Venting FUCK MYSELF

[Doemu]

Yesterday I tried to choke myself with a tape around my mouth and my nose.

Didn't worked cause I couldn't full close the upper side of my nose so I could barely breathe a bit of air.

Most of people would panic with only that small breathing, but I'm used to meditate and almost stop my breathing so I know that wasn't going to kill me.

The only thing is could earn could be brain damage so I had to stop.

I had the will if dying in a choke, suffering, no matter what and I had to stop.

I should be death. FUCK. I SHOULD BE DEATH.

Today I thought, well I just need to learn about hanging and choke my self with the belt tied to the window grill.

I wasted all my fucking day. Instead of studying how to hang myself, I WASTED all my day.

WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING.

WHY THE FUCK I'M LIVING WHEN I WANT TO SUICIDE.

I'm scared of wasting another day. I'm to much scared. It's horrifying.

I have panic. Completely fear.

I NOT AFRAID OF DEATH OR PAIN OR SUFFERING. I'M AFRAID OF SELF EXCUSES THAT MADE ME LIVE.

Why I didn't attempt today again!?

WHY!? FUCKING WHY!?

I have no fear, I know I'm not going to chicken out.

So what? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?

I'm fucking late with my date to death. I'm not supposed to be writing here this. Not supposed to vent anymore.

I need to be a death body throw into the floor.

I HATE ME. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

Oh Doemu I am so sorry you're going through much suffering :[ I wish there was something I could do. I can relate a lot with the death date, I shouldn't be here typing this. Sending lot of hugs

 

[Doemu]

Oh Doemu I am so sorry you're going through much suffering :[ I wish there was something I could do. I can relate a lot with the death date, I shouldn't be here typing this. Sending lot of hugs
View attachment 129948

You are doing more than you can even imagine. I just don't deserve to someone so kind as you to care about me. I feel bad about making hurt to you. I know I'm being selfish. Sorry. I'm really glad that I could meet you before dying.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

Oh Doemu I am so sorry you're going through much suffering :[ I wish there was something I could do. I can relate a lot with the death date, I shouldn't be here typing this. Sending lot of hugs

you must be exhausted from the other day!

@Doemu: i hope you feel better.

 

[Malaria]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it breaks my heart when I see people suffer so much like this. I hope you can find relief from your pain.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

You are doing more than you can even imagine. I just don't deserve to someone so kind as you to care about me. I feel bad about making hurt to you. I know I'm being selfish. Sorry. I'm really glad that I could meet you before dying.

Awh you're not being selfish at all and there's no need to be sorry I'm very glad to meet someone like you as well before I die, I'm going to miss you so much Doemu I just wish you didn't have to go through all this torment, I want to take it all away from you. Also I love that version of that gif :'>

 

[Enigma the orange]

You two should date

 

[Doemu]

Awh you're not being selfish at all and there's no need to be sorry I'm very glad to meet someone like you as well before I die, I'm going to miss you so much Doemu I just wish you didn't have to go through all this torment, I want to take it all away from you. Also I love that version of that gif :'>
View attachment 129958

You are ever too kind with me . I just Wana hug you and don't leave I will find more cute gifs for a cute person like you.