Giving life a second chance

[First loss]

Today was supposed to be the day of my death, but things happened. I started considering all of my family and how my death would affect them. My little brother for example. The burden seems to heavy for me. Also, some pro lifers both online and my friend in RL have gave it their best to convince me to stay.

I legit don't know anymore, and that's why i'm making this thread.

I feel like if I take their advice and stay, i'll just get scammed into more miserable existing and pointless wandering around this world.
On the other hand, I feel sorry for my old grandfather and my little brother and how they could react. Last night my grandfather and I had a nice, detailed conversation about lots of stuff and I couldn't help but think that he would be absolutely devastated if I died, and that he doesn't need something like that few years after losing his wife.

What do I do, lads? Any contribution is valued.

 

[Shamana]

Honestly go for life if you're conflicted. I feel it seems like some people here feel pressured (by themselves mostly) to die now that they have a created a whole project about it. There is no need to rush into something as serious as suicide.

 

[FrankieMay]

Honestly go for life if you're conflicted. I feel it seems like some people here feel pressured (by themselves mostly) to die now that they have a created a whole project about it. There is no need to rush into something as serious as suicide.

I agree, you have the rest of your life to ctb, but once it's done it's done
I think you did the right thing

 

[Jean Améry]

Better to err on the side of caution: since there's no coming back from death and it's always possible to CTB later if need be I think the answer here is clear.

 

[Chalken]

If you're still not sure, I think you should stay until your suffering becomes unbearable or until you stop caring about hurting others. There's no going back once you kill yourself. I'm in the same spot, only staying for the time being because I don't want to hurt my family, but eventually I'll CTB.

 

[Donewith_]

Really good to see this, i mean you stopped for a while to think right.
i think may be giving another try might be better.. i have seen some people giving a second chance to life and you can't predict how things'll turn out.
I really hope this will go in the best way for you
wish you the best.

 

[funkydory]

How old are you? Young people often experience a lot of angst and recover and get over it once they've matured. I don't think suicide is really an option until you're beyond 25 or at least beyond the point of any serious developmental changes. I'm 28 now and no there's no changing me or my situation so I'm gone soon. Go get some help, or try to some different help if you've already tried therapy. Go travelling, try psychedelic drugs, find a new hobby, read some philosophy books to change your perspective. Only once you've exhausted all possible options do I think you should CTB. From what I've seen in other people (I can't remember what its like to really experience life) life is too precious to give up on it too early. No matter how much pain you're in.

 

[Letmego. Please]

If you can give it a go, things always change so for now go head long into finding out what might make you happy, as people have said, travel, see the world, there is i always found when i was younger a great deal of fun to be had, knowing that if all else failed or it got too much i could just return to the end if i wished.

I tried to die at your age, but with hindsight i'm glad i didn't as i would have missed a lot of good times along the way.

If you are not sure then live the life you have now with your family, go out & see the world, then see how you feel.

 

[TiredHorse]

I'll keep the replies unanimous: If you aren't certain it's time to die, you ought to keep living. You can always CTB later.

And to agree specifically with @Donewith_: good for you, that you took the time to stop and think. Well done.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Today was supposed to be the day of my death, but things happened. I started considering all of my family and how my death would affect them. My little brother for example. The burden seems to heavy for me. Also, some pro lifers both online and my friend in RL have gave it their best to convince me to stay.

I legit don't know anymore, and that's why i'm making this thread.

I feel like if I take their advice and stay, i'll just get scammed into more miserable existing and pointless wandering around this world.
On the other hand, I feel sorry for my old grandfather and my little brother and how they could react. Last night my grandfather and I had a nice, detailed conversation about lots of stuff and I couldn't help but think that he would be absolutely devastated if I died, and that he doesn't need something like that few years after losing his wife.

What do I do, lads? Any contribution is valued.

