Discussion For those who got their depression treated: did the thoughts of CTB ever go away?

[PhotObama]

I am at my wits end. I can't keep a job due to lacking motivation to come in. I'm looking for work but I keep getting rejected. I'm drowning in debt. My family has disowned me and I have no friends. My fiancee left me a week ago and now I have nothing to live for. I live alone. I have nothing and no one. The last time I felt anything was when I got hit by a car last month and was found unconscious by a jogger. I laid in that hospital bed broken and alone. If I seek therapy or professional help will these thoughts of CTB go away?

 

[Melly]

Not with therapy or antidepressants alone, no. It takes a lot. What you really need to do most importantly is to find connections and people to care about, in my opinion. Friends, found family etc. Loneliness kills. I hope you can get out of this situation soon. You don't have much to lose so you might as well fight for your life. Good luck

 

[SVEN]

Some years of "treatment" & drugs didn't help me any and now, years later, I'm still just going through the motions. However, I do know of others who found qualified mental health professionals and appropriate medication of great assistance. So, I'd say that for some therapy & meds can be of great assistance.
If you haven't given it a go thus far I'd certainly say, what have you got to lose by giving it a go if available. If treatment fails you're no worse off, if it succeeds you may have your life back.
Best wishes whatever you decide.

 

[Gone soon]

No. Never did, never will

 

[Hollowman]

Some years of "treatment" & drugs didn't help me any and now, years later, I'm still just going through the motions. However, I do know of others who found qualified mental health professionals and appropriate medication of great assistance. So, I'd say that for some therapy & meds can be of great assistance.
If you haven't given it a go thus far I'd certainly say, what have you got to lose by giving it a go if available. If treatment fails you're no worse off, if it succeeds you may have your life back.
Best wishes whatever you decide.

No worse off huh? Tell that to people with TD, PSSD and many other permanent side effects.

 

[SVEN]

No worse off huh? Tell that to people with TD, PSSD and many other permanent side effects.

We can each only speak as we have experienced. You have your experiences, I have mine. The OP can consider each and make their own decision.

 

[areyousafe??]

Once I got on antidepressants, the thoughts of CTB definitely lessened. If I had combined it with therapy, that might have even been better. Please try getting professional help first before resorting to this.

 

[PhotObama]

Once I got on antidepressants, the thoughts of CTB definitely lessened. If I had combined it with therapy, that might have even been better. Please try getting professional help first before resorting to this.

I just never knew how to get help. I tried to get therapy once but the therapist never followed our schedule and we never spoke once. Is it by speaking to a therapist you can get prescribed antidepressants?

Not with therapy or antidepressants alone, no. It takes a lot. What you really need to do most importantly is to find connections and people to care about, in my opinion. Friends, found family etc. Loneliness kills. I hope you can get out of this situation soon. You don't have much to lose so you might as well fight for your life. Good luck

Thanks, it's just so hard to change the lonely mindset. I spent most of my life balancing 1 or 2 friends and usually spent my time alone. I have no idea how or where to make friends now but I'll try.

 

[areyousafe??]

I just never knew how to get help. I tried to get therapy once but the therapist never followed our schedule and we never spoke once. Is it by speaking to a therapist you can get prescribed antidepressants?

I went directly to my doctor, and he referred me to a psychiatrist, who put me on antidepressants straight away. From where I'm from, therapists can't prescribe antidepressants, they can only be prescribed by a doctor or a psychiatrist. It took about 6 weeks before it started fully working, but it definitely improved my low mood (also SH and CTB thoughts). Are you able to speak with a doctor and see whether he/she can get you on antidepressants? TBH, my depression was so bad when it started (late teens) that I doubt therapy alone would have helped.

 

[Kobusu]

I am at my wits end. I can't keep a job due to lacking motivation to come in. I'm looking for work but I keep getting rejected. I'm drowning in debt. My family has disowned me and I have no friends. My fiancee left me a week ago and now I have nothing to live for. I live alone. I have nothing and no one. The last time I felt anything was when I got hit by a car last month and was found unconscious by a jogger. I laid in that hospital bed broken and alone. If I seek therapy or professional help will these thoughts of CTB go away?

