Help friend says they want to kill themselves

[abchia]

I have a irl close friend who has a habit of messaging to me (in normal conversation) that they want to kill themselves, usually when something bad happens to them. I'm pretty sure this is a common saying, which is the problem. I don't know how to react when they say this because I don't want to brush it aside (theyve been through a lot before) in case they want comforting or something, but I also don't want to take it too seriously because it could just be an exaggerated reaction and maybe they don't actually want me to take their words as they are.

What do you guys usually respond with? I have a habit of responding with "please don't", because this is generally a socially acceptable response for both cases where theyre serious and also not serious, but I hate saying this because it's ignorant to tell someone they should keep living because I don't know everything about them.

 

[enduringwinter]

I think it's not normal to say it repeatedly. Normal people usually say "I want to die" when bad things happen or "gonna kms" as a joke, not straight up "I want to kill myself". It's likely safe to say they want comforting. I'd respond with some variation of "yeah life's so unfair" "wish you didn't have to feel that way"

 

[Kalista]

then talk to him. stop making assumptions and going back and forth about what to do and just ask and talk so you know what's really going on. really try to understand why he feels that way and show it. you already know not to throw words like "please, don't," so don't, because it's not about you, it's about him.