Venting Got Some Methods

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Got a couple of methods, one is a last-resort (huge, razor-sharp knife) and the other a piece of very thin rope. Says it can handle 550lbs, so I guess it can handle full suspension. Just have to tie a slipknot, find a good branch in the woods and use a good knot to secure the rope to the branch. The knife I guess would work since it's huge enough to go through basically my entire neck, but I would need to have a lot of adrenaline from a lot of impending or on-going pain for it to work. Several minutes of the worst pain imaginable in the best case, so I'd rather use the paracord. That would just be ten or twenty seconds of extreme pain. Both will leave me with brain damage if I'm "rescued" so I'd have to be somewhere completely isolated.

Not liking my options at all, I can still try to go with the jump but I haven't found a good way to access 100+m yet. And if I do, I might not feel so bad that I'll be able to kill myself during the short window of time that I'll have on the roof/floor. The knife is the only method that could be used impulsively, but it's a fucking shitty one. I fear that my current situation is basically how bad it's going to get, that I won't feel worse. I'm unemployed, live with parents, virgin, no friends, failed at everything, low self-esteem, mentally ill, etc. I'm not sure that it's very likely that my situation will get worse, so if I can't die now maybe I'll never be able to.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I don't think I could ever try anything that has the potential to disable me for life and things like using a knife or jumping probably require you to be in a extreme emotional state to go through with it. A friend of mine has a family member that tried hanging themselves and they're now paralyzed from the neck down without the ability to end it on their own terms. I'd try to find something reliable and relatively peaceful because if you think your situation is bad now then it can get significantly worse if you're disabled from a failed attempt.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I don't think I could ever try anything that has the potential to disable me for life and things like using a knife or jumping probably require you to be in a extreme emotional state to go through with it. A friend of mine has a family member that tried hanging themselves and they're now paralyzed from the neck down without the ability to end it on their own terms. I'd try to find something reliable and relatively peaceful because if you think your situation is bad now then it can get significantly worse if you're disabled from a failed attempt.

My primary plan is to tank the psych dmg and get a job, move out and find a gf. I'm too weak to accomplish this, most likely, but I'll give it a fourth or fifth go. 100+m onto concrete is a guaranteed death, hanging in a secluded area is at least 90 if the rope isn't lying and I don't fuck up the knots somehow / branch brakes. Thank you for the advice, I agree with you but I can't really acquire any better methods, sadly.