Venting Getting Guilt-Tripped for Being Hard of Hearing

[Unsure and Useless]

For the record, I'm not officially considered hard of hearing by a medical professional. My family hates spending money too much for that. However, I've struggled with hearing issues enough for me to make the inference that I have a condition that makes it difficult for me to hear certain things despite being at a young age. I'm not completely hard of hearing. At worst, I'd say I have a mild version of it that makes it difficult for me to hear things from far away when other sounds are being made closer to me; plus, my natural volume is louder than most people's because of my hearing issue

This will probably not come as a shock to anyone who's hard of hearing and/or deaf, but living with it, even if it's just a mild version of it, is tough and not even because you don't hear things normally. Most of the time, it feels like it's how people treat you that make having it depressing. It's like they treat you as if you purposefully don't hear them and use it against you to spin whatever narrative they want

You didn't hear them when they called out to you in busy traffic? Oh, you must not think they have anything worth listening to

You didn't hear someone yell for you across the house three times to help with something? Then you must have intentionally ignored them so that they have to do all the work

You talk too loudly because you think you're speaking too quietly? You just like making a ruckus because you're self-centered

I've done some slight research, and to no one's surprise, there's not much you can do to undo the damage that has been done. Contrary to popular belief, hearing aids don't just... fix your hearing. Some people can't even use them because the sound they "make" is painful. As a result, I'm likely going to learn sign language sometime soon to make up for my hearing difficulties, but learning a new language doesn't happen in a day, no matter how much I wish that was how it worked. Until then, I'm going to have to deal with this; the only thing that makes me feel not as bad as I could be is knowing that there are people with significantly worse hearing issues that have it rougher than me. This is just the tip of the iceberg for them

I'm just generally shocked because a lot of this judgement comes from my own family. For context, my father is hard of hearing in one ear. My entire life, I was expected to be loud so that he could hear me. As a result, I thought that they'd be more understanding. I guess not, but that doesn't make their assumptions about me hurt any less

 

[58Alice85]

hmmm seems like you spend your time with extremely annoying people
minor health issues are common

 

[brighteyesfan144]

I have a theory that the ENT specialists of this world have failed us all, maybe second-place to psychiatrists.

I have a similar problem except I have very tiny nasal passages, deviated septum, and one doctor said i have polyps but another disagreed. I'm hard of smelling. I may actually get evicted because I can't smell what's going on in my apartment but apparently my 90-year-old landlord can, so she's coming tomorrow to tell me how much I stink. She always guilt trips me saying I can't smell anything because I smoke and while I don't smoke that much (12-pack year maybe) it hurts because I know I was born like this.

My whole childhood my family used to guilt trip me. I remember getting told at the age of 6-12 every day by my two older sisters and mother to go blow my nose in the most angry way, and I'd be sent to the bathroom to blow it as hard as I can multiple times a day. They kept telling me I need to blow harder, I never realized I might have something wrong with me and need surgery, I just thought I was a nuisance. I realized years later when I actually did get surgery that it was all the hard blowing that messed it up even more.

I also was never allowed to eat in peace, since not being able to breathe through my nose made it difficult so I made a moaning noise I guess when I ate. I was mocked constantly for the noises.

Also, my mom used to tell me I always smelled really bad apparently although I had a FWB in high school I hung out with a lot and she always smelled my armpits and told me my mom was crazy. My mom kept telling me I stink and just can't smell it. Actually well into adulthood, she's disavowing me to come back home after I lost my job and couldn't pay my bills because apparently I smell too bad to come home. She told me this on Mother's Day. The girl I was dating at the time in my late 20s again confirmed that my "mom was insane" and that I don't, but now my landlord is saying the same thing, so I think it might just be a women-over-40 sense about me.

It's actually one of the main reasons I don't see a reason to live. I feel disgusting. I'm so sniffly all the time. The Canadian winters are the worst. I'm literally so gross.

Last year I had surgery which was an awful experience and it didn't make me better at all. I have to wait another year just to get a consultation with a different doctor because the one I got it from A) sucked and B) won't even answer my calls no matter how many times I try and contact. He was so weird with me, almost turning me away because I insisted I had polyps which is what another doctor told me after CT scan. He made a really weird comment right before the surgery about my Ottawa phone number like he isn't impressed "Ottawa phone number? second one today... That's weird" and then walks away