Venting Going To Try To CTB Soon

[EnvyTangerine]

I have failed so many times and I'm so tired. I'm adding something to what I was doing before. Making preparations while typing this. Again I don't know how well it's going to go but wish me luck!

Edit: I have everything I need. I hope this is the last time I'll see you all. I'm really looking forward to this.

 

[memories.of.abuse]

Good luck and I hope you find peace <3

 

[EnvyTangerine]

Thanks! About to go now.

 

[Sulyya]

Sparing a thought that whatever happens you will find wellness, wherever.

 

[Asphyxiater]

Good luck

 

[GasMonkey]

What's your method?

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it sounds really horrific failing ctb so I understand why you would feel relieved at having everything that you need to leave this world. I believe that in a world as cruel as this death can certainly be the only true relief, I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom that you are looking for.

 

[Viranamari]

It's nice that you have all the required ingredients. I do hope that it's reliable and that you don't fail. You may be very relieved that you finally have a method and are confident in it. I wish you the best.

 

[EnvyTangerine]

Still not dead. I ended up going to hospital in an ambulance but they let me go after 7 hours.

 

[EnvyTangerine]

I am so tired. I failed to CTB again, and this time ended up going into the hospital. Despite my multiple attempts, somehow I'm physically fine according to them. I just wish it was easier to escape my suffering. At this point I'm getting tired of trying to die, because obviously I'm doing a terrible job at doing even the slightest bit of physical damage. The only damage I've done is similar sensations to those I went through in my CTB attempts just from thinking about CTB, and the psychological damage of repeatedly failing. Just so tired.

 

[RedKingdom]

What method did you attempt?

 

[EnvyTangerine]

What method did you attempt?

Strangulation then drowning

 

[kernel_panic]

Strangulation then drowning

How exactly are you doing the strangulation part?

 

[Asphyxiater]

Strangulation then drowning

Were you rescued?

 

[EnvyTangerine]

How exactly are you doing the strangulation part?

Extension cord

Were you rescued?

I gave up because nothing much was happening and I got bored. I called an ambulance afterwards to make sure I hadn't fucked up my body too badly. Turns out I didn't.

 

[kernel_panic]

Extension cord

This isn't going to work. Once you pass out, you won't be able to maintain pressure on the carotid arteries and you will wake up about after half a second.

 

[Asphyxiater]

Extension cord


I gave up because nothing much was happening and I got bored. I called an ambulance afterwards to make sure I hadn't fucked up my body too badly. Turns out I didn't.

What did you do wrong? Was your attempt severe that you had to get checked in the hospital?

 

[EnvyTangerine]

This isn't going to work. Once you pass out, you won't be able to maintain pressure on the carotid arteries and you will wake up about after half a second.

I realise that now. I didn't pass out at all and I was literally just there with an extension cord around my neck for idk how long, but it did nothing other than make me feel pressure in my head and some discomfort in my neck.

What did you do wrong? Was your attempt severe that you had to get checked in the hospital?

Probably a bunch of things, including stopping because it was taking too long and I got bored. I was literally not going to do anything but then I stupidly decided to call myself an ambulance. They didn't keep me overnight, they just stuck a cannula in my arm, took it out, and made me talk to a psychiatrist who stopped me midway through talking about why I wanted to die to tell me I shouldn't just see the bad things that people have done to me. Eventually they gave me a flyer and said I could leave.