As I always say and practically everybody else on here, if you have the slightest of doubts, you choose life. Suicide is not a decision to take lightly. I sincerely hope you get better and if you want any tips to try to improve, there's loads online. I wish you none but the best love. I hope you can fight through this and recover
If my only problem was depression (my type at least), traveling can definitely put you in a better state of mind. Therapy, moving to a different country and just starting over. Exhaust all options before going through with anything. And once again, I can speak for all of us when I say we wish you peace in your hopeful recovery

 

[not_a_robot]

Today was supposed to be the day of my death, but things happened. I started considering all of my family and how my death would affect them. My little brother for example. The burden seems to heavy for me. Also, some pro lifers both online and my friend in RL have gave it their best to convince me to stay.

I legit don't know anymore, and that's why i'm making this thread.

I feel like if I take their advice and stay, i'll just get scammed into more miserable existing and pointless wandering around this world.
On the other hand, I feel sorry for my old grandfather and my little brother and how they could react. Last night my grandfather and I had a nice, detailed conversation about lots of stuff and I couldn't help but think that he would be absolutely devastated if I died, and that he doesn't need something like that few years after losing his wife.

What do I do, lads? Any contribution is valued.

Yeah go ahead and live. I'm sure everything will be fine. It's really just that simple.

 

[dandan]

Dare youself to have a good day!

Dare yourself TO DO MORE things in a day, stop wondering , thinking, and get things done, whatever it is... ( family, friends, hobby, money, learning, reading, socializing, playing, business, but DO something )

 

[PatKat]

Today was supposed to be the day of my death, but things happened. I started considering all of my family and how my death would affect them. My little brother for example. The burden seems to heavy for me. Also, some pro lifers both online and my friend in RL have gave it their best to convince me to stay.

I legit don't know anymore, and that's why i'm making this thread.

I feel like if I take their advice and stay, i'll just get scammed into more miserable existing and pointless wandering around this world.
On the other hand, I feel sorry for my old grandfather and my little brother and how they could react. Last night my grandfather and I had a nice, detailed conversation about lots of stuff and I couldn't help but think that he would be absolutely devastated if I died, and that he doesn't need something like that few years after losing his wife.

What do I do, lads? Any contribution is valued.

It seems like you have found hope and that is not a bad thing at all! The road to recovery is extremely hard and full of bumps. They say we are stronger after we make it through. I am holding on to a thread of life currently how I have been treated by my government both state, and federal is weighing on me more and more each day. I had problems before them obviously, but the ones that are suppose to help just do not care. I can see hope in your words though, and if you are able to get out of this feeling DO IT! I wish I could help, but I myself have not found that hope yet. Just my piece on this. I wish you the best of luck in life and remember it is not easy for people like us. <3

 

[First loss]

It seems like you have found hope and that is not a bad thing at all! The road to recovery is extremely hard and full of bumps. They say we are stronger after we make it through. I am holding on to a thread of life currently how I have been treated by my government both state, and federal is weighing on me more and more each day. I had problems before them obviously, but the ones that are suppose to help just do not care. I can see hope in your words though, and if you are able to get out of this feeling DO IT! I wish I could help, but I myself have not found that hope yet. Just my piece on this. I wish you the best of luck in life and remember it is not easy for people like us. <3

Thanks for the wishes. I feel empty to be honest. Not hopeful, just some weird feeling of wanting to stay alive. Maybe a type of SI. I figured i'd give it a chance. I can always hang myself if I want.

 

[GeorgeJL]

These are the things I recommend to people that have some hope and want to give life another shot.

1. Self authoring program. https://www.selfauthoring.com/ this will help you decide what you want to do with your life.

2. Psychedelics, in short don't believe the government propaganda, try some psychedelics and get in touch with your inner self with love and peace. Empire marketplace has them, and they are non-addictive. Just stay away from PCP and dissociatives. Personally I recommend 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt.

3. Try some medications if you haven't already. If you have already, then try another class of medications. Medications have saved me many times already.

That is it, if you have any questions I will be glad to help.

