Venting Finding quick, painless, and reasonable ways to off yourself is a complete pain in the ass.

[Thatdude]

So today for a few moments I gotten sick of my drunk sister. My sister decided to get drunk and her 5 year old, I have to take care of along with my parents. I spoke up against her because she was still coming in and out at midnight, and my dad started going off on me because he didn't want to deal with my sister going insane. Him saying it isn't my deal, I have a house I'm able to sleep in, and so on. I mentioned I'm the one who has to clean up after her. Then he started going off about me not having a job saying some bull shit about why don't I just apply to Walmart, and how he is holding shit together by him putting stupid hours in at his work.

Eventually it gotten to a point where I just walked away and went to my room. I sat on my bed thinking of ways how to off myself that second. I'm 100% sick of my life, I honestly gave it all I got to have a good life, but I found not even low end jobs really care to hire someone who is autistic. And the worse part about it is I actually believed and went through the bull shit of going to school for a degree in aerospace, IT, 2 other degrees. I went through the bull shit of dealing with all of that, and when I got done no one wants to hire me due to I'm "odd" or whatever. Literally I have been laughed out of fucking interviews before when I answered every damn answer right. Dealing with damn bullies in multiple jobs, and literally being fired from 1 on my first day due to my god damn autism. And having assholes like Temple Grandin giving this fuzzy bull shit when in reality autistic people are THE HIGHEST group to be unemployed and underemployed. Even more when they are educated and compared to other educated people with disabilities.

Anyways, I sat on my bed and started to think about what do I need to off myself. The outlet, maybe. But the fuse will blow before I die most likely. I could just take a knife to my throat. But I most likely will miss since I don't know what I'm doing, and it would damage the house. Plus blood dripping from the ceiling is a tail tail sign something is up. But I could do it in the shower so the blood goes down the drain. But even then if I do get caught before I die I most likely will make it harder in the future to find a way to die. Plus that isn't a peaceful way to go.
Based on what I have at hand, I'm kinda out of ideas.

Does anyone have a list of items needed for a debreather, and possibly where to get them? Like I have no idea where to get a can to put soda lime in.

 

[Spitfire]

I wish I could help with your question. I am not familiar with the stuff needed for that? I know this doesn't exactly help you. I really just wanted you to know that you were heard.

You sound like you are smart and have been trying really hard.

I hope something does eventually work out for you.

 

[Thegoldenapples]

You should look at the PPH book. It's on here if you put in the search engine

 

[Caspers]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe we're not allowed to suggest techniques? I'd suggest you look at the suicide wiki and see if anything catches your eye

 

[nitroautnz]

Depend on what you can have deliver to your parents place, you can have SN, the exit bag ... ?

 

[LittleJem]

I'm confused if the rules have changed? People have posted about de-breathers before on this forum if you do a search.

OP, I'm sorry. It sounds like you are very smart and you know the truth, and you also know how ideally people would be behaving, and you are in a difficult and unhappy situation. There are so many bullies in this world, it's really unpleasant and the people who get bullied tend to be the kinder people.

 

[Thatdude]

Depend on what you can have deliver to your parents place, you can have SN, the exit bag ... ?

The problem with SN is it's a multiday thing if I recall, and it seems to have a bit of pain involved. Between there is small kids in the house, people can find the stuff, and so on. SN is pretty much out of the picture for now.

Exit bag method is the one I wanted to go with. But the problem with that is research. Plus I think I have to be somewhat kinda quick. Like it will bring up too many questions with the stuff just sitting around. Assuming nothing gets better, then I'm offing myself in a year or 2.

Any case, both methods aren't normally someone has at their hand. Like think of a normal house. How would you have a quick and painless death with average things around the house.

 

[BerryCakes]

The problem with SN is it's a multiday thing if I recall, and it seems to have a bit of pain involved. Between there is small kids in the house, people can find the stuff, and so on. SN is pretty much out of the picture for now.

Exit bag method is the one I wanted to go with. But the problem with that is research. Plus I think I have to be somewhat kinda quick. Like it will bring up too many questions with the stuff just sitting around. Assuming nothing gets better, then I'm offing myself in a year or 2.

Any case, both methods aren't normally someone has at their hand. Like think of a normal house. How would you have a quick and painless death with average things around the house.

I... really don't think you can, unless you have an interesting drug cabinet. Or you're a gun-owning American.

I am just having issues understanding one thing. Why are you worried about the kids finding your suicide equipment, but not worried about them finding your body? Do you have another location in mind?

 

[Ghost2211]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe we're not allowed to suggest techniques? I'd suggest you look at the suicide wiki and see if anything catches your eye

You can discuss methods and how they work you can't suggest someone ctb or pressure them to do so. There is a difference between "This is how to hang yourself correctly" and "you should go hang yourself". Subtle yet massive difference.

 

[Thatdude]

Do you have another location in mind?

Yes. However if I need to take my life right this second as I felt the other day (and I wish I did). I would try to do it in a way where the kids wouldn't find my body, but my parents would. I even have stuff on my phone that I coded. Where I press a button, an hour goes by, and it calls the cops and uses a TTS to let them know what is going on.