Venting First time advice

[clicktokill]

I had sex for the first time consensually yesterday I've been basically raped and sexually assaulted my whole life. The guy was really nice we go to school together. We have things in common we went out for the first time yesterday I didn't think we were gonna do that we were just supposed to walk around this park. Then we were in his car and he kissed me. I really wanted him to like me so we did it. I felt safe when he touched me he was nice. I didn't really want to do it but it wasn't that bad. But I'm afraid he just used me. And I really like him I want to keep going out with him. We haven't talked since we did that like we haven't texted each other. I'll see him soon whenever we have our next class together. I really want to text him but I don't want to seem desperate should I? It's been making me quite sad.

 

[chaewon]

hopefully u do not take any offense or be upset by what I say but I am just trying to be as realistic as possible as a male myself.

I think that u having sex the first time u hangout , especially in a car after a park walk without him doing anything for u to deserve it will definitely make you seem cheap and easy in his eyes, and the fact that it might have been casual for him and he has done very little effort also points towards him using u, I would advice to stay away from the hole of letting someone use u knowing they are especially when u are hoping for love or a relationship, because it almost always never works out and would wreck u more. But if u do not just mind trading sexual pleasure with that person / being friends with benefits and so on, then it is not as bad and should be fine.

 

[clicktokill]

hopefully u do not take any offense or be upset by what I say but I am just trying to be as realistic as possible as a male myself.

I think that u having sex the first time u hangout , especially in a car after a park walk without him doing anything for u to deserve it will definitely make you seem cheap and easy in his eyes, and the fact that it might have been casual for him and he has done very little effort also points towards him using u, I would advice to stay away from the hole of letting someone use u knowing they are especially when u are hoping for love or a relationship, because it almost always never works out and would wreck u more. But if u do not just mind trading sexual pleasure with that person / being friends with benefits and so on, then it is not as bad and should be fine.

Yeah your right I'm moving campuses anyway I always do when the classes get to hard. I just thought he liked me and I would stay this time

 

[chaewon]

Yeah your right I'm moving campuses anyway I always do when the classes get to hard. I just thought he liked me and I would stay this time

I really hope I didnt upset u or anything i have been thinking ab this story the past minutes and it really hurts to imagine it from ur perspective so I am sorry for everything u went through and that u fee that way, but i also want u to know that u would eventually run into someone who actually does the effort and gives u genuine affection and love unconditionally for nothing in return, just try to not under value urself u are also worth alot.

 

[clicktokill]

I really hope I didnt upset u or anything i have been thinking ab this story the past minutes and it really hurts to imagine it from ur perspective so I am sorry for everything u went through and that u fee that way, but i also want u to know that u would eventually run into someone who actually does the effort and gives u genuine affection and love unconditionally for nothing in return, just try to not under value urself u are also worth alot.

I do that a lot like i know
Im like conventionally attractive or whatever but i dont know why guys dont like me like they do but they only want to have sex with me and I just want friends and someone to talk to all the time. I keep
Like not eating I'm already really skinny but I hope it'll make me prettier so that maybe one of them will want me beyond lust.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

There is no one nicer in the world than a guy who wants to have sex with you (regardless of whether they like you, don't really care either way, or actually dislike you).
I'm so sorry to hear about your past. My hope for you going forward is that you can find enough love, compassion, and respect for yourself that you won't want to do something just to make someone like you ever again. If they don't like you, sex will not change that. If they do like you, waiting until you've really gotten to know each other & have established some trust before doing anything won't change that either.

 

[hailspark]

I had sex for the first time consensually yesterday I've been basically raped and sexually assaulted my whole life. The guy was really nice we go to school together. We have things in common we went out for the first time yesterday I didn't think we were gonna do that we were just supposed to walk around this park. Then we were in his car and he kissed me. I really wanted him to like me so we did it. I felt safe when he touched me he was nice. I didn't really want to do it but it wasn't that bad. But I'm afraid he just used me. And I really like him I want to keep going out with him. We haven't talked since we did that like we haven't texted each other. I'll see him soon whenever we have our next class together. I really want to text him but I don't want to seem desperate should I? It's been making me quite sad.

Whatever happens try to think about how you consented, felt comfortable, and safe during it (hopefully). That's the most important thing. I've been in a similar situation and for me it brought me some comfort knowing that not all men will push you/force you into it. Also I'd probably wait until you see him in class and just try to see if he's friendly/approaches you, etc and you can try to gauge what he's thinking from that. :)