For parents !

[Detour]

I'm still somewhat young and I love my parents and they love me and give me amazing support. However I plan to Ctb soon for other reasons I will not disclose. So my question to you parents is if your child ctb and left multiple pages ridding you from any fault in it, would it at least give you some closure or peace? I know losing a child hurts more than losing a parent. I came to terms realizing it will put them in a lot of agony and pain but it's something I want to do. That's why I plan on leaving each one of my family members a sort of goodbye note that's gonna be as long as a novel talking about memories we had and how it's not their fault. I don't want to leave them a half assed note. Any feedback welcome thank you

 

[Detour]

I'm still somewhat young and I love my parents and they love me and give me amazing support. However I plan to Ctb soon for other reasons I will not disclose. So my question to you parents is if your child ctb and left multiple pages ridding you from any fault in it, would it at least give you some closure or peace? I know losing a child hurts more than losing a parent. I came to terms realizing it will put them in a lot of agony and pain but it's something I want to do. That's why I plan on leaving each one of my family members a sort of goodbye note that's gonna be as long as a novel talking about memories we had and how it's not their fault. I don't want to leave them a half assed note. Any feedback welcome thank you

Bump

 

[Detour]

Bump

Bump . Please ,anything

 

[SinisterKid]

I honestly dont think there is anything that anyone could do or say that could relieve the pain of losing a child. My partner has a son who I have known for 35 years and he is like my own and if he died, by his own hand or by accident or natural causes, we would both be devastated to the point where, speaking for myself, I would probably spiral out of control again and end up trying to join him.

I know that is not probably what you would like to hear right now, but its the truth. I wont ask you not to do this, but I would ask if you have explored every single avenue that is open to you that might lead to a way out of whatever predicament you might find yourself in?

 

[Detour]

Thabk

I honestly dont think there is anything that anyone could do or say that could relieve the pain of losing a child. My partner has a son who I have known for 35 years and he is like my own and if he died, by his own hand or by accident or natural causes, we would both be devastated to the point where, speaking for myself, I would probably spiral out of control again and end up trying to join him.

I know that is not probably what you would like to hear right now, but its the truth. I wont ask you not to do this, but I would ask if you have explored every single avenue that is open to you that might lead to a way out of whatever predicament you might find yourself in?

Thank you for the response I really appreciate it. Yes that is my biggest fear. The reason I say that is because of my mom who also has depression, and I fear it will destroy her and she will want to take her own life. Which would leave my dad without his son and wife and he is the last person on this earth who deserves that kind of torment. They are the only people keeping me from ctb. I have two younger sisters but I know they'll manage just fine. its become everyday where I plan out how I ctb and when and what I'll leave in this notes. I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[SinisterKid]

I realise that you cannot live a life for or through your parents, it has to be your life on your terms. You will find a enormous amount of compassion and empathy here whatever your decision is. If you honestly believe that your death would lead to more devastation, then maybe, just maybe there is some way you can find a way to keep going in such a way that is acceptable?

 

[Detour]

I realise that you cannot live a life for or through your parents, it has to be your life on your terms. You will find a enormous amount of compassion and empathy here whatever your decision is. If you honestly believe that your death would lead to more devastation, then maybe, just maybe there is some way you can find a way to keep going in such a way that is acceptable?

Yup, throughout the day I go through a "I don't care what happens after" mood and I "I don't want to them anymore hurt" mood. Each day I'm leaning more and more towards the I don't care and I can't help it. The feeling of guilt isn't there. That may sound really shitty to do that to my family but If I want out of this god forsaken planet then I should be able to. I know you said there is nothing I could do or say that will help ease their pain. But the way I see it is I've seen articles on other suicides and they never even left a note or a clue as to why they did it. I want to leave a seperate note almost like a short book for each family member talking about the good times we had and they had nothing to do with it and there was nothing they could do and that I am at peace now. I know the pain might still be the same but I don't want to leave them clueless. Thank you again for talking to me, it's better than me being left alone drowning in my own thoughts !!

 

[SinisterKid]

No worries, you have obviously given it all a great deal of thought and I respect whatever choices you make regarding your own destiny.

 

[Stan]

Have to agree with sinister. As a parent I would be looking all round for reasons even if they were clearly articulated. Every parent wants their child to be a better version of themselves. Sadly this ambition at times can be a bit overwhelming. Ultimately they want what is best for you, sometimes this conflicts with what you believe is best for you. What comes after is out of your control. Just make sure you do your best to explain to them why you did it. make sure that you relieve them of guilt with statements such as "I did everything possible to hide how I feel as I know it would have worried you and that alone would make how I feel worse". I think a parent would look inwardly at some point and see if the blame was with them. It is fantastic that this is in your thoughts and I hope you find a way to get your message across and unburden your family from having too many unanswered questions.

 

[Detour]

Have to agree with sinister. As a parent I would be looking all round for reasons even if they were clearly articulated. Every parent wants their child to be a better version of themselves. Sadly this ambition at times can be a bit overwhelming. Ultimately they want what is best for you, sometimes this conflicts with what you believe is best for you. What comes after is out of your control. Just make sure you do your best to explain to them why you did it. make sure that you relieve them of guilt with statements such as "I did everything possible to hide how I feel as I know it would have worried you and that alone would make how I feel worse". I think a parent would look inwardly at some point and see if the blame was with them. It is fantastic that this is in your thoughts and I hope you find a way to get your message across and unburden your family from having too many unanswered questions.

Thank you, I have already started brainstorming ideas already on how I will write out each note and what things to say. I will explain why I did it and give them all reasons why they weren't at fault. i have soon some articles online about how police confiscate suicide notes ? That's my main concern, if it is true I will leave a decoy for them and hide the real ones in their drawers or desks

 

[Stan]

i have soon some articles online about how police confiscate suicide notes ? That's my main concern, if it is true I will leave a decoy for them and hide the real ones in their drawers or desks

post an original in the old fashioned mail system, time it so it arrives a day or two later

 

[Final Escape]

God that's so sad :( I know u feel u have to go. What's especially going to shock them is because u have such a good relationship with them. It's one thing if u had a terrible relationship with your parents. Then it should come as no surprise that u decide to ctb. Anyway but I'm not judging or saying u shouldn't. I'm sure there is a damn good reason I hope.