Good reddit thread showing that "not everyone WANTS to get better"

[TAW122]

Here is a good thread post on Reddit by the user u/OreosAndDreams which shows that he/she doesn't want to get better.

We've all heard the expression "ignorance is bliss." Well, I worry that the converse is also true: "Bliss is ignorance."
People look at those with depression as pessimists. People who aren't thinking clearly. Mentally ill outcasts to society.
But what if we are the ones who are actually thinking clearly. The ones who see the big picture. Realists, not pessimists.
That is what I fear. That I am thinking clearly right now, and that is why I feel so terrible. And that if I ever feel good, I'm not thinking clearly, or I am lying to myself.
If ignorance is bliss, knowledge is a living hell. Jeez I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm crazy. Please tell me I'm wrong.

So the gist of this is to show that just because something "can" be done, does not mean it "should" be done. Is said person capable of getting better? For all intents and purposes, let's suppose yes, but perhaps the effort and investment needed to make it happen is too steep and not worth the trouble according to said person. The problem with how society and most people think is that assumption or presumption that people 'WANT' to get better, regardless of circumstances, which is far from the truth. Now back to the person's thread. I believe said person's quotes and assessment of life in it's totality as well as society itself is spot on. Perhaps it is society and the system which is mentally ill and corrupt and in an effort to enforce conformity, it deems anyone not fitting the mold (the mold of the majority) is considered ill, diseased, wrong, and needs to be fixed. So until society and people acknowledge that there are some people who simply are tired of life and don't wish to continue a meaningless and/or torturous existence, even if things can get better, it is not always WORTH it (worth is subjective again because what may be worthwhile to one may not be to another, vice versa).

 

[I’mDone]

Here is a good thread post on Reddit by the user u/OreosAndDreams which shows that he/she doesn't want to get better.



So the gist of this is to show that just because something "can" be done, does not mean it "should" be done. Is said person capable of getting better? For all intents and purposes, let's suppose yes, but perhaps the effort and investment needed to make it happen is too steep and not worth the trouble according to said person. The problem with how society and most people think is that assumption or presumption that people 'WANT' to get better, regardless of circumstances, which is far from the truth. Now back to the person's thread. I believe said person's quotes and assessment of life in it's totality as well as society itself is spot on. Perhaps it is society and the system which is mentally ill and corrupt and in an effort to enforce conformity, it deems anyone not fitting the mold (the mold of the majority) is considered ill, diseased, wrong, and needs to be fixed. So until society and people acknowledge that there are some people who simply are tired of life and don't wish to continue a meaningless and/or torturous existence, even if things can get better, it is not always WORTH it (worth is subjective again because what may be worthwhile to one may not be to another, vice versa).

Amen! A fucking MEN!!!

This is the argument I have had with my therapist and my siblings and my significant other. I'm tired. Fed up. I have spent my entire life - literally as long as I can remember - suffering from depression. I've put so much emotional and mental effort, not to mention money, into "getting better".

I'm now at the point where you could offer me every joy that the world has to offer but I don't want it. I want out. Simple as that. Can things get better? Probably. Am I OBLIGED to make them better? NO. My choice and I choose not to.

 

[Shinbu]

I don't understand why some expect all to live no matter what. I see that as disturbing. You can't fix all problems, and that's what society have trouble with.

 

[KleinerWolf]

The moment a person's announced brain-dead,
he is no more.
No more enjoyable things nor suffering.

Unless you believe in afterlife or reincarnation,
this life is all you got,

When things are bad, you then have the decision to make:
Do I want to try fix it?
Do I tell life to fuck off because I'm fed up?

No one can answer that for the individual involved.
It doesn't matter where others stand on the "right-to-suicide" spectrum.

We can deny medication/counselling/pro-lifer advice,
no one can enforce intervention on us if we don't want to.

The decision is ours.
So take the time to actually think about it what you want.
Not just how bad it was in the past, or how much suffering you are in right now,

Think about what you actually want.
CTB should be last-resort for everyone, given you dont have any other means.
How do you know that?
Look within. Ask yourself.


(My own perspective only.)

