Гууу
Member
- Apr 9, 2020
- 33
Hello forum. Waiting for post shipment of SN. Gladly, here, in Ukraine, it's amazingly cheap (3$/1kilo). The only thing worries me - i nearly permanent got stomach reflux in my mouth back after having food. Gonna use cyclamate/sacharine tabs as part of solution to make taste less salty, also got some honey there. As helpers i'll have Gidazepam, Metoclopramide and Ibuprofen. To get Antacid will not a problem for me, i guess.
I tried to hangout, around 30 or 40 times, idk. The main problem is there are only doorway could be used as good support. I got 184 cm height, and the flats here are not so high enough to. So i couldn't use whole my weight to hang me up and get black-outed. And even trying to have more pressure on my neck moving left and right and infront had no effort, just blood pressure in my face or temple. The reason of failing that i just got bored or tired with my legs of that uncomfortable pose after 1min having that fun.
I also tried get asphyxiated with plastic bag and spray can of butane, it's sort of famous method to have accidental SS in post-USSR and often posted in some obituary death news. I developed skills till my can of butane ran out. The additives in butane and CO2 panic going faster than blackout and narcotic effect. To have a tank of N2 and mask is a bit expensive and problematic to hide it. So i read about SN and think, that's a best solution nowadays.
Also i had OD medicine attempt: I tried to use Gidazepam, Cidre (hardest alcohol my body could have), Phenobarbital syrup, Diphenhydramine, MgSO4 and Lidocaine as injections in sum. I felt sleep after that full violent attempt to stop heart with that sum of medicine and woke up next day, alive and near to ok.
The reasons - personal poverty, complete lose of confidence, concentration and fun to do anything, lack of ambitions and fails in that, i had. My friends already heard about my suicidal ambitions, or had attempts themselves - they'll not judge me. The least person of family, my mom, also had similar thoughts and opportunities, but she keeps herself here for me, struggling in nonsense and shitty job, while i couldn't afford myself any in case of circumstances, of my personal skills, character, body and mental health. Still i don't think my life was maximum miserable, except, idk, last 2 years. Just tired being useless and cold-mindly see no possibilities having live apart of suffering and deteriorate. I don't encourage anyone to go my way, the life of me gone as complete nonsense paradox. Cheers.
I tried to hangout, around 30 or 40 times, idk. The main problem is there are only doorway could be used as good support. I got 184 cm height, and the flats here are not so high enough to. So i couldn't use whole my weight to hang me up and get black-outed. And even trying to have more pressure on my neck moving left and right and infront had no effort, just blood pressure in my face or temple. The reason of failing that i just got bored or tired with my legs of that uncomfortable pose after 1min having that fun.
I also tried get asphyxiated with plastic bag and spray can of butane, it's sort of famous method to have accidental SS in post-USSR and often posted in some obituary death news. I developed skills till my can of butane ran out. The additives in butane and CO2 panic going faster than blackout and narcotic effect. To have a tank of N2 and mask is a bit expensive and problematic to hide it. So i read about SN and think, that's a best solution nowadays.
Also i had OD medicine attempt: I tried to use Gidazepam, Cidre (hardest alcohol my body could have), Phenobarbital syrup, Diphenhydramine, MgSO4 and Lidocaine as injections in sum. I felt sleep after that full violent attempt to stop heart with that sum of medicine and woke up next day, alive and near to ok.
The reasons - personal poverty, complete lose of confidence, concentration and fun to do anything, lack of ambitions and fails in that, i had. My friends already heard about my suicidal ambitions, or had attempts themselves - they'll not judge me. The least person of family, my mom, also had similar thoughts and opportunities, but she keeps herself here for me, struggling in nonsense and shitty job, while i couldn't afford myself any in case of circumstances, of my personal skills, character, body and mental health. Still i don't think my life was maximum miserable, except, idk, last 2 years. Just tired being useless and cold-mindly see no possibilities having live apart of suffering and deteriorate. I don't encourage anyone to go my way, the life of me gone as complete nonsense paradox. Cheers.
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