Story First Time Trying Sertraline

[Fish On Land]

I took my first pill of 50mg of sertraline today. I think it's silly but I'm pretty scared of taking mental health medication since I've never taken them before and have no experience. I was given the pills 4 days ago but waited to take it in fear of what it could do. I have school still and since I'm one of those straight A student (at least I used to be before more things started falling apart), I was extremely paranoid that it would hinder me. I've heard that sertraline can induce tiredness and believe me, I can barely get up in the morning without anything. I've also heard that it could also make me even more suicidal and because I have massive imposter syndrome, it's hard for me to tell if things I feel are symptoms of medication or just me gaslighting myself. The placebo effect is my greatest arch-nemesis. I've tried reading experiences from others online and it's extremely mixed that I can't predict how it'll go for me. The bottom line became this "Either it works or it doesn't and it's random for everyone." Since I'm a crybaby and a worry freak, that gives me severe anxiety because my mind loves to run wild. My therapist talked about how I should focus on the possible positive effect instead of the negative effect but I can't see eye-to-eye with her on that. There's also that hidden threat that the pills won't do anything. She said, then I would have at least tried and nothing is better than something bad but I disagree. I think it's disheartening and soul-crushing whenever I try to help myself and nothing gets better. It makes me feel like a lost cause and casts a blanket of deep loneliness over me. It's like how the suicide hotline made me feel so much worse because the people on the other side sounded so lifeless and unpassionate that it all felt forced. Then I lived every day after that believing that I was alone and hopeless because prior to that, I would at least live believing that help was within the palms of my hands if only I had the courage. Now I just get a little mad whenever someone brings up that hotline as a solution to mental illness. I think I'm going to revisit this post and write about my experience with Sertraline as the days passed so other people interested can read about it and a journal entry would help me ensure I'm not imagining things.

 

[timf]

Your detailed research should be commended. Some can get themselves into a pickle by not doing enough research. It sounds like you are trying to get a handle on your fears and anxieties. This focus should help you track the effect of the medication with great detail. i think your reporting on the effects of Sertraline may be very helpful for others. Often helping others can be a way to help manage our own difficulties.

 

[chester]

I can only share my experience. Sertraline suppressed negative emotions but it didn't induce any positive ones. I felt nothing. It was worse than feeling bad, I felt dehumanized. That said, it's known to help some people, I hope you'll be the lucky one.

 

[Leiot]

Sertraline helped my mood ok but I got so light sensitive I felt like a vampire.

 

[Fish On Land]

It hasn't even been 24 hours but I think sertraline isn't for me. I took it in the morning and within 30 minutes, there's tremor in my hands and fingers. Then throughout the day, the tremor got worse. I don't know if I'm trembling throughout my whole body, part of my body other than my hands, only in my jaw, or imagining it out of fear. Because of the tremble, I keep thinking I'm cold even I'm not cold. I keep feeling like my teeth are supposed to be chattering but they are not. It's a little uncomfortable because something feels weird and out of the ordinary but the shaking by itself isn't deal breaking and I would've probably continued trying sertraline if that was the only bad thing. Right now, I'm writing the 4:40am and at this time, I should be sleeping. I went to bed at 12:30am feeling dead tired and woke up at 3:34am (probably even earlier because I didn't instantly check time to avoid letting blue light wake me up). Waking up in the middle of the night for no reason is normal for me but the trouble is I just can't go back to sleep. Usually I fall asleep within 5-20 minutes but today, nothing. Even after laying in bed for 50 minutes, still not super tired. Like I'm tired as in my eyes want to close and I want to sleep but when they are closed, they just remain close but I don't lose consciousness and go back to sleep. When I first woke up, it didn't feel normal either. Normally when I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel drowsy but because of the medication, I wake up feeling like 3:34 is my usual wake up time. It's like my body has a routine that never existed until now. I'm doing my breathing technique as I desperately try to sleep but they aren't doing anything and I can't help but feel extremely vulnerable. I'm super zoned on my heartbeat and that makes me feel super…fleshy? I've never focus on my heartbeat like that before. Normally, I don't even know if it's there and if it was, I wouldn't be mindful of it. Was it always this loud? How come I've never noticed it and suddenly now it feels like a heavy thump. It makes me think about organs and blood, like in a scary kind of way because I'm queasy. I wished the heart would stop making that obnoxious sound which is silly because if the heart stopped pumping blood, I'd be dead (although maybe not terrible if it'll be swift, painless, and take me in my sweetest dreams). That plus the trembling (I'm wrapped between two blanket like a burrito and even feeling a hot), gives me that feeling that I have no control over myself, except this time it's my body and my mind instead of just my mind. I cried for 20 minutes and the worst part is that I'm still not tired. Usually crying helps me sleep reliably but it's failing me. I cried differently too. Instead of the usual loud one time cry, I cried almost silently as tears just rolled out my eyes in 3x intervals. I say crying 1x and 3x intervals as in for 1x—I cry and feel better—but for 3 intervals—I cry, feel better, nearly stop crying, suddenly feel worse, and then go back to crying 3 times until finally feeling better. I'm an ugly crier but with the medication, I'm much quieter this way. I don't feel better mentally. I'm just quieter and won't bother someone else. It made me feel really alone like me at my worst and that there's no hope for me. I feel super distrustful of mental health right now and especially my psychiatrist. I'm so glad I didn't take this during a school day because I would still be trying to sleep, likely to no avail. 3-4 hour sleep for school absolutely sucks. I just want to sleep and my teachers would keep cramming homework and tests down my throat. My mouth also feels a little dry but that's honestly the most forgiving negative side effect. Thank you for your time. Typing whatever comes to my mind helps a ton. I'd thought I'd at least try sertraline for a week but the sleep disturbance is too much and the benefit has been nonexistent aside from making me a quieter cryer. Maybe it's not suppose to work until I've had it for longer but the negative side effect just suck. It's a shame. I think I'll just cram in video game and throw my beautiful Sunday morning away.

