Venting Forever without love

[dory]

I feel like my entire life all of my emotions have revolved around love and how badly I seek it. I've always wanted to love the world and the people in it but growing up i was discouraged because my family is catholic and I was told not to fall in love with this world and to only love God, don't want to go too much in to detail because I don't want this to be a story. Since I have only wanted love my entire life everyone just sees me as weak and vulnerable so I am constantly taken advantage of. I try not to let others take away my softness but it gets hard. I grew up catholic now I just see myself going deeper into nihilism. Im forever trapped and doomed and CTB seems like the only way out now.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so horrible how humans are so unnecessarily cruel in this world, it must be painful feeling trapped in that situation. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[dory]

It's so horrible how humans are so unnecessarily cruel in this world, it must be painful feeling trapped in that situation. But anyway I wish you the best.

Thank you for the kind words :)

 

[cicadafriend]

Letting yourself love people or the world is scary especially if you have religious/abuse/sexual etc related trauma. I empathize with you. Wishing you the best

 

[sadanon3]

since I was little I've dreamt of the love you describe. I think it is extremely rare and most people either don't seek it or have learned to live without it. I think those of us who still wish for it are in for a rough time.

 

[MrDarkness]

I'd keep living if I just heard someone say they love me, that's all I want, but that can't happen. Love is a curse and it isn't real

 

[Slasher]

if you chase butterflies they will just fly away but if you build a beautiful garden the butterflies will come to you and if they don't you at least have a beautiful garden. if you don't love and improve yourself you will most likely not love or find love in the world or in others. I was forced into Islam from birth and this ruined me for most of life, I was constantly told that what I build or achieve in this world will not matter once I am in my grave so I should only worship and care about god. so I was a fat, depressed, loveless kid that only had academic achievements going for him. I started self improvement and I'm even more depressed but at least I have the things I always wished for. I wish you the best of luck <3

 

[dory]

if you chase butterflies they will just fly away but if you build a beautiful garden the butterflies will come to you and if they don't you at least have a beautiful garden. if you don't love and improve yourself you will most likely not love or find love in the world or in others.

thank you so much for this usually I have a hard time with imagery when people say things like this but this was beautiful. Ill keep trying because right now i don't think its my time to go, thank you again :)