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

My brain is very conflicting. I want to get better but I am afraid of getting better. Each time I get better, I lose something good in my life so it feels like what is the point in trying. The only thing to make things better is death but that is the choice that everyone has such prejudice against. It's a never ending battle of wanting to get better - To scared to get better - what's the point in getting better - suicide attempt and repeat.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

My brain is very conflicting. I want to get better but I am afraid of getting better. Each time I get better, I lose something good in my life so it feels like what is the point in trying. The only thing to make things better is death but that is the choice that everyone has such prejudice against. It's a never ending battle of wanting to get better - To scared to get better - what's the point in getting better - suicide attempt and repeat.

I find I'm the same way though I blame myself, or the faulty wiring I was born with, or the effects of an asshole degenerate father. I've had happiness but I'm always paranoid or 'life' gets in the way. I'm a spiritual person but I don't believe in shame for suicide. Maybe there is a purpose here but it's hanging by a thread.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I find I'm the same way though I blame myself, or the faulty wiring I was born with, or the effects of an asshole degenerate father. I've had happiness but I'm always paranoid or 'life' gets in the way. I'm a spiritual person but I don't believe in shame for suicide. Maybe there is a purpose here but it's hanging by a thread.

Same here, I have a douchbag of a father. I'm a spiritual person in the sense that I believe in the afterlife. There is no shame in suicide however I can be angry about it or feel betrayed. That's from my own experience of losing my carer/ bestfriend to suicide just as I was starting to try to recover and it completely took everything away. I'm sorry you blame yourself as well - I can really understand that.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

Same here, I have a douchbag of a father. I'm a spiritual person in the sense that I believe in the afterlife. There is no shame in suicide however I can be angry about it or feel betrayed. That's from my own experience of losing my carer/ bestfriend to suicide just as I was starting to try to recover and it completely took everything away. I'm sorry you blame yourself as well - I can really understand that.

Blaming myself to some degree I've understood it to be a defense mechanism. I can't be abused by others if I abuse myself. Even when I'm in the wrong. I'm often deathly afraid of even doing minor infractions. I'm my dads bastard and I'm genetically linked to such a waste of oxygen. I've been abused by caretakers as a kid and told I would go nowhere, I was a late bloomer who dropped out of UNI. I'm only alive because my mother needs half of my SSI for rent. My mother and I are distant at times but I'm the only child of hers in the same area. She was wronged by my father worse than I was.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I find I'm the same way though I blame myself, or the faulty wiring I was born with, or the effects of an asshole degenerate father. I've had happiness but I'm always paranoid or 'life' gets in the way. I'm a spiritual person but I don't believe in shame for suicide. Maybe there is a purpose here but it's hanging by a thread.

I'm all for religions,
but what troubles me is that,
I know god will never torture us since we are good souls.

Believing religions are valid is essentially believing
you deserve to be punished.

To me, that is something I can never make sense of and never will.
But people are entitled to their opinions as far as religions are concerned.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I'm all for religions,
but what troubles me is that,
I know god will never torture us since we are good souls.

Believing religions are valid is essentially believing
you deserve to be punished.

To me, that is something I can never make sense of and never will.
But people are entitled to their opinions as far as religions are concerned.

I'm not religious but I believe in afterlife. Maybe that makes me weird lol

 

[KleinerWolf]

Blaming myself to some degree I've understood it to be a defense mechanism. I can't be abused by others if I abuse myself. Even when I'm in the wrong. I'm often deathly afraid of even doing minor infractions. I'm my dads bastard and I'm genetically linked to such a waste of oxygen. I've been abused by caretakers as a kid and told I would go nowhere, I was a late bloomer who dropped out of UNI. I'm only alive because my mother needs half of my SSI for rent. My mother and I are distant at times but I'm the only child of hers in the same area. She was wronged by my father worse than I was.

Sorry to hear that you have an abusive father.
I hope over the long run, perhaps oneday you will be able to recognise where the damage came from.
I agree with you that you abuse yourself as a coping mechanism
but I think you have been through a lot of hardship already,
and perhaps it would be a good time now that you start trying ways to show yourself the self-respect and love that you deserve.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

I'm all for religions,
but what troubles me is that,
I know god will never torture us since we are good souls.

