Goodbye

[Eschaton]

Hello,
I have only been here a short time, and in that time I have experienced a lot of compassion and understanding from many.
I have decided that I would no longer like to face the life ahead of me. I have a great future if I wanted to seize it, I am in a doctoral psychology program, I help people every day. Despite this, the future is hollow as a result of my own actions and the regrets that I hold. Regrets that I know I will have every single day. I have a pretty heavy trauma background, and at best I never feel quite 100 percent human.
So, this is my goodbye thread. Thank you to SS and everyone.
Fasted for 15 hours. No water today
4:30 took 800 mg paracetamol and 50 mg meclizine
Will make SN doses soon and take 1 mg benzo with 10 mg ambien
Will keep updated

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I guess it sounds like you've thought things through, as to what is best for you. Remember you can always change your mind if it just doesn't feel right to you - no shame in that. If you go through with it, I wish you the best and that you may find the peace you seek.

 

[Letgo]

I am sorry it has come to this. May you find peace and rest. Thinking of you.

 

[howl pendragon]

Wish you peace!

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed.

 

[GasMonkey]

See you on the Other Side.

 

[Stormy Raine]

It hurts to read threads like this because I understand how lonely you must feel during this time, I'm sorry life has bought you to this point. I hope you have an easy journey slipping away. I wish I could leave with you. See you soon

 

[Eschaton]

Slight delay because I was enjoying the calm that was brought about by my first time on benzos. Mixing my SN now

 

[Dead Meat]

Wishing you @Eschaton a very pleasant and comfortable journey and may you have everlasting peace and tranquility you Beautiful Soul

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Wishing you peace and freedom from this horrible world.

 

[sadsadsack]

peace and love

 

[_smile_]

Rest easy beautiful soul. Hoping you find peace

 

[Lilythefenfen]

Find peace. You're through the mist of pain that this world has forced you to go through and it has lifted at last. Rest easy you beautiful soul. You are loved and cherished. You are home.

 

[Shivali]

 

[quietly_gone]

Fellow psychologist here. I understand your pain. I hope you go peacefully. Thank you for all the people you've helped.

 

[SVEN]

So glad you found friendship and support on SanSu, I hope your journey is easy, restful and you sleep in peace and rest at last.

 

[StolenLife]

Goodbye. I hope that your journey is as painless and peaceful as possible.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

I hope you are completely sure about this , because there is no turning back , if you regret what you are doing go immediately to the hospital. Even though you feel like you want to ky right now you might not actually want to and deep down you might want to experience the life you always dreamt to, a quote that i love is: "if you are going through hell,keep going. Why would you stop in hell? "
But of course my last message for you is, it's your life live as you please.

i see you are new here, in future i would advise not posting something like this in a goodbye thread. these threads are for people who have already decided and are in the process of cbt and is just them saying goodbye. it is quite disrespectful to say things like this in a thread like this.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

Slight delay because I was enjoying the calm that was brought about by my first time on benzos. Mixing my SN now

Shit man Im sorry for the trauma that you have gone through. What happend to lead you to this point? Are you absolutely sure you want this? Have you tried therapy or medication at all before? Not trying to stop you just making sure you have exhausted all options because this decision will be irreversible, so be very careful with what you choose
If you do decide to drink it, I wish you safe travels and hope its peaceful. Because sometimes, its sadly not ):

 

[cherrysquick]

i'm so sorry for everything you went through, must've been really tough judging from the way you described your potential future :( hope you're at peace now, rest well friend

 

[mitsuko.055]

i see you are new here, in future i would advise not posting something like this in a goodbye thread. these threads are for people who have already decided and are in the process of cbt and is just them saying goodbye. it is quite disrespectful to say things like this in a thread like this.

Ohh i get it , i am sorry about it ig, i just had a friend who told me that he regretted trying it so i felt like saying it + another person here said that they didn't actually wanted to do it so that's why i wrote it but after all it's their life so they can do what they want

 

[Marcus Wright]

Even though you feel like you want to ky right now you might not actually want to and deep down you might want to experience the life you always dreamt to

I'm sure you mean well, but don't you think this is a bit subjective and invalidating to OP's certainty about their decisions for their own life?
I can see that this is not a impulsive action since they've already fasted for nearly a day (which would have deterred most hasty decision-making) and taken pills to prep for sn after that, so why inject your own assumptions about how they could regret it because somehow deep down they might want to live?

 

[mitsuko.055]

I'm sure you mean well, but don't you think this is a bit subjective and invalidating to OP's certainty about their decisions for their own life?
I can see that this is not a impulsive action since they've already fasted for nearly a day (which would have deterred most hasty decision-making) and taken pills to prep for sn after that, so why inject your own assumptions about how they could regret it because somehow deep down they might want to live?

I deleted i forgot to do it before, i am really sorry i didn't mean smth bad , ofc i didn't meant impulsive it's just my English isn't good so i didn't know a bette word also i had a friend of mine who told me how he regret doing i didn't want the same thing to happen to another person so yeah that's why i said it

 

[Bleedingheartbeat]

This is my first time being a part of someone's goodbye thread and it's so hard. Obviously it's hard to see you go, but I understand why. Just know that you're not alone in this moment.. we're here to virtually hold your hand as you pass over to the other side. I'm proud of you for the strength you've shown for many years and for the silent battles you've fought. We'll definitely miss you in this fight for survival. Rest well my friend, you deserve it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell, I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering that existing brings.

 

[Linda]

I may be too late for you to receive this, but I hope you have a peaceful journey to whatever comes next.

 

[Valky]

I remember having talked to you before! :)

I am really sorry that this world could not keep you safe.

Whatever decision you make, it is valid and we will be here for you.

I wish you all the best and safe travels <3

 

[numbnesshuman]

Peace and hope your journey is easy

 

[Jezzibell]

You are not alone as you face your final moments. We are here in solidarity and support. God speed. I hope everything is as painless as possible. Xx

 

[flapjax]

I hope you find peace.