Venting god is not there

[baller]

god is not there for us and if he is, i hate him.

A month ago, my friend told me she almost got in a car crash because her mother fainted

Less than a month ago, they found cancer in my best friend's mother.

Less than two weeks ago, there was some priest who like, has god speak words for him and they said her mother's name (a rare one might i add) in a section specifically for cancer patients.

Less than a day ago, me and my best friend were telling each other how we think of the other as family. I told her that I almost always accidentally call her my sister.

less than 12 hours ago she asked our professor for an extension on her assignment because of her mum.

less than an hour ago her mother died.

She was so fucking faithful. She believed god would save her, believed the fucking priest, believed in god in general. She was so devoted to her faith despite her country not accepting it. She went to church every sunday, prayer groups, prayed every night. My best friend is the kindest fucking person in the world and god does this to her.

She asked me to go to her prayer group, pray for her mother and despite me being always on the fence about my religion (raised catholic to idfk rn) I did of course.

I did some tarot, just trying to ask what to do and if i could get any advice or guidance. I got the death card several times. I remember pulling it from the deck, seeing it every time I split it. I thought optimistically, i interpreted it in the way of like, new beginnings.

Its not fair. Her grandparents have now lost both of their children, her father has to support both my best friend and her little brother (WHO IS STILL IN FUCKING PRIMARY.)

It's not fair, I get to hug my mum and have her comfort me when i'm a horrible shit head who only thinka sbout myself and doesn't believe in god. She is faithful and always thinks about others and she won't get to hug her ever again.

I don't know what to fucking do. I feel selfish for making this about me and I want to be there for her so badly but i just got diagnosed with adhd, and all of my pills make me a shortfuzed shithead, not to mention I still have my plan to ctb in 5 years and my best friend told me she doesn't know what she'd do without me.

I've constantly been on the fence about my faith but i feel this is just a true act of god not caring.

If there is absolutely any advice, any fucking readings about the death card thing, any story you can share, anything i can do for my friend, please do

 

[Mirrory Me]

Sorry to hear that. How did she get cancer? It must have being severe issues since it acted so quick.

There is always this dilemma is god real, it's so mysterious.

 

[Darkover]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's completely understandable to feel angry, lost, and heartbroken, especially when someone so faithful and kind suffers such a tragic loss. Life feels unbearably cruel when someone who has done everything "right" in terms of faith and devotion faces such a heartbreaking outcome. The pain you're feeling for your friend and the helplessness of not knowing how to be there for her is valid

About the Death Card: In tarot, the Death card doesn't always signify a literal death; it often represents transformation, endings, and new beginnings, which can be incredibly hard to grasp when it shows up around such painful circumstances. It's a card that tells of inevitable change, which might have felt like a warning you didn't want to believe. It's okay to have hoped for a positive interpretation—it's a normal part of trying to find hope in the face of uncertainty.

 

[baller]

Sorry to hear that. How did she get cancer? It must have being severe issues since it acted so quick.

There is always this dilemma is god real, it's so mysterious.

I honestly have no clue. They found it doing a procedure but i don't think they got to find the source

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's completely understandable to feel angry, lost, and heartbroken, especially when someone so faithful and kind suffers such a tragic loss. Life feels unbearably cruel when someone who has done everything "right" in terms of faith and devotion faces such a heartbreaking outcome. The pain you're feeling for your friend and the helplessness of not knowing how to be there for her is valid

About the Death Card: In tarot, the Death card doesn't always signify a literal death; it often represents transformation, endings, and new beginnings, which can be incredibly hard to grasp when it shows up around such painful circumstances. It's a card that tells of inevitable change, which might have felt like a warning you didn't want to believe. It's okay to have hoped for a positive interpretation—it's a normal part of trying to find hope in the face of uncertainty.

Thank you so much means the world to me. I really have no idea what the future is holding rn but i'd really like to think the transformation part is true

Thanks so much

 

[kyhoti]

I hear you. May you find wisdom, understanding and most especially peace on your journey. Be still, ask the question and listen intently and intentionally for an answer.