Venting FUCK TINNITUS

[WillOxyWork]

FUCK Tinnitus. I could live with my vision problems if that were the only issue, but tinnitus is a fucking demon. I live constantly in fear of sound. I try so hard to protect my ears, but it still somehow is slowly getting worse. I feel like a dentist is drilling into my ears. My tinnitus is such fucking bullshit that other noises amplify it. I can hear my tinnitus amplified by white noise, the shower, and the wind. Music sounds distorted.

I had made so much progress in the past 2 years with my depression, just to be slapped in the face by a lifelong ailment. Tinnitus ruined my life. I can't live with this fucking condition and be afraid of sound for the rest of my life. I can't enjoy any of my hobbies anymore. I've lost my identity.

I've never felt such a consuming sense of agony. I have all my components for SN except for one, and I'm just constantly checking for when it will be here. It can't be here soon enough. I need this pain to stop now.

 

[Scooby-Doo]

It must be horrendous, there's lots of people on here with same problem and no answer to it. There are YouTube vids about hibituation but I think it gets beyond that point. There should be more help available for this. I hope you find peace

 

[Heavy]

I also have it but just slight. Still very annoying though but I got used to the sound. I think it makes us lunatics though. In the long run.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I've got it, too. I used to love silence. Now I'll never hear it again.

 

[Bea]

FUCK Tinnitus. I could live with my vision problems if that were the only issue, but tinnitus is a fucking demon. I live constantly in fear of sound. I try so hard to protect my ears, but it still somehow is slowly getting worse. I feel like a dentist is drilling into my ears. My tinnitus is such fucking bullshit that other noises amplify it. I can hear my tinnitus amplified by white noise, the shower, and the wind. Music sounds distorted.

I had made so much progress in the past 2 years with my depression, just to be slapped in the face by a lifelong ailment. Tinnitus ruined my life. I can't live with this fucking condition and be afraid of sound for the rest of my life. I can't enjoy any of my hobbies anymore. I've lost my identity.

I've never felt such a consuming sense of agony. I have all my components for SN except for one, and I'm just constantly checking for when it will be here. It can't be here soon enough. I need this pain to stop now.

Oh my god, I understand. I have it, too, although it sounds as if you have it much worse. I am so sorry. I just wanted to send some empathy.

 

[tryingtoescape]

I want to die because of tinnitus too. It's unbearable. I'm so tired of living like this.

 

[WillOxyWork]

Oh my god, I understand. I have it, too, although it sounds as if you have it much worse. I am so sorry. I just wanted to send some empathy.

I don't even know if I have it much worse than you. You could have it worse than me. My depression could just be amplifying my emotions about it.

I don't hear it all the time if I'm in certain environments. The worst part about it is I just can't enjoy any hobbies anymore and my ears are so sensitive to sound that I just live in fear of loud noise.

 

[Sunshine]

I don't even know if I have it much worse than you. You could have it worse than me. My depression could just be amplifying my emotions about it.

I don't hear it all the time if I'm in certain environments. The worst part about it is I just can't enjoy any hobbies anymore and my ears are so sensitive to sound that I just live in fear of loud noise.

How did you get it?

 

[Heavy]

When I'm reminded it gets louder somehow. God damn, you made mine more annoying today.

 

[WillOxyWork]

When I'm reminded it gets louder somehow. God damn, you made mine more annoying today.

:(. I'm sorry. That wasn't at all my intention. I hope you can find something to distract you

How did you get it?

My first major acoustic trauma was over two years ago when I offered to ride in the way back of a car when there weren't enough seats. I was right on top of the speaker and the booming bass destroyed my ear. I had awful pulsatile tinnitus and hyperacusis for months but it eventually improved.

About two months ago, I used a pressure washer without hearing protection. It was so stupid and I constantly just want to go back to that moment and prevent the damage I caused. It destroyed whatever health my ears were clinging on to, and the tinnitus has been steadily worsening since then, along with balance and vision problems.

 

[Heavy]

:(. I'm sorry. That wasn't at all my intention. I hope you can find something to distract you

Didn't mean to attack you, I see my post looks like that now. Thanks.

