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Go back in time or cease to exist
Thread starterWkoncuodejde
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I would go back in time 100%. I have made so many mistakes with my relationship which is the only reason I'm suicidal. She left me because I kept fucking up over and over again. I wish I just got therapy alongside being with her so we could progress and be happy together. I have ruined my own life and would give absolutely anything to be able to go back in time and fix my mistakes. Literally anything.
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divinemistress87, Wkoncuodejde and Adûnâi
If I had to choose, go back in time and change nothing. It made me what I am today, and showed me what I wish for. Even if it's hell again, ceasing to exist would take away all my hopes and dreams which I might be able to get after my death. I wouldn't exist so there wouldn't be a chance. But that would be torture rather than a wish to repeat all of this...
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TragedyBornCrimson, badandsmall, divinemistress87 and 2 others
My mother wanted an abortion when she was pregnant with me and my father forced her not to do it, violating her bodily autonomy. I wasn't meant to be born. My mother deserved a future without me.
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divinemistress87, _Gollum_, Wkoncuodejde and 2 others
Plot twist - go to a celestial existence which is much nicer than earthly, but still relevant politically and ideologically. Kind of like an archangel.
Regarding time - I'm a hopeless historian, so I never would think of my own life, but the past of civilisations, such as visiting Germany before 1945... Something Savitri Devi never did, and it's as distant now as the Aztecs.
But I never did any mistakes in my life. Or I never lived in the first place. That said, I'd love to experience anew my childhood, I remember it as radiant and brilliant. But then again, any beginning is. Only later greater knowledge and context ruins the picture - see Eliade's painting room impressions.
Cease to exist. Now that I have a little understanding of what life is about, I don't think it's worth it. There are experiences that absolutely destroyed me that I don't want to relive.
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ijustwishtodie, Wanted Opioid, LastLoveSong and 3 others
Being able to erase my existence is all I personally hope for, in fact it's all I've ever wished for, I want it to be like I never suffered at all in this cruel, futile existence, under no circumstances would I wish to suffer in this existence I always saw as a terrible, tragic mistake. Non-existence truly is all that's desirable for me, being able to erase my existence would solve everything for me as after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way, there's no suffering in non-existence, it'd bring me so much peace to never suffer ever again.
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ijustwishtodie, Wanted Opioid, LifeQuitter and 4 others
but sadly time travel is impossible. My only option is to kill myself asap. but it's risky. they made me being able to hire someone to assist me with my suicide a crime. so i have to take the risk of brain damage to kill myself because of those monsters making that a crime.
100% time travel. I've actually believed for a long time that I'll wake up at an earlier point in my life of my choice with all of my memories of the previous life. I know what to do to avoid going down this road again.
Cease to exist, I'm not sure why I'd hope to change things in an attempt to alleviate some deprivation of mine when I can just not be deprived in the first place, especially when that fulfillment is not guaranteed regardless of what I do.
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Wkoncuodejde, pariah80 and ijustwishtodie
Cease to exist 100%. If I went back in time I'd just kms earlier. You can try to change things and *hope* things would turn out better. But for what? Life will still be meaningless even if you've deluded yourself with copes. Death is and will always be the only guarantee in life.
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Wkoncuodejde, pariah80, ijustwishtodie and 1 other person
Cease to exist. Most of my problems started in early childhood and there's nothing or, little I could have done to stop them. Deaths in the close family. Contact with a (suspected) narcissist. There's no way I'd want to live through any of that shit again! Since then, I've just done my best to get by. I maybe didn't always make the right decisions but I'm not sure making other ones would have reulted in me being any happier. The thought of more time in life rather than less is nightmare fuel.
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Wkoncuodejde, pariah80 and ijustwishtodie
Going back just for nostalgia, tbh. I really think this world is cursed. Even if I were able to follow a cheat sheet for a perfect life, I'd still be living in the same reality and chances are I'd end up feeling the same.
Cease to exist, it doesn't matter if I fix the mistakes I've made I'll still end up traumatised and I'll still end up living in the same shitty world with the same shitty people that have to give their opinion on every little thing they perceive. But even if there was no second option and you just asked me if I wanted to go back in time and "fix" things, what would that entail? I go back and forget everything I currently know but I magically have the ability to know how to fix certain things? And then I just never return to the present? That's how I thought about it, and even with that being the case I wouldn't do it, same thing if you told me that I would return to the present after it's all said and done
I don't care about this existence and I would never want to be part of it. It's unnecessary suffering that leads nowhere. I don't care about life, I don't care about people and I don't care about deceptive nature. Here we live in a lie and everything is a deception. I am forced to find a way to end it in a world full of people and bureaucratic/legislative and punitive mechanisms created with the sole purpose of forcing me to stay here and live in pain. This is madness, life is a madhouse. Going back in time would be a nightmare. Better to stop time forever.
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AnderDethsky, pthnrdnojvsc and Wkoncuodejde
Cease to exist. Most of my problems started in early childhood and there's nothing or, little I could have done to stop them. Deaths in the close family. Contact with a (suspected) narcissist. There's no way I'd want to live through any of that shit again! Since then, I've just done my best to get by. I maybe didn't always make the right decisions but I'm not sure making other ones would have reulted in me being any happier. The thought of more time in life rather than less is nightmare fuel.
You've echoed the sentiments of my soul. I was too young and vulnerable to change the things that really destroyed me in my life. I co-sign on this 100%.
Reactions:
CantDoIt, Wkoncuodejde and Forever Sleep
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