Venting For those of you with chronic health issues

[hoodymend]

Hey everyone. My ctb ideations kind of came on when I became very ill from a set of life altering conditions (CFS, POTS, mast cell activation, brain fog, nerve pain etc). I was never a fully happy person before this but I was … regular? But I never wanted to ctb until my health deteriorated.

The thing is, I don't "WANT" to die. But I don't want to live like this, and these conditions are all lifelong. It's painful to mourn for what my life used to be and all the things im missing out on now and the plans for my life that I won't be able to achieve. I cry everyday about this, on top of the horrible symptoms each day.

I've given up on living life, because I'm not expecting myself to be alive in a month or two. I'm not going out unless forced, not socializing, not eating. I'm basically just on my phone in bed all day just watching videos to escape from my reality.

It's just terrible though because I'd do anything to be healthy and get my life back on track. I'm not someone who believes that life is hell and that death is better. I just can't live this life of physical and emotional pain anymore. Do any other chronic health sufferers relate to this?

 

[explorer]

Same here. Chronic Sinusitis just ruined my life. It caused all round destruction. It reduced the quality of my life greatly. I just don't want to live

 

[Jarni]

Same for me also.... Long Covid since 2020.... with lots of physical damages to nerves, muscles etc.... (the worst part....)... So much of sadness.....

Same here. Chronic Sinusitis just ruined my life. It caused all round destruction. It reduced the quality of my life greatly. I just don't want to live

Sorry for your situation, just wanted to say that I also have chronic sinusitis for many years and only strong diet helps (but it really helps) : no eggs, no sugars, no fermented foods (wines, cheeses etc....). Maybe you already tried everything, but who knows.

 

[Defenestration]

Même bipolaire/phobie sociale sévère/anxiété généralisée/borderline

mon petit ami est mort, ma mère est atteinte d'Alzheimer

Life IS not Bad but all that happens

 

[Not a Cylon]

The thing is, I don't "WANT" to die. But I don't want to live like this, and these conditions are all lifelong. It's painful to mourn for what my life used to be and all the things im missing out on now and the plans for my life that I won't be able to achieve. I cry everyday about this, on top of the horrible symptoms each day.

I'm terribly sorry to read about how this is all impacting you. Living with changes to your body that you never asked for is so, so fucking hard. You mourn the life you had and thought you were going to have. Memories are haunting. You feel so disconnected to the self because you know you're still inside there but… adrift.

I'm not living in your shoes but I understand the mindset and how challenging it all is. I see you friend, your pain isn't going unnoticed and I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

 

[vesisika]

I'm also chronicly ill, have been since 2yrs old. It doesn't cause me that much physical pain but it's draining. So tirening. I feel you.

 

[hoodymend]

I'm terribly sorry to read about how this is all impacting you. Living with changes to your body that you never asked for is so, so fucking hard. You mourn the life you had and thought you were going to have. Memories are haunting. You feel so disconnected to the self because you know you're still inside there but… adrift.

I'm not living in your shoes but I understand the mindset and how challenging it all is. I see you friend, your pain isn't going unnoticed and I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

Thank you.

 

[justwannadip]

Hey everyone. My ctb ideations kind of came on when I became very ill from a set of life altering conditions (CFS, POTS, mast cell activation, brain fog, nerve pain etc). I was never a fully happy person before this but I was … regular? But I never wanted to ctb until my health deteriorated.

The thing is, I don't "WANT" to die. But I don't want to live like this, and these conditions are all lifelong. It's painful to mourn for what my life used to be and all the things im missing out on now and the plans for my life that I won't be able to achieve. I cry everyday about this, on top of the horrible symptoms each day.

I've given up on living life, because I'm not expecting myself to be alive in a month or two. I'm not going out unless forced, not socializing, not eating. I'm basically just on my phone in bed all day just watching videos to escape from my reality.

It's just terrible though because I'd do anything to be healthy and get my life back on track. I'm not someone who believes that life is hell and that death is better. I just can't live this life of physical and emotional pain anymore. Do any other chronic health sufferers relate to this?

I relate but due to mental health conditions, and a lot of them