 

[Isadeth]

I'm not sure what all you have tried, but there are currently surgeries that can show success (my son had one with great success)... also there's hidden hearing aides that can balance the noise and prevent or lower the ringing to almost nothing. Feel free to message me if you'd like to discuss it. I'm so sorry you're enduring that. ♡

 

[WillOxyWork]

I'm not sure what all you have tried, but there are currently surgeries that can show success (my son had one with great success)... also there's hidden hearing aides that can balance the noise and prevent or lower the ringing to almost nothing. Feel free to message me if you'd like to discuss it. I'm so sorry you're enduring that. ♡

Thank you, but surgeries don't exist for noise-induced tinnitus. And yeah, I could potentially improve how I cope with the noise, but it won't change the fact that all my hobbies are effectively ruined, sounds are distorted, and I have to live in fear of loud noises for the rest of my life.

 

[WillOxyWork]

And the volume in my left ear just increased for no fucking reason a moment ago. I've been trying so hard to avoid loud noise exposure for the last 2 months and it has amounted to nothing. It just continues to worsen. I am so out of here when I get my last delivery in the mail

 

[Meditation guide]

I've had constant hissing in both ears for 30 years since I took Cipro. I'm used to it but wish for silence too which I won't get to experience ever again. It's really loud right now. It's actually the least of all my health problems.

 

[WillOxyWork]

I've had constant hissing in both ears for 30 years since I took Cipro. I'm used to it but wish for silence too which I won't get to experience ever again. It's really loud right now. It's actually the least of all my health problems.

Now I feel like I'm wrong for wanting to ctb over tinnitus

 

[the-eternal]

i also have tinnitus, along with visual snow. my senses are overwhelmed with static.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I've got it but I've also got nature sounds on when needs be. Crickets + grasshoppers suit me best. The character Baby in Baby Driver just listened to music all the time. You gotta find what works for you. It's doable.

Just don't go on any T forums or tbh keep talking for much longer about it here. It just makes it seem louder.

 

[Isadeth]

And the volume in my left ear just increased for no fucking reason a moment ago. I've been trying so hard to avoid loud noise exposure for the last 2 months and it has amounted to nothing. It just continues to worsen. I am so out of here when I get my last delivery in the mail

I'm so sorry. I my son had conductive hearing loss due to noise, as well as tinnitus. His surgery was a success. Do you have hearing loss associated with it? Have you seen multiple specialists from different clinics/hospitals that confirm there's nothing? I don't mead an audiologist. I mean I specialist that pretty much does surgeries as their profession. His was the sensorineural hearing loss as a sub diagnosis. There are also quite a bit of things to try intervention wise if that's not an option for you, and not just "biofeedback"... or "meditation".

I wasn't sure if a read or not how it happened to you? I'm sorry if you already said. Losing your interests, hobbies, and fun in general due to tinnitus is horrific. I wish to help any way I can. Or at the very least try. Nobody should live with that.

 

[WillOxyWork]

I'm so sorry. I my son had conductive hearing loss due to noise, as well as tinnitus. His surgery was a success. Do you have hearing loss associated with it? Have you seen multiple specialists from different clinics/hospitals that confirm there's nothing? I don't mead an audiologist. I mean I specialist that pretty much does surgeries as their profession. His was the sensorineural hearing loss as a sub diagnosis. There are also quite a bit of things to try intervention wise if that's not an option for you, and not just "biofeedback"... or "meditation".

I wasn't sure if a read or not how it happened to you? I'm sorry if you already said. Losing your interests, hobbies, and fun in general due to tinnitus is horrific. I wish to help any way I can. Or at the very least try. Nobody should live with that.

I've seen multiple top ENT surgeons in my area who tell me there's nothing they can do. I don't have any detectable hearing loss somehow. I don't know exactly what your son's situation was, but I know surgery is not a solution to my situation.

Sorry, I'm too lazy to rewrite, but I explained earlier in the thread how the loss happened, if you want to scroll up. I really appreciate your empathy :)

I've got it but I've also got nature sounds on when needs be. Crickets + grasshoppers suit me best. The character Baby in Baby Driver just listened to music all the time. You gotta find what works for you. It's doable.

Just don't go on any T forums or tbh keep talking for much longer about it here. It just makes it seem louder.

Masking sometimes works okay depending on the noise. But I also have pulsatile T at times which is impossible to ignore.

 

[SuicidalDream]

My tinnitus is getting worse too. I used to wear earplugs while playing amplified instruments or going to loud events. Custom earplugs that actually fit and worked well. I didn't fully realize how much damage they were preventing. I lost one and didn't wear the other for a while and that's when the tinnitus started getting bad. I've tried cheap earplugs to prevent further damage but they don't work very well compared to the custom-fitted ones. I wish the good ones weren't so expensive. Tinnitus is making my anxiety and depression so much worse and I hate myself for losing that fucking earplug.