Definitely not just with medication and therapy. For me, it required a change of environment, and even then I'm lucky I didn't drown after being essentially thrown headfirst into adulthood with pills to my name. The feelings aren't always there anymore though, they really just come in periods or waves almost. Sometimes I get the urge back for weeks, sometimes only hours. It never truly goes away, but it's surprisingly manageable when ctb doesn't completely dominate your thoughts.

 

[TheHolySword]

No, not really. It's always there.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I can't imagine having my "depression treated" and proceeding to do menial work for decades. Not with these memories. Not with this shame. Not with all these opportunities missed.

I'm beginning to fear life more than death. Getting close.

 

[dontwakemeup]

To me, my depression is identifiable and that makes me not want medication and treatment. Yes, I've tried medication, therapy and it helped but was never enough to make me excited about living. I will always be suicidal and wish to die. The only thing that changes is if I'll be active or fantasize about it. My problem is simple, I've had so many traumatic life experiences that I just can't accept and get over, I'm consumed and haunted by them. There is never a day that I don't think of simply doing it and getting it over with.

My advice to you is do everything possible to seek help and treatment. While you're in rehab try to focus and learn something from this experience. Why go through all this just to continue to self sabotage, please try. I was homeless before and I'll do anything in my power to get up and go to work, I don't have family and cut off all my friends. I have horrible days but I don't want to be homeless again. Try to set some small goals for yourself. Maybe instead of saying I'll work at a factory, say by next year I plan to be a supervisor, manager etc. When you get that promotion it feels great. Maybe get 2 jobs just to stay busy, they money will help of course but the goal is to be occupied and less time to think. Take the medication and don't miss doses, those meds take time to get in your system. Give yourself bad days but limit them to maybe 2 days only. You have to come to a place where you can exist in this world. I'm sorry this was long but hopefully something I said may have helped.
Suicide was an option for me only when I exhausted all other options and resources. I wish you the best in your journey.

 

[maniac116]

Yes, with the correct meds & a therapist I was able to gave a feeling of hope for some time

 

[LostLily]

Medication has stabilized my mood. But the thought of CTB is always there. Sometimes it is stronger and sometimes it is weaker

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I haven't personally had meds or therapy help with persistent thoughts of CTB. The only thing that made a real impact for me was having attainable goals and connections with other people.

However I do think both meds and therapy can help indirectly if they help you get your life on track. For example ADHD meds make a huge difference in my mood and my productivity. An antidepressant also might help boost energy or be more sociable. Some therapists are good at coaching people through the various problems that come up in daily life, and help them stay on track towards life goals.

 

[isthisit?]

Best of luck with your situation. I worked through my ctb thoughts/depression on my own. It took a year or 2 and in the end the the thoughts for me are almost completely gone. They do still creep up sometimes when someone talks/mentions about ctbing/depression. Thats why Im here again. So they dont completely go away but the active thoughts do fade away.

 

[waterbed]

I was stable for about a year before my depression came back. The thoughts were definitely always there but I could just like shove them away, if that is the correct term for it. Never had any specific plans during the year, just the occasional "ill jump in front of a train".

 

[yowai]

I am at my wits end. I can't keep a job due to lacking motivation to come in. I'm looking for work but I keep getting rejected. I'm drowning in debt. My family has disowned me and I have no friends. My fiancee left me a week ago and now I have nothing to live for. I live alone. I have nothing and no one. The last time I felt anything was when I got hit by a car last month and was found unconscious by a jogger. I laid in that hospital bed broken and alone. If I seek therapy or professional help will these thoughts of CTB go away?

The thoughts will stay but lose their strength over time, for example you'll get sad sometimes and it'll come back but you won't feel that way all the time anymore. You'll learn to deal with it in a healthy way and let them pass instead of consuming you. In the beginning you really have to fight against yourself though if you want to get better, because the depression is trying to make everything seem pointless and the misery is like a comfort zone.