Believing religions are valid is essentially believing
you deserve to be punished.

To me, that is something I can never make sense of and never will.
But people are entitled to their opinions as far as religions are concerned.

I'm not religious either. Religion and spirituality are as related as schooling and education. Schooling can often be piss poor and fail the students. It may be a gateway to spirituality but it can be a last stop before a person turns around.

 

[kinzokukae]

thank you for this. i constantly feel like i'm the only depressed person that doesn't want to recover. i don't see a point in it - i'm not scared of death, and i don't look forward to anything, so why should i keep living if i don't want to?

something related that really pisses me off is the lack of access to euthanasia. not everyone that wants to die wants it to be painful, or their own fault. why should euthanasia have so many rules regarding it, and only be available in certain countries? society pretends to care about how high suicide rates are, and yet when presented with an opportunity to make the process easier for others (which also allows some people to reconsider if it's their best option), they do nothing?

anyway. again, thanks for this. i really didn't think i was going to see so many people also not wanting recovery. i just want to die, not get better. it's not worth it.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

Sorry to hear that you have an abusive father.
I hope over the long run, perhaps oneday you will be able to recognise where the damage came from.
I agree with you that you abuse yourself as a coping mechanism
but I think you have been through a lot of hardship already,
and that perhaps it's time you start trying ways to show yourself the self-respect and love that you deserve.

It's a long road and I've had to learn a lot about myself and about people in general. In one way just joining and being open about my suicidality feels like I'm taking some power back. Where I am owed nothing I owe nothing in return and I don't see that changing unless I have kids someday. Suicide isn't a threat but a kind of balancer of power.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I'm not religious but I believe in afterlife. Maybe that makes me weird lol

Have you heard of law of attraction?
The related concepts states that there is afterlife because everything is powered by energy including humans.
The concept states that human consciousness exceed beyond death and return to a source energy, and eventually into another existence in the vast universe.

I'm too much a believer of human evolutions so I don't believe in the above concepts anymore.
but it is a possible concept to explain the idea of afterlife.

There's a documentary called "the secret"
you can look it up on Youtube.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

Have you heard of law of attraction?
The related concepts states that there is afterlife because everything is powered by energy including humans.
The concept states that human consciousness exceed beyond death and return to a source energy, and eventually into another existence in the vast universe.

I'm too much a believer of human evolutions so I don't believe in the above concepts anymore.
but it is a possible concept to explain the idea of afterlife.

There's a documentary called "the secret"
you can look it up on Youtube.

I don't think evolution and the law of attraction are mutually exclusive. Humanity is just another vast scope of many vast scopes. Beyond our physical bodies are astral ones which hold more of our true selves than the physical. I believe this 'life' and what the 'afterlife' actually is are concurrent phenomena. There are many different possible experiences of the afterlife all of which take place in 'the astral' at some point. Where your afterlife takes you depends on where you believe you will go until/unless you contact a benevolent higher being of some sort. It's a dream until you become lucid.

 

[NekoNomNom]

I've had this conversation with a few people recently. I know that I could get better, even without help (therapy, etc.), however, I do not wish to get better. Getting help is only effective if the individual wishes to get well. It would only be a waste of time, money, and resources that would otherwise benefit somebody else.

I've recently gone through a horrendous breakup, which was my fault. I've been trying so hard to reconcile with my ex, so far to no avail. Therefore, I have just been a hopeless wreck. I know that sounds silly, or even trivial, but with everything else I have gone through in my life, this event was the final nail in the coffin for me. Especially since it was my fault. It's hard to live with it. But I've told all of them, I know I can get better if we can reconcile. Sadly, it doesn't look like that will happen...

 

[SpareWheel]

I've had this discussion with my GP endless times. He does the standard thing of giving me helpline numbers or offering to send me for counselling, it just won't get into his head that I don't want to be talked out of anything, nor could I be. There's nothing a psychologist or counseller could do to help me.