 

[WillOxyWork]

My tinnitus is getting worse too. I used to wear earplugs while playing amplified instruments or going to loud events. Custom earplugs that actually fit and worked well. I didn't fully realize how much damage they were preventing. I lost one and didn't wear the other for a while and that's when the tinnitus started getting bad. I've tried cheap earplugs to prevent further damage but they don't work very well compared to the custom-fitted ones. I wish the good ones weren't so expensive. Tinnitus is making my anxiety and depression so much worse and I hate myself for losing that fucking earplug.

I know how you feel. I didn't have my custom earplugs within 100 miles of me when I used that pressure washer two months ago, and I regret it dearly. It's such a terrible feeling knowing how easily we could have prevented harm to our ears.

 

[Isadeth]

Again, I'm so sorry for your ailment! That is horrendous to live with! I'm also sorry for all of my spelling mistakes Haha I was not myself last night.

Anyway, I'm glad you've been proactive in your search for something to help. "Regular" ENT specialists always kept telling me there was nothing they could do. Since my son is on the spectrum It was even worse to hear that news. We found a lovely Otolaryngology/Head & Neck/Facial Plastic Surgeon. She was the 8th specialist we went to.

I'm not sure where you're at, but I know of a few even she suggested before the first initial appt. If she didn't feel confident in helping, that is. Thankfully, she was confident and able to help. She also gave us a list of things to do and try preop. My son's was due to a medical illness that seemed to prey on hearing. First, it was tinnitus, then came the actual hearing loss.

I absolutely have empathy, and I wish you nothing but the best. That is horrific to live with and my heart goes out to you. My first instinct, especially being a mom on this forum, is to help lol so I'm very sorry if it came off as anything different than that.

Surgery is successful in over 50% of cases, so I believed it was worth a shot, especially since not doing surgery pretty much leaves you where you are anyway. Same with the "hearing devices" that are available to almost drown out the constant ringing. But! I also understand if you don't want to go down the route. It's scary.

I just woke up, and it's not even 6a.m. here yet, so I haven't had a chance to find your cause, so I do apologize. I definitely will be looking.

I really hope you find answers and don't give up on your search for a treatment that works for you. I know how awful and daunting is it to constantly have doctors give up on you or tell you there's nothing they can do. I admire your ability to continue on thus far with life.

I know that I don't want to continue, and I do not have tinnitus. I have different ailments that make me want to ctb, but for now I'm here. I don't post too often anymore, so if you want to discuss anything my son's doctor suggested preop, I'm here for you and you can PM me.

Again, my heart goes out to you and I hope you're able to find answers and a treatment that works for you!

Jeez, this was a longer post than I intended, but I hope it reaches you well. ♡

Edited numerous times to add, as my mind is going a million miles a minute lol ♡

 

[BridgeJumper]

Im so sorry for you!!! :'o
People dont realize how debilitating these conditions can be
I have a noise injury that left me not only with tinnitus but also hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound) and attacks of vertigo. Ive seen doctors about it and they claim its in my head. I live my entire life high on painkillers sitting in isolated places like under bridges, in bushes and in quiet rooms because everyday sounds give me unbearable ear pain and ringing, and make my head spin for hours sometimes. Its hell!

 

[Deleted member 17949]

A surprising number of people here seem to have these kind of issues

 

[Isadeth]

Im so sorry for you!!! :'o
People dont realize how debilitating these conditions can be
I have a noise injury that left me not only with tinnitus but also hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound) and attacks of vertigo. Ive seen doctors about it and they claim its in my head. I live my entire life high on painkillers sitting in isolated places like under bridges, in bushes and in quiet rooms because everyday sounds give me unbearable ear pain and ringing, and make my head spin for hours sometimes. Its hell!

I HATE the assumption it's "all in your head"... basically lingo for, "I have no idea what's wrong, it can't be me as a doctor, it has to be you."

Even after I broke my neck and constantly suffer migraines coupled with everyday headaches, many still had the audacity to say this. Now I have lesions on my brain from the constant pain... as if the broken neck and imaging weren't enough for proof of a real ailment.

There's a reason for the term dubbed, "suicide headaches".

 

[BridgeJumper]

Exactly.
God, how I HATE uneducated medical professionals. And I hate having no money to see someone that actually has knowledge on the subject
Theyre the reason why I need to just suffer everyday with this

 

[Isadeth]

Exactly.
God, how I HATE uneducated medical professionals. And I hate having no money to see someone that actually has knowledge on the subject
Theyre the reason why I need to just suffer everyday with this

What do you suffer with if you don't mind me asking?

