TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,798
Here is a little technique and/or strategy (w/e you want to call it) that I used for deciding whether I am going to CTB or continue living. There are often many times in life where I find myself stuck in limbo between determining whether I will get busy preparing to CTB or get busy rebuilding in life going towards the road of recovery. My technique is simply just telling myself 'It's ok, I will do my best and play all the right cards, make the best choices that I can, and if I fail, then I can always just kill myself later on.' By allowing myself permission and the liberty of death, it is like a big burden being lifted off of me and a huge short-term confidence boost. It allows me to do the best because I know I always have a way out. This is further reinforced and strengthened by the fact I actually have a method to follow through with CTB'ing (firearm).
Therefore, my most recent example is back over a month when I was travelling, I told myself, "if things goes well, I'll live, but if things go to shit, I'll just kill myself later on, in May 2019". Luckily, since things went very well, I've went on the path of recovery and went from being actively suicidal to just passively suicidal. Finally, I disagree with people who say that if someone thinks about suicide, then they won't give their best efforts and would just be demotivated. (Might be true for some people, but not all). That's a myth and it's far from the truth, if anything, I feel enlightened, confident (even if temporary), and motivated to just give everything I have since I know that I have a way out, so the worst case (which is the best case actually) is free from this shitty existence while the best case is having renewed tolerance and ambition to live a bit longer.
Hopefully, this will help some of you on the edge or fence between living or ctbing, or maybe even give you the strength to go towards recovery.
Therefore, my most recent example is back over a month when I was travelling, I told myself, "if things goes well, I'll live, but if things go to shit, I'll just kill myself later on, in May 2019". Luckily, since things went very well, I've went on the path of recovery and went from being actively suicidal to just passively suicidal. Finally, I disagree with people who say that if someone thinks about suicide, then they won't give their best efforts and would just be demotivated. (Might be true for some people, but not all). That's a myth and it's far from the truth, if anything, I feel enlightened, confident (even if temporary), and motivated to just give everything I have since I know that I have a way out, so the worst case (which is the best case actually) is free from this shitty existence while the best case is having renewed tolerance and ambition to live a bit longer.
Hopefully, this will help some of you on the edge or fence between living or ctbing, or maybe even give you the strength to go towards recovery.