Venting Going through life alone isn't worth it.

[seewell]

I feel so pathetic feeling this way, but I just can't keep going on with life alone like this. I "need" someone I can be completely open with, someone who can support me when the big-d kicks in, someone who makes me smile. It's just way too much to ask of anyone, I guess. Or maybe something is just horribly wrong with me and I repel any potential person like that.
I feel like for the past year I have been lying to myself, telling myself that I can find someone again. Maybe I can just take care of myself like an adult. Maybe I don't need that other person in my life. But, I'm giving up. I'm not trying to be better anymore. I'm done with it. I hate feeling this way, but I never want to be here again. I can't be this alone.

 

[damaged_soul]

I agree. After being abused, I realized the only way to keep myself safe is to be alone. Going through life alone isn't worth it though, so it's better to just not exist at all

 

[seewell]

I'm sorry you had to experience something like that.

At this point I would gladly accept a pretty unhealthy relationship if it meant I wasn't alone. Not that any of my previous relationships or even friendships were too healthy. My fault, of course.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I feel so pathetic feeling this way, but I just can't keep going on with life alone like this. I "need" someone I can be completely open with, someone who can support me when the big-d kicks in, someone who makes me smile. It's just way too much to ask of anyone, I guess. Or maybe something is just horribly wrong with me and I repel any potential person like that.
I feel like for the past year I have been lying to myself, telling myself that I can find someone again. Maybe I can just take care of myself like an adult. Maybe I don't need that other person in my life. But, I'm giving up. I'm not trying to be better anymore. I'm done with it. I hate feeling this way, but I never want to be here again. I can't be this alone.

Apart from my 11yrs in the Army, l've been on my own since 1992, l'm more grateful to the 2 rescue Staffies l gave myself to for the wonderful 23yrs they were a part of my existence than l could ever verbally express, now l've turned 50 l know my best is behind me and l am eagerly waiting to Die, Have you ever considered getting yourself a Doggy Friend? Being alone has it's moments but mainly it Suck's the big one, Hugs to You Dude

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally see it as being better to be alone but I know that for many people loneliness can be painful. After all, life is both cruel and disappointing and I understand that it can be dreadful having to endure a life that you hate which is just constant suffering. I wish you the best.

 

[outrider567]

I feel so pathetic feeling this way, but I just can't keep going on with life alone like this. I "need" someone I can be completely open with, someone who can support me when the big-d kicks in, someone who makes me smile. It's just way too much to ask of anyone, I guess. Or maybe something is just horribly wrong with me and I repel any potential person like that.
I feel like for the past year I have been lying to myself, telling myself that I can find someone again. Maybe I can just take care of myself like an adult. Maybe I don't need that other person in my life. But, I'm giving up. I'm not trying to be better anymore. I'm done with it. I hate feeling this way, but I never want to be here again. I can't be this alone.

Been alone since 1/24/22 and its still an endless nightmare

 

[makethepainstop]

Been alone since 1/24/22 and its still an endless nightmare

How very true, life as loner is very painful, for me as well. I have been alone for way too long.

 

[Felix007]

Same here, best period in my life was my relationship, since then life has just gone downhill..

 

[squidhead]

Hard agree.
I dont want to make it a contest, I understand most people have rough periods in which they feel lonely to a degree and thats valid, but some people have only ever known loneliness and the longer it goes for the more debilitating it becomes.
First of all, most people cant comprehend "true" loneliness and isolation.
They simply cant, they cant understand it nor are they willing to try. Truly having no one and possibly never having had anyone whatsoever. It breaks a person mentally, its long term torture.
Plus, in my opinion, very few people can actually live on their own and be content with that. Even less are able to thrive on that. And again, I mean truly on their own with no contact from anyone else.
Its really hard to wrap your head around something like extreme loneliness and isolation for the average person.
Plus its a loop that is nigh impossible to break once its had enough time to set in. Youre lonely because you dont interact with people so you get used to being on your own. The longer it goes for the more it disrupts your mind, you become incapable of relating to people, talking to people, being social, having any sort of conversation and so youre trapped in this nightmare. You become a mindless zombie.
You then, most likely, become distrustful of people, bitter, have this negative demeanour that further repels people and works against you too.
Most people were losing their minds from a few weeks of isolation when the pandemic started and... we still were able to interact with family, friends and so on. This alone tells me all I need to know about common platitudes being handed to lonely people.
As most things, loneliness has various degrees and a few unfortunate souls are on the extreme side of the spectrum for their entire lives.
Having someone, anyone there for you, supporting you, being able to share things with is a massive boost that most people take for granted and dont value enough.

 

[Fktw0rld]

It's difficult. I actually feel the opposite. I've had years of loneliness and am currently surrounded by friends and in a relationship. I find myself looking for loneliness and isolation now. I do my best alone. I pull myself out of depression better than anyone else, willing to try, can. Being surrounded by people can feel lonely as well. But it's a different kind of lonely feeling. It's a more painful and depressing one. I'm over 40 so I've had my share of rollercoaster rides through no one around me lonely and surrounded by people in my life lonely. I choose no one around me lonely. It's much more peaceful and easier.

