starrchaoz
Another six months, I'll be unknown.
- Nov 24, 2023
- 39
This might end up being long and like, I don't know, edgy sounding? So sorry if that's the case lol.
I wasn't planning on leaving until March 13th, I was going to wait for my brother's birthday to pass before I CTB'd, but after spiraling all day I don't think I can wait that long. It's currently 3 pm here, and I plan on taking my life around 9-10 PM, I'm giving myself now some time to reflect and think if I want to actually leave yet or wait longer.
I'm so ready to go, I'm in so much pain everyday and the world will be so much better without my presence. Everyday I'm in agony, I hate everything about me and I'm a horrible human being, I'm never going to get anywhere in life, death is my only option. Being so close to death is a funny feeling though, my stomach and heart feel so heavy and anxious. I'm ready to go, and I'm ready to be at peace. I'm just scared of the aftermath that my death may bring. It's the whole reason why I'm hesitating. But, I think I'm really ready to go, I really am.
I want to thank this community for being so supportive and a safe space to me. I know I haven't been on this form for super long, but you all have made me feel less lonely, so thank you for that. I'll be active up until probably about 9 pm in my time zone. If I don't go through with my plan, I'll be back, but mods, if I'm not back after 3 days please feel free to cross out my name. Thank you everyone for everything.
I wasn't planning on leaving until March 13th, I was going to wait for my brother's birthday to pass before I CTB'd, but after spiraling all day I don't think I can wait that long. It's currently 3 pm here, and I plan on taking my life around 9-10 PM, I'm giving myself now some time to reflect and think if I want to actually leave yet or wait longer.
I'm so ready to go, I'm in so much pain everyday and the world will be so much better without my presence. Everyday I'm in agony, I hate everything about me and I'm a horrible human being, I'm never going to get anywhere in life, death is my only option. Being so close to death is a funny feeling though, my stomach and heart feel so heavy and anxious. I'm ready to go, and I'm ready to be at peace. I'm just scared of the aftermath that my death may bring. It's the whole reason why I'm hesitating. But, I think I'm really ready to go, I really am.
I want to thank this community for being so supportive and a safe space to me. I know I haven't been on this form for super long, but you all have made me feel less lonely, so thank you for that. I'll be active up until probably about 9 pm in my time zone. If I don't go through with my plan, I'll be back, but mods, if I'm not back after 3 days please feel free to cross out my name. Thank you everyone for everything.
farewell! 
