Thanks, yeah I just got word from them that I will be admitted shortly.
Thanks, but I do not regret anything I did. I really wished I got to the euphoric point of it.
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Yeah, it sucks. I've been here for a week now. I think the worst part is that my family doesn't care unless it's something like this, and they keep me here relying on doctors, therapists, and social workers to "fix" me.
Thank you, I think my relationship is a huge thing in the way. Especially since he wasn't there for most of the time when I was at my lowest, and kinda considers all my "usual feelings" as something terrible/greater than what it actually is. I know deep down he cares, but I hate the fact that he compares me to his brother all the time. For context on that; he portrays him as the worst imaginable guy ever and kinda just shames his mentality completely. He always tells me "you're not insane yet, BUT you're doing what my brother is doing prior to him being insane". It kinda feels dehumanizing in a way that makes me feel like "oh yeah I'm not feeling good and that's rlly bad cuz I'm not allowed to feel this way" sorta thing.I hope you're feeling OK. Seeing that you don't regret anything, at least that's one less issue to plague your mind than usual. I truly hope you're not feeling too bad otherwise — and very relieved you aren't a
Love your pfp, but otherwise thank you. I am fine non the less.
I'm trying, but even though I am an adult it's their words over mine.
Walked in on me. Their reasoning was cuz they heard weird sounds, but they walk in and out of my room at any given point they want. It's a common thing.
Yeah, it's hard to do anything. I asked in my past thread how I can do things cuz of my situation.
I don't have doors or locks/barricades. It fucking sucks how open my room is.
I mean I can with overdosing, but I have no idea where to start with that.
Oh yes, your right you can do that. Pretend your going to sleep and noone will know until you don't wake in the morning!
I'm actually the furthest it comes when they sleep or are in bed. My room is in the basement, but I still think oding would be best.
The only overdose I can think off the top of my head that could make you CTB fast enough for your situation is cyanide poisoning.
sanctioned-suicide.net
Thank you, it does sound painful and yeah I've seen how bad it looks. I can look more into the second option, but as of suppression I think they will be super strict about having any materials like that. I could do it out of my house, but again I can't leave unless supervised. They have cameras to see when I go out to smoke, and they limit my use of that as well. It feels like a prison, but I feel like prisons have a better chance of someone successfully cbting than me. I feel like I'm going to give up on this and just live without meaning until I get to a point where I can, OR I can mentally get better.The only overdose I can think off the top of my head that could make you CTB fast enough for your situation is cyanide poisoning.
...I kinda don't like recommending cyanide poisoning because while thankfully it's very fast acting (it'll only take a few mins to CTB), despite what movies lead you to believe, death by cyanide has been actually been described as looking extremely painful (apparently it's been described before as feeling like if your insides are burning). Also worth mentioning if your parents manage to catch you on the act if they bizarrely happen to have one of its various antidotes on hand, as long as you took a fatal dosage of cyanide, chance of being saved is incredibly unlikely.
Sadly I have no idea how to properly get my hands on cyanide. I gave up going the cyanide poisoning route once I found out how painful death by cyanide poisoning can be. I even briefly checked it up on a dark net market out of curiosity and couldn't find any listings, although I was already expecting that because cyanide is a poison, not a drug.
But unfortunately for your situation, it's the only oral overdose that I think would be fast enough for you to get away with. Even death by the highly desired Pentobarbital needs between 1-4 hours to make someone CTB. While there is no true antidote for barbiturates, your parents could still attempt to try to save you with something like Activated Charcoal Powder to try to bind what's left of the barbiturate to itself so it can pass through your system without getting absorbed.
Since you have some experience with hanging, it might be worth reading the topic below for more ideas on how one can hang themselves:
Unusual way of the carotid artery method
Case: A 37-year old male was found dead in his home where he lived alone, with no signs of forced entry to the house. The body was lying supine on the dining table, with the feet hanging free and the head completely resting on the table. A thick, orange-coloured rope was wrapped three times...