 

[Weems]

Today was supposed to be the day of my death, but things happened. I started considering all of my family and how my death would affect them. My little brother for example. The burden seems to heavy for me. Also, some pro lifers both online and my friend in RL have gave it their best to convince me to stay.

I legit don't know anymore, and that's why i'm making this thread.

I feel like if I take their advice and stay, i'll just get scammed into more miserable existing and pointless wandering around this world.
On the other hand, I feel sorry for my old grandfather and my little brother and how they could react. Last night my grandfather and I had a nice, detailed conversation about lots of stuff and I couldn't help but think that he would be absolutely devastated if I died, and that he doesn't need something like that few years after losing his wife.

What do I do, lads? Any contribution is valued.

I'm about where you are. My life is so bad, but the fact is that family and friends would still care if I ctb. Three grandparents are still alive, one of whom is deteriorating mentally. Would he ask about me and have to be reminded of my suicide repeatedly? That's enough to make me stick it out for a while.

Edit: Also I know you are very young. As a 30yo who screwed up his education, let me tell you: get practical. Don't be a dreamer. Money is pretty much everything. Make a plan to train for a solid career and execute it. Focus. No "finding yourself," there's nothing to find but your ability to make it in the world. Trust me. You don't want to be stuck in menial work when your youth runs out. Your mind will die.

 

[ExitTheDay]

I know don't know your situation but I know they can be difficult, I'm very glad you decided to stay because of your little brother and grandfather, sometimes I look very close into the eyes of people who care about me and I cannot vision them seeing me dead, it would tear them to shreds just as much as this pain and loneliness does to me... anyways I hope peace is starting to come your way First Loss, it makes me happy to see you've stayed!

 

[Rukia]

I am on the same page...I feel for my little brother...my mother...
I excluded helium exit bag method for the sake of my family that will find me with plastic bag on my head...and other reasons too...
Now I think about giving myself another chance...It is hard to live but apparently for me it even harder to die...as there are no 100 % sure and painless methods...even N as I am on antipsychotic medicine...

Why do you want to die? If I may ask...

I wanted/still want? to die because I have chronic illness....and it makes me uncapable of working I am in my 30' and on pension already,,,

 

[stillwoozy]

Give life another try. You can always ctb the later. Death is something you can't take back, so if you are conflicted in the slightest, I'd say to continue to push on.
And your family will be devastated. That is something even the most peaceful of methods can never lessen.

I hope you can find peace outside of death. And if life only worsens, you'll know when you're ready to ctb.

 

[CookieBandit]

Hey @First loss , how is it going for you? Wishing you all the best!

 

[First loss]

Hey @First loss , how is it going for you? Wishing you all the best!

Hey man. It is kinda neutral. A little bit better, but life still sucks. I just give less fucks about my problems in general. Thank you for asking.

 

[CookieBandit]

Hey @First loss , thank you for responding. Good to hear that it got a little better. Sad to hear life still sucks. How do you manage to "give less fucks" about your problems? Seems like a good skill to have! I hope everything goes as you want, however you want and whenever it feels right for you. And I really wish you find something good in life since you decided to recover. You and everyone else here deserve the best.

 

[First loss]

Hey @First loss , thank you for responding. Good to hear that it got a little better. Sad to hear life still sucks. How do you manage to "give less fucks" about your problems? Seems like a good skill to have! I hope everything goes as you want, however you want and whenever it feels right for you. And I really wish you find something good in life since you decided to recover. You and everyone else here deserve the best.

I can't really explain it. I just go with the flow, cry my eyes out once in the while and keep myself occupied. I have developed an unhealty obsession with chess and it is keeping me occupied.

 

[ScornedStoic]

In my position family is kind of irrelevant to the question of suicide-if the stresses overpower my coping mechanisms, I die.

 

[CookieBandit]

I can't really explain it. I just go with the flow, cry my eyes out once in the while and keep myself occupied. I have developed an unhealty obsession with chess and it is keeping me occupied.

Chess is great. There are much more unhealthy things to have an obsession with I guess. Thumps up for doing so good!