Venting grieving over the suicide of someone i didn't even know, makes me feel like a prolifer

[maidens]

a month or two ago, I found out that someone CTB'd one year and a few months ago, in June 2022. I never met them, only finding out that they existed through one of their animation memes. I watched a few of them, and they really were talented.

they were cyberbullied into it over something they said online in a game. anyone deserves the right to die, and I don't even know if the person was suicidal at all before it, but if they weren't, that just makes it so much worse. iirc, they had just turned 18 before they did it. they livestreamed it, jumping off a building, saying if they survived they'd delete the video.

I only know about all this because of a Twitter thread I read about them. there are no videos about them or anything like that at all. I just feel so terrible that someone really got bullied into it, whether they were suicidal before or not. I believe anyone deserves the right to die, but even so, I wish I was there to at least give them a little hope to live. I don't think I would feel like this if they had gone for any other reason, if they weren't bullied into it online over something stupid they said that wasn't even bad. it probably sounds like i'm making this about myself, I'm so sorry for that

I hope you're at peace now. if there's an afterlife, I hope you're happy in it. I'm glad you can't be in any more pain. please rest well

 

[FuneralCry]

At least that person is now incapable of suffering, they are at peace now, free from this cruel and disgusting world.

 

[リンさん]

Hey. I also still grieve one of the members on SS who has passed recently.

Please don't feel like you're at the wrong for having those feelings. It's normal to feel sad, desperate or angry when experiencing loss.

As long as you stay true to your opinion on having a choice when it comes to suicide, you are not a pro lifer.

 

[tfnb]

Empathy and choice are not mutually exclusive. Don't be hard on yourself. It's natural to feel things for other people, that's how we're wired

 

[nightlygem]

Do not feel too bad. it does not make you pro-life, as the impact they had on you as a person will differ from your own determined death. I've been through the same grief, and I always just remind myself of how they made me feel and use it to imagine how others would feel about my death. It may not work the same in your head, but I believe that many users here can agree that it's just a natural response to finding that out about someone.

 

[Deleted User#81194]

When I was about to graduate high school about a year ago I needed to buy the graduation clothes, but had no one to take me to the store. I was desperate and reached out to random strangers on Facebook in a community groups I was in and posted my address publicly. A few people responded and showed lots of empathy.

20 minutes later, I got into the truck of this old fellow, he was so nice and even looked like Santa Claus, he told me he was 56. On the drive I learned a lot about him. He had been working the same dead end Job since graduating high school at a fast food restaurant, he remembered it like it was yesterday. He always wanted wife and kids but couldn't afford it and was stuck living in an apartment. Everyday he was isolated and didn't interact much with people at his job. He would just go home and watch the news. I felt very sorry how stale his life had become, he had wanted to be a truck driver and passed a few of the tests, but he had some issues with his eyes and couldn't qualify.

A few months ago I learned he shot himself, while I respect his right to death I feel guilty and responsible because I didn't stay in touch with him after he had helped me and showed me so much kindness (tends to be a habit with me, it's why I have no friends today, I don't stay in contact), I was one of the few who he told his story to, but I couldn't even do anything to help him in the end.

 

[pidgey]

It's natural to feel sad and happy for them at the same time. Whenever I hear a news of someone ctb'ing, I feel sad because I can relate to myself and wish they had better options, but also happy that they no longer have to deal with the suffering.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

You're not a pro-lifer for grieving anyone, let alone a fucking teenager. Cyberbulling and harassment are huge problems in our societies right now. There's a whole website (kiwi farms) devoted to it that hasn't for some reason received the kind of negative attention this site has.

 

[suicidepanda]

You're not a pro-lifer for grieving anyone, let alone a fucking teenager. Cyberbulling and harassment are huge problems in our societies right now. There's a whole website (kiwi farms) devoted to it that hasn't for some reason received the kind of negative attention this site has.

Don't even get me started on Kiwifarms. The worst people come from there

 

[TAW122]

I don't consider people who grieve over some else's CTB a pro-lifer. It is a natural and common thing to grieve over loss (including the loss of life). I believe that as long as one respects another's bodily autonomy when it comes to the right to die and CTB, then one is a pro-choicer and not a pro-lifer.

 

[suicidepanda]

a month or two ago, I found out that someone CTB'd one year and a few months ago, in June 2022. I never met them, only finding out that they existed through one of their animation memes. I watched a few of them, and they really were talented.

they were cyberbullied into it over something they said online in a game. anyone deserves the right to die, and I don't even know if the person was suicidal at all before it, but if they weren't, that just makes it so much worse. iirc, they had just turned 18 before they did it. they livestreamed it, jumping off a building, saying if they survived they'd delete the video.

I only know about all this because of a Twitter thread I read about them. there are no videos about them or anything like that at all. I just feel so terrible that someone really got bullied into it, whether they were suicidal before or not. I believe anyone deserves the right to die, but even so, I wish I was there to at least give them a little hope to live. I don't think I would feel like this if they had gone for any other reason, if they weren't bullied into it online over something stupid they said that wasn't even bad. it probably sounds like i'm making this about myself, I'm so sorry for that

I hope you're at peace now. if there's an afterlife, I hope you're happy in it. I'm glad you can't be in any more pain. please rest well

I want you to know that you're not a pro-lifer for feeling this way.

grief and sadness are a natural human reaction to death, especially when you know the motive behind it was cruel and evil. We all know they didn't deserve the pain they had to go through, and the realization that they never have to go through it again is saddening in a happy way. I mean, they're gone. forever. that's something that's totally okay to be sad about. as long as you aren't blaming them for experiencing the pain they did, you're not a pro-lifer. As long as you don't feel they're selfish for trying to fix everything, you're not a pro-lifer. I feel like people use this term very loosely, and that causes others to be afraid of being a pro-lifer under certain circumstances of grieving for someone else's death.

Just note, you're not a bad person because of this either. I would be sad if anyone, let alone a young person, committed.

they escaped. that's something to be happy about, at least. there's no more pain for them.

 

[avaruus]

I've felt grief over people from this forum who CTB'd.
I had only read their threads over a couple of months, and then one day, noticing a 3 week old goodbye thread and boom, my day is ruined.
it's not like i even knew them, they for sure didn't think about me, but i thought about them.
It does feel a little pro-life, but i do understand that death is sometimes the best option and of course i wouldn't want anyone to stay alive & suffer just because it makes me sad that they die.

So i don't think only grieving for someones passing makes you a pro-life, only if you try to prevent it or say that its not okay.

 

[maidens]

correction, it was July 2022, and they turned 18 around 4 months before they did it. their twitter and youtube username was ankishateliar, their art was so beautiful...

thank you to everyone who replied to this, I appreciate what everyone said

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say most people here are pro choice. I think you can still respect a person's choice while feeling personally sad that they felt it was the only choice left to them. I imagine only promortalists see death as being the best solution for absolutely anyone under any circumstances. I don't think it's pro life to think someone might have had a shot at life still. What I'd say would be pro life would be to listen to their arguments and reasoning on why they want out and just reject the lot and tell them they have no right to end it. I imagine most people here would have been compassionate with that poor person. They may have even tried to support them towards ignoring those bullies. That wouldn't necessarily be pro life I think- it's making sure that the person is making the right choice for themselves. Maybe it's more about that for you? That maybe it wasn't exactly their own choice- they got bullied into it maybe?