Droso
Born, survive, reproduce, die.
- Dec 23, 2024
- 195
I know some incels and some incel-aligned folk will probably tell me I shouldn't be complaining.
But I don't like close intimate connections. I can only handle at most two at a time.
Anything more is uncomfortable. I've also never had two close intimate connections both in person at once. One of them has always been online and one in person.
But I'm getting attention from a lot of girls. I'm already at my max. They seem nice and all, but I barely even know them.
I don't do the "dating" stuff either. I only date people I've been friends with. The way dating works is uncomfortable and anxiety inducing to the point I get nauseous.
It feels awful having a person actually get to know me, especially in such an intimate approach. I barely like making actual new friends. The only times I feel comfortable is in servers where everyone already knows each other. That way I'm not forced into the spotlight. I rather just be the one who is not that involved and lets others know who I really am and what I think.
The way I put up walls is by being a total jerk and edgy. And it's honestly the only way I can talk to people in a more intimate setting.
I've met people who are like me, though. Those are the intimate connections I have. Because they don't expect me to put down those walls or change. It's just kind of how I am.
But THESE girls— they think that they can fix or change me. That I'm just putting up a front.
It's uncomfortable and honestly annoying. I can't actively change my personality. I really don't want to. Right now I only care for things related to my inevitable duedate. It's coming soon and I've become more wrapped up in myself than I have ever been before.
I've grown accustomed to how the world has alienated me. So that's just how I am now. Reclusive. It's just my personality I guess.
I'll have to reject this most recent girl soon. She's too happy. Has no idea I'm going to CTB. I don't want to hurt her.
But I don't like close intimate connections. I can only handle at most two at a time.
Anything more is uncomfortable. I've also never had two close intimate connections both in person at once. One of them has always been online and one in person.
But I'm getting attention from a lot of girls. I'm already at my max. They seem nice and all, but I barely even know them.
I don't do the "dating" stuff either. I only date people I've been friends with. The way dating works is uncomfortable and anxiety inducing to the point I get nauseous.
It feels awful having a person actually get to know me, especially in such an intimate approach. I barely like making actual new friends. The only times I feel comfortable is in servers where everyone already knows each other. That way I'm not forced into the spotlight. I rather just be the one who is not that involved and lets others know who I really am and what I think.
The way I put up walls is by being a total jerk and edgy. And it's honestly the only way I can talk to people in a more intimate setting.
I've met people who are like me, though. Those are the intimate connections I have. Because they don't expect me to put down those walls or change. It's just kind of how I am.
But THESE girls— they think that they can fix or change me. That I'm just putting up a front.
It's uncomfortable and honestly annoying. I can't actively change my personality. I really don't want to. Right now I only care for things related to my inevitable duedate. It's coming soon and I've become more wrapped up in myself than I have ever been before.
I've grown accustomed to how the world has alienated me. So that's just how I am now. Reclusive. It's just my personality I guess.
I'll have to reject this most recent girl soon. She's too happy. Has no idea I'm going to CTB. I don't want to hurt her.
