I am still interested, I apologize. You didn't say anything wrong. I'm just not sure of the when yet. Do you have a rough idea? Where do you stand on N? I've been considering it recently. I just received my Employment Insurance, lol.....
Can't believe I'm on disability for mental illness at the ripe age of 24. How fucked up is that. My life was fucking beautiful and then all of a sudden: a psychotic episode! I had an episode that lasted weeks. I literally went psycho. I was not conscious and I don't remember the horrific damage I caused. I just don't remember destroying my body and my home. I don't remember antagonizing my friends and family. I had everything going for me. And everything was taken from me by a sudden brain disease. I'm devastated by tremendous material and immaterial loss alike. Disassociation, loss of identity, loss of personality. I'm in a continuous state of shock, I am living a nightmare now, feeling like a caged animal trapped in a dark basement in a shitty suburb, isolated, stunned, in shock, in disbelief, in denial, in insanity, in devastation and shame and confusion, memory loss and brain damage...I didn't just lose my city of Toronto, my dogs and cats, my home (I had my own apartment in Toronto), my job, my school, my friends...I also lost my sanity, and humanity. There's so much more but I've also lost my writing and speaking skills. I can't express myself today like I once could have. English was my #1 childhood passion and I can barely shit out a sentence now. Feels like I've lost my intelligence, literally everything I am is erased and I'm left here confused, empty, soulless, spineless, alone and alien...and confined. Dead. I can't enjoy my favorite music or movies or games anymore because it's triggering.
How in the fuck could I have seen that coming. This life is just cruel. You're life could be going perfect and then one day disease lands on your doorstep and destroys your world, inside out.
Wow, really sorry for the rant. I started typing and I couldn't stop.
