Help Gifted kid burn out (help)

[hella.physched]

Being a gifted kid/teenager wrecked my life.
(I dont wanna seem arrogant or ungrateful. Im not taking the ability to naturally excel academically for granted. I know its a blessing that many people have to work hard for.)

At the age of 4-6 i could do 5-7th grade math. I read science books that weighed more than i did. I was always a straight A student. To an outsider, everything seems great.
But no one talks about the immense pressure that can break & mess u up permanently (especially at a young age). I constantly sought my father's approval, i looked up to him since i was a baby. He was a saint to me (& he is an amazing father, dont get me wrong), my grades determined my worth. Getting a B was a disappointment, a C was a disgrace.
long story short, after studying for 10-12 hours straight a day, i graduated with a 97.5 average. Got into dental school.
I cannot emphasize this enough but it wrecked me….
Still after all that, my father was FURIOUS i chose dentistry over medicine (both parents are medical doctors), the constant belittling, nasty comments, it even got physical at one occasion.
Now this is where i ask for help.
im in second year of college ( first year of my major) & I am failing. The concept of failing seemed so far fetched to me I didn't even noticed that i was.
After the longest fight to get to where i am today,i have nothing left in me. Aside from that, i've had other non-school related issues that are making me consider to CTB.
Idk why i still care about not failing when im planning to ctb… maybe its the fear of disappointing my father ingrained in me.
I cant study at all, i cant get out of bed & if i do its to cry in my bathroom. I have an anatomy exam on Wednesday, & over 820 slides to study. I need help. I need it to stop.

 

[Dot]

Hve u told ur uni tht u r strugglng -- thy wll b fmiliar wth brn-out & mght b abl 2 offr sme practcl spport

 

[hella.physched]

Hve u told ur uni tht u r strugglng -- thy wll b fmiliar wth brn-out & mght b abl 2 offr sme practcl spport

Yes i have. But theres just not much they can do. They referred me to a shitty counselor.
Its not like they can give me grades i don't deserve (especially in healthcare, dont want students messing up patients later on)

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're under a massive amount of pressure. I know people generally don't like hearing this in this section and I know it's a cliche- but- have you reached out to any college therapist? I was REALLY struggling in the second year of my second degree. A friend of mine urged me to check out the services at my uni. It was difficult and uncomfortable- yes. In the long term- I chose not to proceed with many sessions. Still- she was pretty insightful. Plus- they WILL surely have come across struggling students in the past- who are being pushed by their parents. Even students who are considering quiting (as I was.) That or- I'd say- talk to your teachers. Make SOMEONE aware of how much you are struggling. I'm sure it won't be the first time this has happened and you don't have to go through it all on your own. I think you need someone to talk to- to really work out what it is that YOU want. I'm sorry things have worked out like this though. I hope you find a way to resolve them.

 

[magician99]

I can relate to this. I was a smart kid as well, but my parents and bullies ruined me.

Whenever I got a average grade, my mother would constantly berate me, comparing me to kids who are smarter than me to put pressure on me (if i didn't meet the expectations of my parents, they would lash out on me even more than usual and don't acknowledge me). If I got a bad grade? Time for a whooping with the belt and wooden spoon.

Besides physical/sexual abuse, putting pressure on a kid early on, is the worst thing a parent could do. It leads to everything crashing down for the kid, sooner or later.

 

[hella.physched]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're under a massive amount of pressure. I know people generally don't like hearing this in this section and I know it's a cliche- but- have you reached out to any college therapist? I was REALLY struggling in the second year of my second degree. A friend of mine urged me to check out the services at my uni. It was difficult and uncomfortable- yes. In the long term- I chose not to proceed with many sessions. Still- she was pretty insightful. Plus- they WILL surely have come across struggling students in the past- who are being pushed by their parents. Even students who are considering quiting (as I was.) That or- I'd say- talk to your teachers. Make SOMEONE aware of how much you are struggling. I'm sure it won't be the first time this has happened and you don't have to go through it all on your own. I think you need someone to talk to- to really work out what it is that YOU want. I'm sorry things have worked out like this though. I hope you find a way to resolve them.

Yea i was referred to a counselor. Didn't really help at all. Got an appointment at october… the year ends at june… hilarious

I can relate to this. I was a smart kid as well, but my parents and bullies ruined me.

Whenever I got a average grade, my mother would constantly berate me, comparing me to kids who are smarter than me to put pressure on me (if i didn't meet the expectations of my parents, they would lash out on me even more than usual and don't acknowledge me). If I got a bad grade? Time for a whooping with the belt and wooden spoon.

Besides physical/sexual abuse, putting pressure on a kid early on, is the worst thing a parent could do. It leads to everything crashing down for the kid, sooner or later.

I agree, really messes up how a child views themselves. & what they base their worth on.

 

[SexyIncél]

I'm sorry to hear that. He drank the koolaid and now shoves it down your throat

Winning more free time will lower the pressure. "Studying harder" is an arms race. Better to increase efficiency, not time spent

Consider Dr Justin Sung. During his studies, he experimented and researched cognition, to be more effective with less time studying. Here's his youtube. If you find him helpful, he has a community & program to boost your learning efficiency

If you go this route, please feel free to tell me the outcome, so I have more datapoints

Then a bit of zen...

1. first, kill your parents
2. then kill god
3. then kill me Dr Justin Sung

 

[OceanBlue]

Now this is where i ask for help.
im in second year of college ( first year of my major) & I am failing. The concept of failing seemed so far fetched to me I didn't even noticed that i was.
After the longest fight to get to where i am today,i have nothing left in me. Aside from that, i've had other non-school related issues that are making me consider to CTB.
Idk why i still care about not failing when im planning to ctb… maybe its the fear of disappointing my father ingrained in me.
I cant study at all, i cant get out of bed & if i do its to cry in my bathroom. I have an anatomy exam on Wednesday, & over 820 slides to study. I need help. I need it to stop

Since it's the end of the year and final exams are coming up, you need to speak to your personal tutor, fill in some extenuating circumstances forms and make some kind of arrangement to "save" this year, you could possibly resit during the summer session (with those who had failed, but get full credit). The staff are familiar with mental health issues, they should be able to accommodate you. Maybe even consider taking a gap year.

If your parents are furious with you - tell them you never asked to be born and don't owe them anything. In fact, you suffer now precisely because they brought you here without consent - it's you who should be furious, turn the tables on them. Good luck.