenated but damaged brain/body might perceive reality when they can cause us so much pain at normal functioning.

Also only slightly related, but I also had a dream once where I was someone else and died. I lived his whole life but fast forwarded in snippets. He lived in the prohibition era and he died at an old age of a heart attack at a mall food court. He was with his wife, but his final thoughts were about his first love from when he was young. The death itself was scary at first but ultimately peaceful.