Getting targeted and molested by two pedophiles really was as good as things got

[zapffes_son]

They took me to that movie with Jack Nichelson and Grag Kinnear. I suppose they could predict the future and had a fucked up sense of humor. My life has been a non-stop horrendous pile of shit!

Seriously, I must have the worst luck in the world, all of my sexual encounters were sexual assault. Those pedos must have been psychic.

Anyway, 25 years later my life is at an end. All avenues have been cut off and the last thing I've got is killing myself.

Hey, I did my damndest, but can't fight "fate", I guess.

Pretty shitty after all that the last thing left in my life is wasting time before I have to kill myself.

My life almost feels like a planned murder that stretched out over 38 years. That's the only thing that makes any sense at this point.

I've got my SN and all the needed supplies. I'll probably do it somewhere in the woods. Just sucks sitting here and all I have left is waiting for that day.

Talk about a real crap life.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I relate to it being a pile of shit. That really sucks to be attacked by not one, but two pedos at the same time. Holyshit.

 

[zapffes_son]

Seriously. My family and the cops did jack shit about it, too.

Word got around and it left me open to every creep, like my 40 year old teacher who sexually harassed me for 4 years. Oh yeah...

Who the hell would want to continue this life? 38 years of this miserable, insufferable hell, and I know for a fact it's not going to stop.

I've deliberated this enough. I'm aware I'd be better off dead with this life, the sooner the better.

It's completely irrational for me to stay alive. Damn, that fucking sucks!

 

[FuneralCry]

That is really awful what has happened to you, I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Life can be so cruel. I wish you peace if you decide to leave this world.

 

[Witness of the mind]

Honestly, sometimes when I browse this forum I'm wondering if I'm overreacting and I should get over myself. Rape, my god, what this has to do to a person at that age, my problems seem minuscule in comparison. I wish you good luck, my friend.

 

[zapffes_son]

Life can be a rotten pile of shit. What's really sick is there are people out there who think it's hilarious.

What a world, truly.

Anyway, I'm considering CTBing tonight. Rationally, the sooner I do it, the better, considering my horrendous circumstances are only guaranteed to get worse.

I'm stuck with my dad right now, but I know neither he nor my neighbors will give a rat's ass.

In fact, they'll all say, "finally!"

Unfortunately, living in spite isn't going to change the -100 situation, which will only get worse as time goes on.

 

[Bullit]

This post is an outrage. To think that you are thinking of ctb while the sub human shit that hurt you go unpunished!!! The shit should be planning ctb,not you.
I wish you peace and end to your suffering. Obviously only you can decide if giving up on life is the right thing. Maybe there's a chance...???

 

[EraseRewind]

I can relate to so much of your post, I hope you can find a reason to reconsider, those that hurt you should never win. I drank for many years to avoid the pain, I've tried good and bad methods of medication and self medication, they didn't work but speaking to someone finally cleared some of the past, it's all still there although a bit more bearable and it takes time but it could be worth a try.

Whatever road you take I hope that you can feel some peace and genuine love, I wish you the best for what you decide.

 

[zapffes_son]

Unfortunately, those subhuman shits are considered heroes to many people.

Truth be told, when I CTB, it'll be murder, but what does that matter when I'm dead?

 

[Werewolf.]

I am so sorry. I don't know what to say.

 

[CFLoser]

Fuck. This hits hard.

I would always go on omegle, and public chatrooms when I was underage to try and get older men to care about me.