 

[gomenasai]

I understand loneliness is hard for most of people, as we are social animals and generally don't feel fulfilled if we're not sharing our lives with someone else. You're not pathetic for feeling this way. I hope you can find peace.

 

[Felix007]

Hard agree.
I dont want to make it a contest, I understand most people have rough periods in which they feel lonely to a degree and thats valid, but some people have only ever known loneliness and the longer it goes for the more debilitating it becomes.
First of all, most people cant comprehend "true" loneliness and isolation.
They simply cant, they cant understand it nor are they willing to try. Truly having no one and possibly never having had anyone whatsoever. It breaks a person mentally, its long term torture.
Plus, in my opinion, very few people can actually live on their own and be content with that. Even less are able to thrive on that. And again, I mean truly on their own with no contact from anyone else.
Its really hard to wrap your head around something like extreme loneliness and isolation for the average person.
Plus its a loop that is nigh impossible to break once its had enough time to set in. Youre lonely because you dont interact with people so you get used to being on your own. The longer it goes for the more it disrupts your mind, you become incapable of relating to people, talking to people, being social, having any sort of conversation and so youre trapped in this nightmare. You become a mindless zombie.
You then, most likely, become distrustful of people, bitter, have this negative demeanour that further repels people and works against you too.
Most people were losing their minds from a few weeks of isolation when the pandemic started and... we still were able to interact with family, friends and so on. This alone tells me all I need to know about common platitudes being handed to lonely people.
As most things, loneliness has various degrees and a few unfortunate souls are on the extreme side of the spectrum for their entire lives.
Having someone, anyone there for you, supporting you, being able to share things with is a massive boost that most people take for granted and dont value enough.

Very accurate description of how loneliness has affected me. I have noted myself turning bitter, resenting other people and their happiness and just in general becoming unhappy with my life and the world we live in..
the problem with loneliness is also that its really stigmatized in our society. If you have diabetes, take insulin. If you have no friends, you are seen as weird and its a red flag for people..
And then keep in mind that loneliness (according to who) is deadlier than obesity or smoking… really fucked up.

 

[LittleBlackCat]

It's like the loneliness is killing me.

 

[seewell]

It's like the loneliness is killing me.

I just wish it would hurry up.

 

[SarRy]

The need for unconditional support is common. I guess most normal people get that early in life and learn to love themselves without relying on that support from others. It's somewhat what therapy is for. Professional help can offer that unconditional support that so many of us need. It might not be perfect, but it can be worth trying if you can.

 

[seewell]

The need for unconditional support is common. I guess most normal people get that early in life and learn to love themselves without relying on that support from others. It's somewhat what therapy is for. Professional help can offer that unconditional support that so many of us need. It might not be perfect, but it can be worth trying if you can.

Yeah, I am fortunate to have a therapist who, in the very least, understands that I just need someone I can say whatever to and not feel like a fucking loser or weirdo for saying it. I am starting to think a lot more people are just delusional, or maybe just completely unaware of themselves. There is no fucking way everyone who isn't actively suicidal is just "happy"

 

[SarRy]

Yeah, I am fortunate to have a therapist who, in the very least, understands that I just need someone I can say whatever to and not feel like a fucking loser or weirdo for saying it. I am starting to think a lot more people are just delusional, or maybe just completely unaware of themselves. There is no fucking way everyone who isn't actively suicidal is just "happy"

Well, there have been studies about the biases that "normal" brains have. It seems a lot of them are to protect the ego and self esteem. Normal people tend to think of themselves as inherently good, better than average, capable, and they generally have an optimistic outlook. Obviously, they can't always be right or accurate, but it serves to keep them happy. There's not much to say if it works. At some point, it's odd to think that something that doesn't seem rational could be right, but it works in practice. Good for them I guess, but I find it hard because trying to get better for me doesn't include taking on irrational beliefs. I can't reason my way to happiness if happiness is delusional. I can't convince myself of delusional thought if I know it's delusional. So, maybe just focusing on the positives is as close as I'll ever get to recovery. I fear it won't be enough, but I'm going to try.

 

[seewell]

Well, there have been studies about the biases that "normal" brains have. It seems a lot of them are to protect the ego and self esteem. Normal people tend to think of themselves as inherently good, better than average, capable, and they generally have an optimistic outlook. Obviously, they can't always be right or accurate, but it serves to keep them happy. There's not much to say if it works. At some point, it's odd to think that something that doesn't seem rational could be right, but it works in practice. Good for them I guess, but I find it hard because trying to get better for me doesn't include taking on irrational beliefs. I can't reason my way to happiness if happiness is delusional. I can't convince myself of delusional thought if I know it's delusional. So, maybe just focusing on the positives is as close as I'll ever get to recovery. I fear it won't be enough, but I'm going to try.

I feel this same way. It is really hard for me to accept irrational things. I know that makes me arrogant to some extent, how do I really know these things are irrational? Do I know everything? absolutely not. But if I can reason away thoughts that would otherwise calm me, it's going to happen. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one living in reality.

I wish you the best in whichever path you choose @SarRy