Venting Gratitude is overrated, like many other optimistic/positive-thinking advices. Not everybody can do that. It's unrealistic, and honestly full of BS

[niki wonoto]

Gratitude has become today's current hype which everyone seems to be doing, and even keep posting about it constantly on social media. Everywhere you see people always talk about gratitude (& with all other optimistic/positive stuff usually).

It becomes irritating however when gratitude is forced and shoved down our throats, as if everyone should (or must) do that. In reality, you can't just force other people to keep showing gratitude constantly. Things happened, shits happened; problems, pain, & sufferings happen to some people, which is ridiculous then to expect people with all these problems to still "show some gratitude". Some problems are even too big & stressful that it overwhelms the person's life. But how come people still expect them to be "positive/optimistic" or happy? Sorry but that's just ridiculously lacking empathy.

The worst of all however in my opinion is when there are a LOT of people today who keep preaching out that gratitude is the only key for a good life, and that it's necessary for all the good things to happen in your life. It's usually the same people who will keep telling you that when you pray & believe, good things will happen in your life (or some other typical common variations like: "the universe will give blessings if you have positive vibrations" and similar BS like that).

First of all, what about the people who have actually tried all those things before, but still doesn't work? Will people just say that they still lack gratitude, or not believing nor "positive" enough? How dare people assume like that!

Second, and this is what's the most frustrating at least for me personally, is even let's say all those things were true, then all I can really think is how incredibly unfair, cruel, sadistic, & ridiculous this "god" or "universe" is! Even some people are at least still kind/good and merciful, understanding enough to still have some empathy for all those other people who're having problems, pain, & sufferings, to NOT burden them anymore with things like "it's because you're still not being grateful enough, so pls show some gratitude, and good things will come to you!" nonsensical advices. I seriously just can't help to think that if this whole "gratitude" thing were supposedly true/real, then all these "universal law" of "god, karma, universe" or whatever it is, this whole system is not just only ridiculous/stupid, but to be honest, I also think it's seriously evil.

(Sorry if my english is not good, as it's not my first language. I'm from Indonesia).

 

[Zegers]

All that doesnt matter when you realize that nothing makes sense and that life itself is absurd.

 

[Unending]

Your whole post is literally my brain's anthem. Everywhere I go, so frequently when the topic of mental health comes up, it seems like gratitude journaling or something parallel to this is brought up and I just have to force myself to say something along the lines of "Awesome! I've been working on it for some years but will keep going at it," in order to end the conversation as quickly as possible because nothing productive ever happens after gratitude is initially brought up. I swear trying to force gratitude has significantly increased my distress levels in the past. Maybe that should be attributed to being led on that I wasn't trying it hard enough, therefore throwing me into a "Frenzy of positive vibes." Lately, I noticed that I prefer to soak in the negativity and despite the fact that it doesn't make me feel better, I don't currently believe that it's an issue relative to my former forced mindset because atleast it's real! That being said, I obviously still put on the best act I can around people to avoid hurting their feelings or making them hate me. Not sure how effective that's been but oh well. Also, I feel like everytime I've commented on someone's post since I've joined I may or not have been derailing the conversation into too much of my personal experiences. I'm a little anxious about not quite knowing the etiquette on ss yet but oh well..

 

[Someone123]

Gratitude wroks better for someone who has abasically happy loife, where the miain things that make a person happy are iun place. Then it can be a helpful tool and this can even lead to good things like helping others. BUt when your life is really bad it's not going to help.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Think the problem for many of us (not everyone) is that we resent have been given a life to begin with. If you resent and hate the fact you are alive to begin with- you simply aren't going to be grateful for anything that happens as a result of it. Good or bad.

Plus- who exactly are we meant to be grateful to? Our parents? God? Chance? All of which gave us life to begin with... Yeah- thanks but no thanks.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I hate gratitude shills. It's purely subjective and to prescribe gratitude is idiotic. In my experience, grateful people usually have pathetically low standards for what a good life constitutes. They're mostly delusional slaves.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that those types of people are insane. Nobody should have to feel grateful, that is such a ridiculous idea. Having negative feelings towards this life and our situations are perfectly justified, toxic positivity and forced optimism really are annoying to me. Like why should we have to feel grateful. It makes no sense.

We never asked for this life in the first place anyway and so many people in this world are trapped in situations that are largely out of our control. I think that it's better to see life for what it really is, as if people continue to see suffering as always being beneficial for everyone then the option of suicide will remain so stigmatised, and to me it's tragic how we live in such a world where our right to die isn't respected.

 

[DeathBecomesMe_2021]

To me, being told to constantly show gratitude sounds like something that stems from the toxic positive movement. Toxic positivity needs to be flushed from society like the bullshit it is. It lacks compassion and invalidates people's 'negative' experiences.

 

[BipolarExpress]

Those kinds of statements work for people with transient depression that can be handled over time—e.g., a breakup with a casual partner—not for people who find themselves crushed by their feelings. Telling people to focus on the positive or keep a gratitude journal is downright insulting in those cases. (I'm also extremely cynical.)

 

[Rational man]

There's a lot of falsehoods surrounding positive thinking I believe. And of.course, when we don't ' make it ', the sense.of failure ensues. Even people with cancer are often encouraged to be positive and yet many die. These soundbites are useless because the reality of life is one of sufference on many levels. It's okay not to feel grateful because only the individual can feel gratitude for whatever l.