This is all very interesting (
) but I know there is
something that has come along suddenly and helped me when literally all was lost. It's happened at least a couple of times. I know it came from outside, like a hand reaching down out of the clouds to pull me through.
And I know when I meditate there is this big impassive eye that looks back at me. No emotion or expression in that eye but its not me. It's someone or something else. God? My soul? Both? I think it's sort of "the real me", which is apart from
my every day existence and just watches the show. And it is separate from me. It's not involved in any of this that goes on in what we think of as "life". It's just there watching.
So if you want to say God is bad, or God is this way or that way, tell it to that big internal eye that is watching all this impassively. I don't know that it cares about any of this mess. But once in a great while you may find some help out of nowhere.