Venting fuck it, rant about my life

[playd3ad.]

nothing feels fucking right, it never does. i'm stuck in the shittiest family, slowly losing the one person in it whom i trust, i have parents who just dont seem to care, or at least one of them's too fucked up to care the right way. i'm fucking scared. i'm so fucking angry at everyone, i was bound like this from BIRTH, i'm only gonna end a tragedy, maybe then people still won't fucking care. i hate being in long distance relationships, i want my boyfriend, i wanna be okay. i want him to show me it's okay. and even now i'm scared he'll stop caring, i'm scared he'll lose interest. problems left and right. ugh.

wanna know who i h8? people who act like people dealing w murderous ideals / urges will actually act on it.

i don't want to.

i'm not a psychopath.

i just wanna stop being shut out, forced to bottle everything up before i crack.