Venting Getting high on just about everything again.

[Blueberry Panic]

I'm disappearing into habits I swore I'd never touch again. I keep slipping back into the same darkness that almost took me the last time, like some part of me is desperate to feel nothing at all. I don't even recognize myself lately. I keep chasing any kind of escape, anything that makes the world blur for a while, anything that makes my thoughts stop clawing at me.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Bump

 

[Chemi]

Hey, i don't know you that well but this hit me right in the chest because I kept repeating almost these exact words before many times. Same habits, same "i swore never again," same chasing the blur just to make the thoughts and emotions shut up for five minutes. You're not broken for sliding back. Your brain is just being bratty and doing the only trick it learned when everything hurt too much.

 

[вечный сон]

Never did drugs really but i kinda dont know why anymore. Atleast you feel happy for a short while instead of complete dread and suicidal thoughts 24/7. I guess at some point it doesnt work anymore sadly