BlueButterfly111
Autistic and Heartbroken
- Dec 26, 2024
- 141
Here's another post about my dead boyfriend. Before he would come pick me up to see me, he used to say "I hope I can make you happy again." And it just hit me, because I haven't been happy ever since he's been gone. Being with him was like being in Disneyland, my heart is really broken. It's just boring and meaningless living without him now. I felt so happy, in love, I felt like I had something to live for.
I also can't stop thinking about the regrets, they haunt me and I feel guilty and blame myself a lot. I feel like maybe if I would've done more, showed that I cared more, maybe he would still be alive. I feel like it's my fault sometimes. And I keep thinking about the mistakes that I made and regrets.
7 months and I still can't stop thinking about him, and reliving the memories in my head. It's a good thing to relive the memories, but it's also painful to be without him. I know he's still with me, but this still hurts sometimes. I guess it's a good sign that I think of him all the time, maybe that means he'll be waiting for me on the other side when I ctb.
I also can't stop thinking about the regrets, they haunt me and I feel guilty and blame myself a lot. I feel like maybe if I would've done more, showed that I cared more, maybe he would still be alive. I feel like it's my fault sometimes. And I keep thinking about the mistakes that I made and regrets.
7 months and I still can't stop thinking about him, and reliving the memories in my head. It's a good thing to relive the memories, but it's also painful to be without him. I know he's still with me, but this still hurts sometimes. I guess it's a good sign that I think of him all the time, maybe that means he'll be waiting for me on the other side when I ctb.
