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  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

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GeneralPanda199

GeneralPanda199

Member
Feb 1, 2023
8
I'm not used to writing in forums, so forgive me if i'm writting out of place here, but i wanted to try document and write stuff in my life more often, i tried it a couple of times when i was desperate to vent and it sort of helped. I love seeing nice people supporting each other :)

Anyways though, for months i've been struggling with my own life, since i already gotten done with my studies but haven't managed to find a job, not only cause it's hard to find jobs where i am (Even though i live in one of the biggest urban centers in my country), but also cause i've struggled for a long time with lacking motivation. A lot of days i would just end up rotting away and sleeping in bed all day. I've always been very introvert, possibly borderline anti-social to be honest... But now as i'm due to make 24 years in a few months, i feel like my unwilingness to interact with people irl, and even online until a few years ago, has pushed me out of a lot of things i may not be able to do, since once you're older i feel like it becomes harder for you to find ways to make actual friends, irl cause you don't have many opportunities to do so, and online since most people online are gonna be younger than you no matter where you are.

One issue i had is that despite keeping in contact with some of my friends in high school, since i started dealing with my motivational problem, i've started to just ignoring them since i would be that bad, one of them i ended up just straight up removing him from my contacts list out of impulse since at one point he was spamming me with stuff, he's a good friend but it did annoyed me sometimes. Thankfully i've actually gathered the courage to get back in contact with some of them. They were 2 friends from class that i would spend the most time with, we played games and studied together, we would often go out too, even after high school. We played some VRChat, which i never actually played before since i rarely do games that have that social aspect like MMORPGs, but it did actually felt great! Despite still having troubles like sleeping at a good time and just having good habits in general, i noticed that i have a lot less problems with getting out of bed, i try going on walks more often too, even if it's just around the block or something.

Sometimes i feel like it's too late for me to change, especially with all the different objectives i wanna try to achieve (Loosing weight make new friends get better money managment skills), i still feel like i atleast should try... Maybe everything ends up going south, maybe it won't, either way i feel like i should give it a try.

Altough i'm more of a lurker rather than an active user on this forum, i really do hope people around find a way to change their lives for the better. I know my situation isn't as bad or extreme as a lot of people here struggle with, so i probably can't resonate with some of you, but i do wish the best of luck to you guys, and if death ends up being the only choice, i hope that you're able to find peace in your next life. Not a religious person but i think that there's likely something after death, my guess would be reincarnation but who knows?

Hope that i do well :D. I would like to documenting more in the future, sort of like journaling maybe but i feel like it's even more silly if you're writting it to yourself. Let me know if i wrote this well, i'll be honest, everytime i try writting paragraphs like these i always feel like i'm just yapping about nothing XD.

Thanks for reading
 
mysticatedwine

mysticatedwine

rotting autistic sun
Mar 4, 2025
47
Aww, that's awesome! I used to meet some really awesome people on VRChat back in the days. I'm glad you got to use it to reunite with the homiesđź«‚

And yeah, aimless walks are awesome. I think they've helped me a lot during one of my most depressed phases, I would just walk around in the little nature we had around our block. It felt so refreshing to get my head out of my tiny room and feel the wind for a bit.
 

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