My problems are 20 years in the making, kick after kick, tragic events followed by others, they aren't ever going away. It's impossible for some people to understand that yes, you would actually be better off out of this world, they'll give you the same mumbo jumbo about life getting better, your time will come etc - but if you've been waiting for that your whole adult life, who are they trying to fool, you or themselves?

 

[KleinerWolf]

It's a long road and I've had to learn a lot about myself and about people in general. In one way just joining and being open about my suicidality feels like I'm taking some power back. Where I am owed nothing I owe nothing in return and I don't see that changing unless I have kids someday. Suicide isn't a threat but a kind of balancer of power.

It's a comfort knowing you can give your kids more than your parents give you.

I can relate. My parents are not abusive but apart from my other issues, my parents are just plain cold, what I call neglect.
They live in a million miles away, only offer me next to minimum financial support, but they put no effort in my early childhood/young adulthood development. They just don't have the know-how. As expected, they don't understand why I'm suicidal and in a nutshell, completely useless it's actually kinda ironic.

It helped me figure out i can only count on myself.
No one can help me but myself.
It's a hurtful truth but I love myself too much.

It's good to talk about stuff on here. Certainly helps to feel connected.
Best wishes to you brother. Take care of yourself.

I don't think evolution and the law of attraction are mutually exclusive. Humanity is just another vast scope of many vast scopes. Beyond our physical bodies are astral ones which hold more of our true selves than the physical. I believe this 'life' and what the 'afterlife' actually is are concurrent phenomena. There are many different possible experiences of the afterlife all of which take place in 'the astral' at some point. Where your afterlife takes you depends on where you believe you will go until/unless you contact a benevolent higher being of some sort. It's a dream until you become lucid.

Are you suggesting all lives exist in multi-dimensions and that the idea of previous lives is non-existent/ irrelevant?
what do you make of the purpose for being on earth?
and what is the point of astral plane, the whole waiting thing after we die if we already exist in multi-dimensons?

Keen to dig into this.
Let me know what you think :D

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I've been thinking the exact same way as OreosAndDreams for quite a long time, which is that we who are depressed see the world as it really is, but the optimistic people are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses and only seeing what they want to see, so they treat us like we are sick because we don't see things the way they do. As for getting better, there are days when I feel like I want to, but I don't think that it can be done. The world would have to be fixed first before I can get better at all.

If it was the case that the world was all sunshine and rainbows, but all I ever saw were thunderstorms and tornadoes, then I definitely would want to get better. I would want to see the world as it is in that sort of scenario. Unfortunately, the world is NOT sunshine and rainbows. In reality, it is a world full of cancer, viruses, chronic pain, natural disasters, cruelty, greed, and all sorts of other horrible things. In a world like the one that we have, I definitely don't want to get better (whatever better means - the word is subjective anyway), I just want to leave it when the pro-lifers in my life die of natural causes. They are the only thing getting in the way because I don't want to hurt them.

I would agree that "bliss is ignorance" is quite a true statement. The only way I could see myself getting better without getting on the bus would be to live under a rock and be stoned out of my mind 24/7, all year long until I die in my sleep some day. I would be ignorant of everything and always feel at peace by keeping myself drugged up all the time. Once the buzz went away and I crawled out from under my rock, I would feel like a groundhog looking for his shadow in the middle of a blizzard. My reaction would be "Fuck that! Bring me the pipe NOW!"

If it was possible to stop natural disasters from happening, cure every single illness that everyone could possibly have, and remove all of the dishonest, manipulative assholes that are in the world, THEN it would be possible for me to get better since there won't be anything that could get in the way of my progress. With all of the things that could get in the way, it seems like a waste to even put in the effort. It would be like trying to rebuild a house after it gets destroyed by a tornado every spring. It isn't worth it, in that case.

I believe said person's quotes and assessment of life in it's totality as well as society itself is spot on. Perhaps it is society and the system which is mentally ill and corrupt and in an effort to enforce conformity, it deems anyone not fitting the mold (the mold of the majority) is considered ill, diseased, wrong, and needs to be fixed.

I think I'mDone put it perfectly:

Amen! A fucking MEN!!!

