dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
I've been living the best weeks of my life, it's been 25, 26 weeks of complete recovery from my depression and awful feelings.
Now I'm dealing with reality.
I've lost 20 years in recovery where I didn't learn to prosper in life, or even be good at my job so I've been changing jobs and now I'm not great at what I do and I risk losing my job, and since in not great won't be easy getting another one, unless I'm lucky like I've been before.
Today I've been remembering how my family didn't helped me in those 20 years, well my mom did, only her. My father, I hate him today because of that.
During my depression I couldn't work, I've begged them to buy some Bitcoin , and that could've save me from my current financial situation, today they are having money issues too, and they complain, so I tell them that they shouldn't complain with me, they didn't did what I begged them to do.
The worst part, what's really knocking me down, is I don't know what / how / what will I do?
I'm not 18, so going to school and learn and start over is not an option.
I'm 37.... I'm fine now.... but the lack of knowledge or opportunity might take me back to consider ctbing? Gosh what an awful thought. I didn't consider ctbing an option for the last 25 weeks and I'm now thinking about it again , fuck it!
Fuck my dad , Im really feeling evil towards him
:(
Wishing him the worst , but I'm the one who lost 20 years of his life and now I'm just seeing the situation I'm in.
Damm it. Don't know what to do....
Now I'm dealing with reality.
I've lost 20 years in recovery where I didn't learn to prosper in life, or even be good at my job so I've been changing jobs and now I'm not great at what I do and I risk losing my job, and since in not great won't be easy getting another one, unless I'm lucky like I've been before.
Today I've been remembering how my family didn't helped me in those 20 years, well my mom did, only her. My father, I hate him today because of that.
During my depression I couldn't work, I've begged them to buy some Bitcoin , and that could've save me from my current financial situation, today they are having money issues too, and they complain, so I tell them that they shouldn't complain with me, they didn't did what I begged them to do.
The worst part, what's really knocking me down, is I don't know what / how / what will I do?
I'm not 18, so going to school and learn and start over is not an option.
I'm 37.... I'm fine now.... but the lack of knowledge or opportunity might take me back to consider ctbing? Gosh what an awful thought. I didn't consider ctbing an option for the last 25 weeks and I'm now thinking about it again , fuck it!
Fuck my dad , Im really feeling evil towards him
:(
Wishing him the worst , but I'm the one who lost 20 years of his life and now I'm just seeing the situation I'm in.
Damm it. Don't know what to do....