Help Going via SN - the slow way?

[flipflop486]

Hi all, new member, long time lurker. Long story short, and without giving any details that would lead to my identity, my wife committed suicide with a knife several months ago. My life is objectively over, and I'm planning on going out via SN. Attached image specifically.
I've been contemplating ctb for a while, and have decided - no changing my mind, it cannot improve for a ton of very serious reasons.

The question I have is - or rather, the scenario - If i dump a lowish (5g) dose into a glass of ice water or beer and suck that down every hour until mission complete, will that (1) work and (2) cause less or more discomfort?

Or is that too low of a dose to guarantee success?

I live completely on my own, and do not expect visitors of any kind for days on end.

Thank you,
Flop

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Why don't you want to follow the established protocol? You've done research on SN, right?

 

[flipflop486]

Why don't you want to follow the established protocol? You've done research on SN, right?

Yes, lots and lots actually. Reason is, because I feel like I want to just "fade" from the world, rather than disappear. The desire is to sit at my computer, reading, watching youtube and playing my game, drinking my drinks, and eventually just - stop. That seems more peaceful and "me" than sitting on the couch with intent. Does that make sense?

I know that one of the big side-effects is nausea and vomiting, and I'm not a stranger at all to stomach issues. I've got an iron stomach for the most part. I apparently have 3 pounds of the stuff, if the vendor sent actual SN, so there's plenty of retries available.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Some dental assistant swallowed 1 gram of SN by accident and died. I've read various medical write ups saying lethality is 2-2.6 grams. A few people have died from "testing" their SN at lower doses not intending to ctb. I've also wondered if a slow drip approach to SN would work, sort of like arsenic poisoning but I don't know.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Yes, lots and lots actually. Reason is, because I feel like I want to just "fade" from the world, rather than disappear. The desire is to sit at my computer, reading, watching youtube and playing my game, drinking my drinks, and eventually just - stop. That seems more peaceful and "me" than sitting on the couch with intent. Does that make sense?

I know that one of the big side-effects is nausea and vomiting, and I'm not a stranger at all to stomach issues. I've got an iron stomach for the most part. I apparently have 3 pounds of the stuff, if the vendor sent actual SN, so there's plenty of retries available.

I don't think it's a good idea. You're likely to just pass out and wake up feeling like shit, if you even get enough SN in you. Drinking that much liquid, especially alcohol, is just gonna make you vomit much sooner, no matter how "iron" you think your stomach is; not even D2 antagonist antiemetics can stop you from vomiting (which is the recommended type, in order to speed up gastric emptying).

I know you want to go out a specific way, but if you're looking to "fade from the world", you'd be better off with a different method. 15-20 minutes before unconsciousness is already pretty much slowly fading from the world, considering guns and jumping are instant, inert gas is a few seconds, hanging is under 20 seconds, CO in a minute or two. Plus, while SN is relatively peaceful, it's certainly not "enjoy yourself" peaceful where you kick back and ride it out having a good time, even in a small dose.

I would strongly advise against this idea. This is not a good plan, and I do question whether you actually did your research (not to offend or attack you, so don't take it that way).

 

[flipflop486]

I don't think it's a good idea. You're likely to just pass out and wake up feeling like shit, if you even get enough SN in you. Drinking that much liquid, especially alcohol, is just gonna make you vomit much sooner, no matter how "iron" you think your stomach is; not even D2 antagonist antiemetics can stop you from vomiting (which is the recommended type, in order to speed up gastric emptying).

I know you want to go out a specific way, but if you're looking to "fade from the world", you'd be better off with a different method. 15-20 minutes before unconsciousness is already pretty much slowly fading from the world, considering guns and jumping are instant, inert gas is a few seconds, hanging is under 20 seconds, CO in a minute or two. Plus, while SN is relatively peaceful, it's certainly not "enjoy yourself" peaceful where you kick back and ride it out having a good time, even in a small dose.

I would strongly advise against this idea. This is not a good plan, and I do question whether you actually did your research (not to offend or attack you, so don't take it that way).

That is an absolutely fair assessment, and specifically the reason I made the post. There isn't any research that I can find with regard to a "slow drip" approach. So - message received! I'll alter my plan. Thank you :)

 

[ladylazarus4]

I don't think anyone's tried it. I think it's a good idea to change your plan. Lessen the uncertainty, you know?

 

[flipflop486]

I don't think anyone's tried it. I think it's a good idea to change your plan. Lessen the uncertainty, you know?

Ehhhhhh, I've always been a risk taker. LOL

 

[LunarLight]

That's not how it works. There is a protocol for a reason.
You need to ingest a huge dose of SN because you'll very likely throw up (even with antiemetics like a D2 dopamine antagonist such as metoclopramide) and so you need to have enough SN left in your body to kill you nonetheless.
Sipping alcohol along with SN is a very bad idea for two reasons. 1) alcohol makes you nauseous by itself ; 2) the more liquid you have in your stomach, the more you're likely to throw up. That's why SN needs to be dissolved in as little water as one can (25g in 50mL).

And, long story short, ingesting less SN than recommended won't make you fade more peacefully into oblivion. FWIW, it will take a longer time to pass out; you may even not pass out at a all, and thus feel all the more the uncomfortable side effects of SN. And I don't even talk about lethality - not following the protocol is a pure recipe for failure.

 

[flipflop486]

That's not how it works. There is a protocol for a reason.
You need to ingest a huge dose of SN because you'll very likely throw up (even with antiemetics like a D2 dopamine antagonist such as metoclopramide) and so you need to have enough SN left in your body to kill you nonetheless.
Sipping alcohol along with SN is a very bad idea for two reasons. 1) alcohol makes you nauseous by itself ; 2) the more liquid you have in your stomach, the more you're likely to throw up. That's why SN needs to be dissolved in as little water as one can (25g in 50mL).

And, long story short, ingesting less SN than recommended won't make you fade more peacefully into oblivion. FWIW, it will take a longer time to pass out; you may even not pass out at a all, and thus feel all the more the uncomfortable side effects of SN. And I don't even talk about lethality - not following the protocol is a pure recipe for failure.

Fair nuff. Definitely going to nix that plan.
How do people get into the mindset of "ok, that's enough - time to go"? Like, cognitively, I know I can go at any time. And my time in general is running out. But every time I get ready, my mind always goes to "meh, tomorrow". But I'm running out of tomorrows.

edit: for those wondering or concerned - I am terminally ill and have no future quality of life at this stage.

 

[flipflop486]

Think I'm going to catch the bus tonight. I think I'm ready. standingfast, we'll know if that packet that we both got is right, if I'm not here tomorrow.

 

[heavyeyes]

Think I'm going to catch the bus tonight. I think I'm ready. standingfast, we'll know if that packet that we both got is right, if I'm not here tomorrow.

Goodluck. I hope you find your peace I'm sorry your illness robbed you of your life

 

[flipflop486]

Goodluck. I hope you find your peace I'm sorry your illness robbed you of your life

Thing is, the illness isn't even the reason. My wife could have helped me through anything. It was us against the world. But her brain was broken and she went. She's been my person for over a decade. She was the only one that ever, EVER understood me, and vice-versa. I constructed my life around her for a decade. And without her, it's just too hard. By itself. And then there's the other issues. And the health issues. It's just fucking too much.