Society wants us to be a slave to the government and be happy about it. They want us to be glad that we are alive, even if we end up in constant pain or become paralyzed. They want to lock us in a cage and drug us if we even mention the idea of not wanting to be alive in this world. Fuck them and their society. That is all I have to say about that.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Amen! A fucking MEN!!!

This is the argument I have had with my therapist and my siblings and my significant other. I'm tired. Fed up. I have spent my entire life - literally as long as I can remember - suffering from depression. I've put so much emotional and mental effort, not to mention money, into "getting better".

I'm now at the point where you could offer me every joy that the world has to offer but I don't want it. I want out. Simple as that. Can things get better? Probably. Am I OBLIGED to make them better? NO. My choice and I choose not to.

I hear you. I feel the same. I'm out of gas and have entered fuck it mode. For me AGE has a lot to do with it..In my 20's I was eager to get better..... trying all sorts of shit.. but now at 40? Not even worth it since I wanted kids and family.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

Are you suggesting all lives exist in multi-dimensions and that the idea of previous lives is non-existent/ irrelevant?
what do you make of the purpose for being on earth?
and what is the point of astral plane, the whole waiting thing after we die if we already exist in multi-dimensons?

Keen to dig into this.
Let me know what you think :D

Did you edit this part in? I'm sorry I missed this earlier if not.

I don't think past/previous lives are irrelevant. On some level time itself might be irrelevant. But for our purposes now I don't believe it is. The most simplistic way of describing things is like there are several video games you play within a video game which itself may be in a video game. Though each 'game' has some gravity of its own.
There's a common belief that there are different parts of us acting semi-independently and in different places. This physical existence (the ones most of us here want out of) is a cog in a larger machine that is a higher order being (kind of like that forest of trees that is actually just one organism) this can be traced back up to even higher orders

 

[codewarrior]

You can never have the entire population agreeing to a single conscious.
In my opinion, What really matters is dignity while living or preferring to die and you calculate dignity by your own measure or reasons around it as sufferings are personal.

For example, I would honor dignity in dying when someone fails on health (be it physical or mental and prolonged illness that affects one ability) and one is completely aware of his actions.

 

[TimeLawyer]

I agree with this 100%. There is a lot of pressure to recover in our society. People, even in mental illness communities, talk about recovery as if it is a moral imperative. It's become about more than just the well-being of the person who wants to recover, the idea being that if you don't adapt to the way most people live, think, act and relate to each other, they might not like you because you can't "speak their language" in terms of viewing the world more positively than it is. If they feel that the way someone lives their life is wrong, even if that is just a subjective opinion, they feel the need to "call it out" as morally wrong and demand that the person change or go to therapy to get help with doing so, so that they don't offend anyone in society or cause natural human conflict because of their differences. But I wonder why we can't just accept people who believe or live differently than us and work things out like adults. There is room in the world for all different races, genders, sexual/romantic orientations and hundreds of different religions. Why can't there be room for "Mad" people too?

 

[Talokin]

I hear you. I feel the same. I'm out of gas and have entered fuck it mode. For me AGE has a lot to do with it..In my 20's I was eager to get better..... trying all sorts of shit.. but now at 40? Not even worth it since I wanted kids and family.

Ugh. I could have written that word for word (except I'm now 41).

I spent most of the winter laying on my couch under my cat's tiny blanket, too "whatever" to grab the larger blanket in my closet.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Ugh. I could have written that word for word (except I'm now 41).

I spent most of the winter laying on my couch under my cat's tiny blanket, too "whatever" to grab the larger blanket in my closet.

I love your description of being to blah to even get a blanket..... Im there too------ It seems to take all my energy to get all my affairs in order to CTB.

 

[Pan]

Being depressed/anxious all my life, made me realize that "recovery" takes the time and effort that, in my 60s, I simply no longer have. At least for me, hope and happiness are for suckers.

 

[patheticpartner]

"Euthanasia for existential suffering" is part of the title of an article I came across when looking up "euthanasia for non-terminally ill." I think existential suffering isn't necessarily a mental illness, and I'd even wager that most people experience it to a degree at some point in life, and that maybe the poster is as well, but I guess some people usually end up succumbing to the blissful ignorance or becoming content with living an ultimately purposeless and pointless life.