Freedom Believer
Forever alone.
- Dec 23, 2019
- 351
Maybe this attempt will be more successful. Still going to use the "night-night" method, but instead of tape, I'm using a ratchet which should make things easier for tightening and loosening (if I fail again). Replaced bags with socks with bottle caps at the ends to make things more comfortable. I know the method isn't the best for some, but I can find the "sweet spot" easily. With luck I can pass out and die in peace.
For those who've seen my previous posts this probably is like a broken record reading this. But it gives me validation that this attempt might work.
I wish my life wasn't like this. I wish I wasn't what I am now. I was spoiled and selfish and how am I going to repay them for all of their kindness?
Getting rid of the problem.
No more spending money on me. No more expectations. No more disappointment. Most importantly, no more of me in their lives. If they ever find out what I've said and posted online; they'll see all the hatred and disgusting things I'm into. The real me.
All I wanted out of life was to find someone who loved me for who I was and start a family of my own. I dreamed of that since I was a kid. But I expected it to be handed to me on a silver platter. I never got involved in activities, sports, clubs, anything. I isolated myself and here I am, attempting to end my life with no friends, wife, or anyone around to say goodbye. My Dad always begged for me to find something to do other than sit on the computer and I ignored his advice. As much as my Dad knows little about how things work today, he was always right about one thing. Online people can never replicate real friends.
Except for you people.
You make me feel like I have friends. That warm figure to cling to when everything seems lost. I wish I found you guys sooner so I could've been there to help others to make up for all the times I've been selfish, lazy, and greedy for the past years. At least I can say I survived for the new year! Maybe I can start over in the afterlife, if I get a chance to. If not, I can remove my terrible existence off this Earth.
I'll finish this long post with a tune I love. Back when I was little; back when I was still pure and happy. I thought it was beautiful in-game, but I thought it would sound even better on a music box. Keep everything close to you, because I never did. I'll still be here for a while, but then if things feel right, I will leave you. Thank you for everything. I will watch you from above (if I deserve a chance), if not, then I hope all of you find happiness on this Earth that is filled with hate.
Until next time.
For those who've seen my previous posts this probably is like a broken record reading this. But it gives me validation that this attempt might work.
I wish my life wasn't like this. I wish I wasn't what I am now. I was spoiled and selfish and how am I going to repay them for all of their kindness?
Getting rid of the problem.
No more spending money on me. No more expectations. No more disappointment. Most importantly, no more of me in their lives. If they ever find out what I've said and posted online; they'll see all the hatred and disgusting things I'm into. The real me.
All I wanted out of life was to find someone who loved me for who I was and start a family of my own. I dreamed of that since I was a kid. But I expected it to be handed to me on a silver platter. I never got involved in activities, sports, clubs, anything. I isolated myself and here I am, attempting to end my life with no friends, wife, or anyone around to say goodbye. My Dad always begged for me to find something to do other than sit on the computer and I ignored his advice. As much as my Dad knows little about how things work today, he was always right about one thing. Online people can never replicate real friends.
Except for you people.
You make me feel like I have friends. That warm figure to cling to when everything seems lost. I wish I found you guys sooner so I could've been there to help others to make up for all the times I've been selfish, lazy, and greedy for the past years. At least I can say I survived for the new year! Maybe I can start over in the afterlife, if I get a chance to. If not, I can remove my terrible existence off this Earth.
I'll finish this long post with a tune I love. Back when I was little; back when I was still pure and happy. I thought it was beautiful in-game, but I thought it would sound even better on a music box. Keep everything close to you, because I never did. I'll still be here for a while, but then if things feel right, I will leave you. Thank you for everything. I will watch you from above (if I deserve a chance), if not, then I hope all of you find happiness on this Earth that is filled with hate.
Until next time.