I love this community, it's a rainbow of ailments, reasons, and support.

This pandemic ruined my chances of seeing an empathetic doctor that is old school and actually listens to their patients. It's one thing to dismiss a patient and possibly refer them out to a different specialist that MIGHT help, it's a completely different feeling when they dismiss you AND tell you it's all in your head.

Like really? I wouldn't be here if it was all in my head you ass. I had a psychiatrist tell me my sexual assualt was MY fault. He left for awhile, but now he's my doctor again. I need to find a new doctor, and I can, but it's daunting starting over. He doesn't even believe in the science behind my DNA testing for psych meds. I purchase the ones I've already cycled through and through them in the trash.

I'm so sorry you were told it's all in your head. I understand. And it's NOT! Then these people wonder why the suicide rate is climbing.

In a perfect world, most doctors that say that will be charged with neglectful homicide should their pt ctb under their care.

 

[scubaguy]

I have it one ear that comes and goes but most of the time I do not notice it. But if I do notice end up concentrating on it and hearing it for awhile

 

[WillOxyWork]

Again, I'm so sorry for your ailment! That is horrendous to live with! I'm also sorry for all of my spelling mistakes Haha I was not myself last night.

Anyway, I'm glad you've been proactive in your search for something to help. "Regular" ENT specialists always kept telling me there was nothing they could do. Since my son is on the spectrum It was even worse to hear that news. We found a lovely Otolaryngology/Head & Neck/Facial Plastic Surgeon. She was the 8th specialist we went to.

I'm not sure where you're at, but I know of a few even she suggested before the first initial appt. If she didn't feel confident in helping, that is. Thankfully, she was confident and able to help. She also gave us a list of things to do and try preop. My son's was due to a medical illness that seemed to prey on hearing. First, it was tinnitus, then came the actual hearing loss.

I absolutely have empathy, and I wish you nothing but the best. That is horrific to live with and my heart goes out to you. My first instinct, especially being a mom on this forum, is to help lol so I'm very sorry if it came off as anything different than that.

Surgery is successful in over 50% of cases, so I believed it was worth a shot, especially since not doing surgery pretty much leaves you where you are anyway. Same with the "hearing devices" that are available to almost drown out the constant ringing. But! I also understand if you don't want to go down the route. It's scary.

I just woke up, and it's not even 6a.m. here yet, so I haven't had a chance to find your cause, so I do apologize. I definitely will be looking.

I really hope you find answers and don't give up on your search for a treatment that works for you. I know how awful and daunting is it to constantly have doctors give up on you or tell you there's nothing they can do. I admire your ability to continue on thus far with life.

I know that I don't want to continue, and I do not have tinnitus. I have different ailments that make me want to ctb, but for now I'm here. I don't post too often anymore, so if you want to discuss anything my son's doctor suggested preop, I'm here for you and you can PM me.

Again, my heart goes out to you and I hope you're able to find answers and a treatment that works for you!

Jeez, this was a longer post than I intended, but I hope it reaches you well. ♡

Edited numerous times to add, as my mind is going a million miles a minute lol ♡

Isadeth, thank you so much for your kind words. It really, really means a lot. It seems surgery worked for your son because it was due to a legitimate illness. My tinnitus is from damage from noise exposure - it's simply not operable.

I'm 2 months into my tinnitus journey so far. Although it seems like ages and these have been the worst 2 months of my life in a long time, apparently 2 months is still really early for tinnitus sufferers. I've spent some time on tinnitus support forums and they keep telling me to hang in there and give it time. People like you and some of my close friends are trying so hard not to let me give up, so I've decided to give myself just a little more time before I ctb, even though I have all my SN materials now.

Im so sorry for you!!! :'o
People dont realize how debilitating these conditions can be
I have a noise injury that left me not only with tinnitus but also hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound) and attacks of vertigo. Ive seen doctors about it and they claim its in my head. I live my entire life high on painkillers sitting in isolated places like under bridges, in bushes and in quiet rooms because everyday sounds give me unbearable ear pain and ringing, and make my head spin for hours sometimes. Its hell!

Ugh, that is so awful. I've had single bad bout of vertigo about a month ago , so I've done a lot of research on the subject. Your symptoms sound exactly like vestibular hyperacusis, which is a fucking brutal condition. I don't know what can be done about it, but if you can, try to find a doctor who knows about vestibular hyperacusis.