 

[chester]

I'm not sure what your doctor told you, but sertraline needs at least two weeks to start working properly. What you're experiencing are initial side effects. They pass.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

It hasn't even been 24 hours but I think sertraline isn't for me. I took it in the morning and within 30 minutes, there's tremor in my hands and fingers. Then throughout the day, the tremor got worse. I don't know if I'm trembling throughout my whole body, part of my body other than my hands, only in my jaw, or imagining it out of fear. Because of the tremble, I keep thinking I'm cold even I'm not cold. I keep feeling like my teeth are supposed to be chattering but they are not. It's a little uncomfortable because something feels weird and out of the ordinary but the shaking by itself isn't deal breaking and I would've probably continued trying sertraline if that was the only bad thing. Right now, I'm writing the 4:40am and at this time, I should be sleeping. I went to bed at 12:30am feeling dead tired and woke up at 3:34am (probably even earlier because I didn't instantly check time to avoid letting blue light wake me up). Waking up in the middle of the night for no reason is normal for me but the trouble is I just can't go back to sleep. Usually I fall asleep within 5-20 minutes but today, nothing. Even after laying in bed for 50 minutes, still not super tired. Like I'm tired as in my eyes want to close and I want to sleep but when they are closed, they just remain close but I don't lose consciousness and go back to sleep. When I first woke up, it didn't feel normal either. Normally when I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel drowsy but because of the medication, I wake up feeling like 3:34 is my usual wake up time. It's like my body has a routine that never existed until now. I'm doing my breathing technique as I desperately try to sleep but they aren't doing anything and I can't help but feel extremely vulnerable. I'm super zoned on my heartbeat and that makes me feel super…fleshy? I've never focus on my heartbeat like that before. Normally, I don't even know if it's there and if it was, I wouldn't be mindful of it. Was it always this loud? How come I've never noticed it and suddenly now it feels like a heavy thump. It makes me think about organs and blood, like in a scary kind of way because I'm queasy. I wished the heart would stop making that obnoxious sound which is silly because if the heart stopped pumping blood, I'd be dead (although maybe not terrible if it'll be swift, painless, and take me in my sweetest dreams). That plus the trembling (I'm wrapped between two blanket like a burrito and even feeling a hot), gives me that feeling that I have no control over myself, except this time it's my body and my mind instead of just my mind. I cried for 20 minutes and the worst part is that I'm still not tired. Usually crying helps me sleep reliably but it's failing me. I cried differently too. Instead of the usual loud one time cry, I cried almost silently as tears just rolled out my eyes in 3x intervals. I say crying 1x and 3x intervals as in for 1x—I cry and feel better—but for 3 intervals—I cry, feel better, nearly stop crying, suddenly feel worse, and then go back to crying 3 times until finally feeling better. I'm an ugly crier but with the medication, I'm much quieter this way. I don't feel better mentally. I'm just quieter and won't bother someone else. It made me feel really alone like me at my worst and that there's no hope for me. I feel super distrustful of mental health right now and especially my psychiatrist. I'm so glad I didn't take this during a school day because I would still be trying to sleep, likely to no avail. 3-4 hour sleep for school absolutely sucks. I just want to sleep and my teachers would keep cramming homework and tests down my throat. My mouth also feels a little dry but that's honestly the most forgiving negative side effect. Thank you for your time. Typing whatever comes to my mind helps a ton. I'd thought I'd at least try sertraline for a week but the sleep disturbance is too much and the benefit has been nonexistent aside from making me a quieter cryer. Maybe it's not suppose to work until I've had it for longer but the negative side effect just suck. It's a shame. I think I'll just cram in video game and throw my beautiful Sunday morning away.

You're not imaging it. I had those symptoms on it and it did nothing for me. And I have those symptoms with trying anything with serotonin in (withij the day or less) so now my GP and I agreed not to try anything again due to this.

I was on 200mg (many years ago and for months) and it did absolutely fuck all for me.

Do not suffer like this. Things will get worse.

Stop taking it. It's been a day. Try something else if you wish

Hope things ease for you

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

I always read up on all the meds I'm given, I remember being on that med, I've just stopped taking trazadone, it wasn't helping, think I've screwed up every psychiatrist I've met. Not sure what I'm going to be put on next.