For now I am somewhat happy with where my life is going. I know my brain all too well though. I'm bipolar type one so what I feel now will not be the same in a year. I will inevitably fall back into my hole of darkness and isolation just like I do every other year. I just don't think I'm strong enough to go through it again because fuck this previous depressive episode was the worst one Iv ever had and they just get worse every time. My desire for this shitty life to be over grows stronger every time I have one of these extreme lows. So my plan is to just buy a gun and save it for that rainy day when my problems take over my life again. I feel at peace at the thought of having a way out when I finally reach my breaking point which will come soon enough. In the meantime I will enjoy feeling normal/manic for a while. Cheers.
WAITING TO DIE
TORMENTED
- Sep 30, 2023
- 1,539
Bipolar lows can be utterly brutal. During a manic episode it's always there at the back of your mind that someday in the future a big low is gonna bite you on the ass.
Yet having a gun as your method there ready for you will at least bring some form of comfort, even if you never actually use it.
Yet having a gun as your method there ready for you will at least bring some form of comfort, even if you never actually use it.
