Venting Genuine care & regard from others is rare.

[Livingvsdying25]

Just coming to terms with my own reality. People rarly care. Or pretend then show in moments that it's bullshit.

Even family..disappointed about that mostly today. Would've expected/hoped my Dad or brother would even text or smthin but nah.

I'm not gonna wait anymore for them or hope for anything.

Not gonna engage with anyone much Or do much this week. Jus existing or resting ig. Few things on list but yee.

Didn't sleep much & body is extremely sore so gonna jus take it easy for the next 2 days. Kinda feeling sick today tbh.

Still depressed and stuff buttt keeping in contact with friends a lil but not too much rn/today.

Jus been watching some youtube vids & anime.


Sighhhss I guess I'm getting by but barly. Will call guitar shops tmrw. MAID isn't impossible but there doesn't seem like there is a lot of doctors avaliable... shall try but *shrugs* not relying on it. Gotta buckle down(?) And figure out a way to conquer survival instincts around SN. May be my only option at this point.

Im pretty deflated ig so not as much to say as usual. At least I'm starting to feel sleepy so will most likely sleep tonight but been feeling warmer/more heat intolerance today sooo dunno.


Rn life is just misery and getting by with enough apathy so the despair like feelings don't hit as much.

 

[alonely]

I wish people cared

 

[Lulzacruel]

i think that from a philosophical point of view, genuine care does not exist 100% of the time in other people, the words we use to communicate our pain to others i think are too crude to truly reflect the suffering going on in the head. i think the closest to genuine care you can get with others is with those who try to remedy your problem even if they don't 100% understand.

also, i really like your occasional posts, feels like reading someones diary, keep up the good work :-)

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's true that most people are too self centred to ever care, so many of them won't even try to understand how other people suffer, I just think that other people cannot really be relied on in this cruel world.

 

[Odahviing475]

Someone came all the way to my dorm at 3 in the morning because he was worried about me. It really felt great and meant the world. However, he soon grew tired of my constant depressive loop and started ignoring me later on to distance himself.

The only other person to care would immediately call the cops if I showed the slightest bit of ideation. Can't talk to him about anything.

 

[Baron]

Noone truly cares about me. Nothing would change if I just died. Having noone in your life feels lonely, but weirdly enough a bit relieving at the same time. It's like there's nothing inside me, I feel so light.