porfin1234

porfin1234

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
476
Hi all
Posting this to see if anyone else wants to use thread for accountability on setting some goals for this weekend.

I am going to a festival I went to last year which I'm tempted to not go to because it brings back memories of things I miss terribly .. but decided to set some goals and just go:

- people ask how I'm doing and say good / great even if I'm not
- only share authentically during authentic relating games , however do not share any plans to CTB
- even if I want to hide in my hotel room... force myself to go out to dance parties
- don't take illegal drugs from strangers
- don't sleep with anyone
- be that wild fun loving girl but don't do anything too risky
I have been extremely tempted to be totally self destructive and have to be careful at this festival ...

anyone else wanna set goals and we check in? Even if it's as simple as take a shower haha
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
Good luck and have an amazing weekend! Let us know how it goes :heart: my goal for the weekend is to still be alive on Monday.
 
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porfin1234

porfin1234

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
476
Good luck and have an amazing weekend! Let us know how it goes :heart: my goal for the weekend is to still be alive on Monday.

Thank you, BPD Barbie! I hope you have a good weekend as well and I see you back on Monday :)
 
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randomz

randomz

Specialist
Nov 4, 2019
395
Have fun at the festival. My plan is to go on a little roadtrip with some friends to a yu-gi-oh club in the neighbouring city and buy some cards/play/ generally have fun while not thinking of anything else. Another goal is to watch the recent Terminator movie that came out.
 
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porfin1234

porfin1234

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
476
Great.. all I can think about is how I went off my path and fucked the trajectory of my life.. I keep hearing in my head "die" and I don't belong.. over and over... Die.. die...

Interspersed with amazing moments of connection through dance.

But the voice keeps telling me to die.

This May be the last festival after all.
 
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C

CookieBandit

Member
Jan 6, 2020
12
Sounds like a good plan to me. "don't take illegal drugs from strangers" is a really good advice, not just for this weekend, but in general.
Sorry to hear about the voice, that must be really hard. :(

Edit:
my plan for the weekend: clean my flat
 
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SlackJim

SlackJim

Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost
Sep 30, 2019
226
I'm curious as to your fist goal, why not be honest? without disclosing any ctb plans I have found it very beneficial to say when I'm not feeling great. Especially at a festival I would imagine people would be supportive. It can be as simple as "how are you doing", "not the best right now to be honest, have been struggling a lot recently". You will find many people in this world will understand at least to some degree, a lot of people are hurting right now in the world, being open with those around you can be a great way to feel connected.
 
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Thereisnothing

Thereisnothing

Enlightened
Jan 4, 2020
1,604
Good idea this goal thread. My goal for weekend is just to get through each minute, health v bad so stuck in bed which makes matters worse.
 
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randomz

randomz

Specialist
Nov 4, 2019
395
Great.. all I can think about is how I went off my path and fucked the trajectory of my life.. I keep hearing in my head "die" and I don't belong.. over and over... Die.. die...

Interspersed with amazing moments of connection through dance.

But the voice keeps telling me to die.

This May be the last festival after all.

You can silence that voice, I am sure. Just have fun at the festival now :)
 
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decafcoffee

decafcoffee

Member
Nov 15, 2019
85
dont sit around like i did today. i need to be active and i know better. fuck it, just do it.

dont linger on tasks, be efficient and quick so the fucking dread doesnt seep in too much lmao.
 
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porfin1234

porfin1234

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
476
I have skipped on workshops and ended up telling a friend about shitty year. Oh well.
But at least have danced and hope to dance tonight. And I haven't done anything terribly self destructive other than mope some.

Hope you all manage to accomplish your goals.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
I'd like to shave and cut my finger nails.
 
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B

brokenengine

Member
Dec 18, 2019
25
I don't know what else I'm going to do tomorrow, but I'm at least going to shower and make my hair look nice (and go to church with my parents, bleh)
 
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porfin1234

porfin1234

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
476
Well.. I skipped a few of the workshops but managed to dance every night and met some cool people. Didn't do anything self destructive. A lot of the time I had extremely high suicidal ideation thinking about what I have waiting for me at home etc but oh well. I know I won't get to do this again and can't pursue the things I had planned the last time I came to this because of terrible choices I made this year. I enjoyed as much as I could.
 
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Rhyme

Rhyme

Sleep now and carry on into the black of the night
Jan 18, 2020
41
I just finished my goals and then some... YAY !
Nice! Always great when you get even more done than you planned.

Well.. I skipped a few of the workshops but managed to dance every night and met some cool people. Didn't do anything self destructive. A lot of the time I had extremely high suicidal ideation thinking about what I have waiting for me at home etc but oh well. I know I won't get to do this again and can't pursue the things I had planned the last time I came to this because of terrible choices I made this year. I enjoyed as much as I could.
Sweet. Can't blame you for skipping a few workshops. I pretty much never accomplished all my plans on trips even when I was feeling 100%. Overall sounds like you did great. I don't have the knowledge or self-confidence when it comes to dancing so it always impresses me when other people do it.
 
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C

CookieBandit

Member
Jan 6, 2020
12
I'd like to shave and cut my finger nails.

While first reading I was asking myself how to shave one's fingernails... :wink:

I have proudly accomplished about 80% of my plan (cleaning the flat). There is still something to do, but the worst is done.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I'm doing alright, developing a small app to use with some friends.... this week i want the functionality working, I'm almost there
I'd like to get a kiss from the girl I'm dating, are we dating?, is she conscious of what we are doing? She kisses me, and yet she says she's not in it for the kicks, but she wants something real, I'm I lucky?
Got to return to the gym, I've lost weight...
Be thankful.. and responsible
 
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