Angst Filled Fuck Up
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2018
- 2,933
Mental health is one thing. Yeah if it sucks, it sucks. But what about people with invisible illness? Shit, I always had depression, but I never wanted to actually off myself before I came down with an invisible illness. You think my family has any idea what I go through? Nope. Zero. Nothing. They talk like I can go anywhere, do anything, study, get a job, take vacations. Absolutely unreal, the sheer disconnect between my day to day and what those around me think I can do.
For context, my older brother has three properties and is a college professor. I'm a disabled freak with no life and a part time Uber gig, otherwise supported by my father. When he goes, the vast majority of my income does too, not like I even want to live off my dad at 38 years old. To hell with that shit.
Having an invisible illness means of course you don't qualify for anything resembling disability. I won't get a dime from anyone. Once my father dies, I do too. That's it. I have run up $30k worth of medical debt trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Absolutely nothing shows on any test. Can you even believe it? Fuck. Although fuck is putting it mildly. If I had the gumption I would blow my brains out right here, right now.
Fuck. I am drunk again. I don't even give a shit. Nobody knows what it is like to be me. This is why I must die.
For context, my older brother has three properties and is a college professor. I'm a disabled freak with no life and a part time Uber gig, otherwise supported by my father. When he goes, the vast majority of my income does too, not like I even want to live off my dad at 38 years old. To hell with that shit.
Having an invisible illness means of course you don't qualify for anything resembling disability. I won't get a dime from anyone. Once my father dies, I do too. That's it. I have run up $30k worth of medical debt trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Absolutely nothing shows on any test. Can you even believe it? Fuck. Although fuck is putting it mildly. If I had the gumption I would blow my brains out right here, right now.
Fuck. I am drunk again. I don't even give a shit. Nobody knows what it is like to be me. This is why I must die.