Venting Getting tired of life

[NobleFive]

I've gotten to this point in my life where I have zero drive to live with a lack of motivation to kill myself. I can't pull myself towards death but can't push myself back up to become what I want to be. So I basically just lie here in a state of limbo of not going anywhere.

I feel like I can't look farther than 3 months ahead because I feel as if I don't have much longer for myself despite the things I want to do. I have a purpose but no will to follow it, I am a husk that is here to remain hollow.

I want to just stay asleep forever yet I can't find myself an easy way, last time I tried I was too cowardly to jump off an overpass, and I've been restricted from all my easy ways of killing myself.

I don't even know what I should do, I feel like I'm just living life walking through a silent hill type of fog with no real destination. Just existing in a state of present melancholy.

Every time I try to educate myself it seems I'm stumped by some force that holds me down. I can't find a motive to learn or do anything and I feel as if I'm lobotomized and slowly becoming more and more stupid as I go on.

What is the point of even living, I don't even know if the reality I live in is real?

What do I do guys?

 

[BlackEyedDog]

The limbo you describe is all too familiar. Don't know how we can bring ourselves to ctb, and don't know how to improve our situation.
I'm wondering if u have tried to get help? Therapy and/or meds? I've had periods of solid improvement with the help of meds.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering, I also just wish to sleep forever. But anyway I wish you the best.