shiny_quill
Member
- Jun 21, 2023
- 23
I have an exam normally taking place at the time this is being posted. I've failed this class (pedology) 5 times already, and this is my last chance because, the way college works in my country is that it's super easy to get in, the government pays for most fees so education is affordable, however for the government to keep paying your scholar fees, you need to fit certain criterias, which are currently being changed over and over so no one is too sure what those criterias are anymore, but from my understanding, you need to pass all your first year classes in 2 years or less, and this is my second year.
I'm not sure this makes sense to anyone but me, and I don't think it needs to, but the point is: if I fail a single class, I can't afford my studies anymore, and they happen to be the only studies in my country that get me the diploma needed to get my dream job. I've spent my life dreaming about working with animals, and come so close (I even checked in some second year classes!) and now I'm going to fail over pedology. I don't know what to live for if I can't work this job, I've been wanting it since I was 8, that's most of my life spent dreaming about it, working, overcoming all obstacles just for that one dream, and now that it's within grip, I'm about to lose it, and I feel so childish for wanting to die over this, but I'm in pain all the time, physically and psychologically, and now I won't even be able to get a job I like and I really don't want to wake up everyday, be in pain, go to a job I don't enjoy, come back home and feel miserable about myself, the opportunities I had and the dream I lost, it sounds like torture, but I don't have other choices. We don't really have student loans here, and I could try to ask the school to cover my fees (they do that for a bunch of students each year, but it's rare) but I'm likely going to get rejected so I don't really have any choice and I'm just dreading this exam. I had a fucking 9/20 twice and I still can't pass this class, I'm so tired
I'm not sure this makes sense to anyone but me, and I don't think it needs to, but the point is: if I fail a single class, I can't afford my studies anymore, and they happen to be the only studies in my country that get me the diploma needed to get my dream job. I've spent my life dreaming about working with animals, and come so close (I even checked in some second year classes!) and now I'm going to fail over pedology. I don't know what to live for if I can't work this job, I've been wanting it since I was 8, that's most of my life spent dreaming about it, working, overcoming all obstacles just for that one dream, and now that it's within grip, I'm about to lose it, and I feel so childish for wanting to die over this, but I'm in pain all the time, physically and psychologically, and now I won't even be able to get a job I like and I really don't want to wake up everyday, be in pain, go to a job I don't enjoy, come back home and feel miserable about myself, the opportunities I had and the dream I lost, it sounds like torture, but I don't have other choices. We don't really have student loans here, and I could try to ask the school to cover my fees (they do that for a bunch of students each year, but it's rare) but I'm likely going to get rejected so I don't really have any choice and I'm just dreading this exam. I had a fucking 9/20 twice and I still can't pass this class, I'm so tired
