I've been reading on this site lately A LOT OF US saying the same thing. We understand, rationally, that our lives aren't worth living for us anymore, but we still can't make ourselves take that final step. This is one of the reasons I've come to feel so much resentment towards parents in general. It's not just that they get to make such a huge decision for others--often despite not even being able to care for their own kids well--but then the kids, if they live shitty lives and want to die, are saddled with fears that typically inhibit getting off this planet. That kind of double-hell is, at least to me, unforgivable.